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Hey all

Just wondering if anyone has experience talking to a sex therapist about feedism? I'm considering bringing it up but I'm somewhat terrified to. They're kink friendly though and have talked me through other fetishes so maybe it would be okay?

Thanks in advance!

This is heart-warming! I'm so glad that you found someone who can listen to you and can be supportive of your effort to live your best life!

I agree that it can be awkward at first to bring it up with a therapist - when I first started discussing it, I asked if it was okay to discuss body image, fat positivity, and sexual kink because weight and fat and sexuality topics often contain potential triggers for people - even with therapists. (A good therapist should be able to separate their therapist-self from their own personal beliefs and phobias, but they're still human beings. A fat-phobic therapist might find it very difficult to help you with fat-positive intentions and goals.)

It has been so helpful for me, though, to discuss my feelings, frustrations, and physical/mental outlook with them, though. I was fortunate to have someone who is very understanding and has been able to work with me on how to cope with the potential mental drawbacks of getting and being fat.

For example, my therapist will often ask me if my kink is:

A. Helping me with - or getting in the way of - my overall happiness and positive mental outlook on life.

B. Causing me any personal harm physically, mentally, and/or emotionally - including any physical effects due to added weight. If my blood pressure skyrockets, for example, then is that effect something that will negatively hold me back from other things I want to do?


C. Interfering with or supporting my relationship and life goals?

Highly recommend! I can't stress enough how much having someone who is not a stranger on the internet who can listen objectively and then help clarify my own thoughts.

I'd say that unless you bring it up there is no point in talking to the sex therapist. Be bold.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Thank you guys so much for all your advice and support on this! I'm dealing with resolving some sexual trauma honestly and for a while I thought I could separate those issues from feedism and kink, but I found my identity as a submissive and also the feedism started to bleed into things as I take my sexual agency back for myself. My last session with her I wound up discovering that even though I've participated in kink for a long time that I still have a lot of internal shame with the pleasure I get from feedism and gaining in particular. (allowing myself to feel nonsexual pleasure outside of this has been a struggle as well that we're working through!)

I'll see her the week after next and I'll bring it up this time! Thank you all so much for your advice and support. I'll keep you posted on how it goes and what she says.

I cannot stress enough how thankful I am for all your supportive responses.

I would recommend yes. If you have a good therapist they are not going to judge you, they will probably be curious and ask you about it. You will discover things about yourself and feel more liberated when a professional tells you that it is completely normal to have fetishes.

Hey all!

I did it! it was very non-judgemental and welcoming. She suggested some sex-positive centers that also have kink meetup groups to explore things more. She also suggested some ideas about improving my body confidence, but mostly was very welcoming and kind about just being kind to myself about this.

Thanks so much for your input and I am very happy to report it went really well and I'm learning a lot.

I am SO HAPPY for you!

It is an incredibly liberating feeling to talk to someone about your authentic self - especially if you feel you have to hide who you really are.

Keep up the great work and I hope that your ongoing journey helps you to feel more satisfied with life and where you're headed!