General

You’re so fat that when you jumped up in the air, you got stuck!

*i have no vertical jump*

You are so fat, that when you step on a scale and it says, "One at a Time PLEASE!"

lolololololololol

holy shit.

that was great.

Q. What do you call two fat men having a chat?
A. A heavy discussion.

you so fat every time to turn around it is your birthday!

cake! yay!

you are so fat you need to catch two trains and a bus to get onto your good side!

ahahah you so fat when you wear a red raincoat kids think you are the Koolaid man.

OH YEA!

om nom nom


you so fat your bum is the size of Texas and when stuck for oil we hit Crisco!

good to see that everyone has a sense of humor lets see...

your so fat, that they use your belt to measure the Earth's equator.

The guy is so fat, if someone would melt him down, they'd have enough oil to power Detroit for a month.

You are so fat you were baptized in Sea World.

Your so big, you play hopscotch like, "Texas...Alabama...North Carolina...Pennsylvania..."

Yo mama so fat she’s got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book.

Yo mama is so fat, she got arrested at the airport for ten pounds of crack.

Your so fat you fart out hurricanes.

now thats funny

I went to a pub in London, and two fat women were sitting at the bar, talking in a very heavy accent. I approached them and asked:

- Are you two ladies from Scotland?

- It's WALES you idiot!

- I'm sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?

... I awoke in a hospital.