General

Dating women without physical attraction?

I explained right after the sentence you quoted that I think there are degrees of shallowness.


Yeah, I agree that there are degrees of shallowness like you said, but I was asking to find out what is the bare minimum for someone to be considered shallow at all in your view?
7 months

Dating women without physical attraction?

I explained right after the sentence you quoted that I think there are degrees of shallowness.

Malvineous:
Yeah, I agree that there are degrees of shallowness like you said, but I was asking to find out what is the bare minimum for someone to be considered shallow at all in your view?


I don’t think there’s a bare minimum. Everyone can be shallow sometimes. It’s never the greatest thing ever, but if you’re not outright hurting others or causing yourself harm it’s not a big deal.
7 months

Dating women without physical attraction?

The reason I said you are treating women like a monolith is precisely because you use words like "mostly" and "typically." Both words mean "This is how things are except for a few exceptions." That's creating a monolith.
The truth is that there's a lot of diversity in how women approach things. This includes sexuality.

Malvineous:
My understanding was that seeing people as a monolith meant that you viewed them all the same way, or the exceptions are so rare that they're negligible. I don't see it that way. A majority might be only 50.1%. Even something like 20% might be the main trend if everything else is smaller. Let's say we were able to run a survey and poll every single woman in the western world about what they find attractive. Do you think you'd get a billion answers that were all completely different, like only one woman in the world likes tall men? Or would there be some overlap between answers? If we tallied up the common answers, we could turn that data into a pie chart. Do you think the slices would be completely equal in size, like the same exact number of women like tall men as ones who prefer short men? Or would the slices all be different sizes?

When we talk in generalities, we're really just guessing about which pie slice is the largest. This is something most people do to some degree in different ways. It's a way to try to understand the world and how to move within it. Yes, this can veer into being toxic with some people who take it too far, but that's not always the case. Streaming networks use generalizations to predict which shows will be popular. As you're growing up, you pay attention to how people react to you and adjust. "People don't like it when I do X, so I should avoid doing X from now on", even though that generalization isn't absolute, and there are many people who do like it. Pattern recognition is extremely common, but most people don't even realize when they're doing it.


You're like ... so close to getting it.

Let me help you out.

When you want to describe a group of people without painting broad strokes over the entire group, use the word SOME. Some means "a portion of a group that isn't indicative of the whole."

For example

If I said "Some men beat up their wives," I don't think anyone would disagree with me.

However, if I said "Men typically beat up their wives," or "Men mostly beat up their wives," I'll get pushback. Why? Because the first example describes a group of men that are not representative of the average man. Meanwhile, the last two examples paint he average man as a violent abuser (which is not true).

So please be more mindful of your word choices.
7 months

Dating women without physical attraction?

ForeverFFA:
Many people (yes, including myself, a woman) can empathize with the struggle to experience sexual attraction outside of this fetish. Shallow or not, I don't have a problem with anyone's personal choice to not keep trying to make anything else work. But there's a lot more that has been going on in this thread that makes me think that the OP would benefit from an attitude shift towards the humans that he is seeking relationships with.


On board with all of this
7 months

Dating women without physical attraction?

The expectations for me as a fat guy are pretty low so it’s a bit of a who I find attractive vs reality kind of thing, personally I think physical attractiveness has to be there but it isn’t everything
7 months

Dating women without physical attraction?

BustingButtons:
To me this all reads like someone trying to evade self evaluation. Talking about woken elsewhere, here and there whilst failing to tackle the objectification and fetishisation inhibiting their ability to find love.

It's like when smeone asked Speilberg about his movies and it was "I was going through a divorce and didn't want to do therapy ".

X_Larsson:
Feel free to explore this a bit more. Maybe you are on to something? I ask that you avoid talking about objectification and feederism as a fetish.

I am the opposite, highly emotionally invested and will never be attracted to a (good looking?) woman that behaves in a way that I find unpleasant.
Some ie think Lizzo is an attractive BBW (based on looks), while I find her directly offputting due to her lack of grace and sophistication.

But I am sure people here will now try to turn that as well against me.


Do you think the character she plays as an entertainer is who she is in private?
7 months

Dating women without physical attraction?

X_Larsson:
And EXACTLY what have I said, that is "intolerant" or "ignorant"? And against whom? Show me! Your feelings do not count as evidence.


Against women. Objectifying them. As they’ve said numerous times in this thread
7 months

Dating women without physical attraction?

It’s been demonstrated to you. You just want to argue and frankly I don’t wanna see you take anymore Ls. Just admit you were wrong and apologize, try to do better.
7 months

Dating women without physical attraction?

Morbidly A Beast:
It’s been demonstrated to you. You just want to argue and frankly I don’t wanna see you take anymore Ls. Just admit you were wrong and apologize, try to do better.

X_Larsson:
Haha, absolutely not. You "feel" something, but are not able to substantiate that claim. That is nothing I should apologize for. Have I hated, slandered, threatend, lied, bullied, shamed?


And you’re just being an ass, completely unprovoked because women spoke to you in a way that was dismissive to your conception of them. Just quietly take the L and apologize
7 months

Dating women without physical attraction?

Here we have OP compare his plight to that of gay people and continue to ignore multiple women calling him out of his misogyny. He demands explanations that have already been given or rejects them outright because he doesn't like them and accuses people of ad hominem attacks were there were none.

You hate to see it.
7 months
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