General

Confessions pt. 2

Computersaysno wrote
In some ways, it's reassuring to hear that there are other people struggling in similar ways to yourself. However, I don't really want to be reassured like that because I'd prefer it if nobody had to experience it.


Well said.
13 years

Confessions pt. 2

1. I'm pretty sure I don't grok people. I can intellectually understand that "Person X is likely to do Y", and "People tend to do A, B, and F", but on an emotional level I "don't get it" most of the time. I'm very phlegmatic, relatively well-adjusted in most ways except socialization, and I don't understand why so many people - and I'm not even talking about here - let their emotions rule, and often destroy, them.

2. I've figured out that I am completely unbiased about fat - some people look their best at 80, some at 120, some at 150 or 180, some at 270. Same with intentional weight gain or stuffing. I can, and have been, attracted to girls who are skinny, have very short (crew-cut, practically) hair, are fit, etc - and I've been attracted to women who are 250 and wanting to gain several hundred more. For myself, I'm 250-260, and the only opinion I have about my being overweight is that if I want to start playing more laser tag, I need to improve my stamina, flexibility, and back muscles, which will probably lead to or require weight loss.

3. The woman I've found most attractive in body and personality, I'll probably never meet face to face but we occasionally chat online.

4. I've just about given up on meeting someone local who shares my interests and reciprocates my kinks well enough to understand me (I cannot sub; I do not care one way or the other about being a dom; if you're going to stuff or gain for me, do it for yourself too, or it won't turn me on).

5. Any woman who's shown interest in me that I have a chance of getting together with, has suddenly dumped me (usually playing the "I'm going to ignore you and pretend I never heard of you until the next time I need something" game). Fair enough, maybe there's something wrong with me or at least with my presentation of myself, but could at least one of them TELL me what that is, so maybe I stand a chance of fixing it?

6. Nor can I particularly seem to -care- about finding someone to spend my life with. Everyone seems to think it's a burning need. I don't. See confession #1.

7. I miss the 80s.

8. Similarly to 6 - despite having strong turn-ons and such, I have no interest in sex as a goal, only as a means to make a partner happier - whether that be orgasm, pregnancy, etc.

9. I have no idea what it means when a woman says, "I want a guy with ambition". To me, that means she thinks I should always be looking for the next promotion/raise/etc. All I care about, all I see any value in caring about, is: doing my job, doing it well, and that the employer is as loyal to me as I am to them - I'm a Hufflepuff, not a Slytherin. I've got a good job, why do I need to be playing politics to get a "better" one that I won't enjoy?

10. I'm fairly certain I'm some variety of Aspie. I've read the traits associated, and while I've learned, sometimes the hard way, how to deal with the associated problems, it still fits me very well, I think. Like others I've read about, I don't see it as a problem... except that I sometimes wish I could flip a switch for five minutes and understand why other people react to certain things the way they do.

11. I feel for some of the other people in this thread... not being someone who indulges in self-loathing for more than a few afternoons each year, I don't understand at all, but I feel sorry for those who hate themselves or their bodies.

12. I hate bugs. Spiders, roaches, flies, grasshoppers, any insect and most arachnids. Small crabs are kinda cool but that's it, anything else gets smashed. They terrify me. When I saw that there was a flying insect in my bedroom once, I could not sleep in that room that night. I had to sleep on the couch. I don't mind reading about spiders, but that's because they're usually anthropomorphized.

13. I love dogs and cats, but mostly dogs.

14. I love Transformers, Lego's, models, 3-D puzzles, and computers. They make sense to me, and all but the last appeal to my spacial reasoning skills.

15. I will always have a messy desk. At work, at home, the desktop on my computer, etc. Always. I don't understand why some people can't stand to have messy desks.
13 years

Confessions pt. 2

onlyinsecret800 wrote
Well, my confession is that while I think about this stuff on FF constantly, and all I really ever want to be is a stay-at-home feedee to a wonderful feeder...

I feel the pressure to do more. I'm in the top ten of my school and participate in tons of extra curricular activities and crap, and everyone thinks I can go really far in life, like becoming a doctor or something.

And I've considered becoming a doctor but I don't want to make a mistake and end up killing someone- it would haunt me forever.

And at the same time, I am incredibly lazy. I procrastinate to no end and I really only do the things I do in my school because I didn't trust anyone else to do them, but I'm lazy and really do not want to do any of the things I do. But the things I do give me power, and I like being able to do what I want.

Deep down though, my real desires are throwing away all my responsibilities and just being someones feedee. Because thats the only thing I knew I wanted to do from toddler age. I may have said "teacher, meteorologist, or doctor" but what I truly want is to be a feedee.

I just feel bad, I have a horrible guilt complex. Because I know I could do great things, save lives perhaps, and I have the talent and brains to do it..... but I dont WANT to do it. I'm throwing something that could be beneficial to the world away for my own personal wants, and I feel bad about it.

....sorry this went on forever. lol


You can't do both? Be a successful brilliant person who helps others while also be a lazy feedee who eats and grows for the sexual satisfaction of both yourself and your feeder?

Being fat doesn't have to stop anyone fulfilling thier dreams, unless you're talking about immobility of course. smiley
13 years

Confessions pt. 2

onlyinsecret800 wrote
I know I could do both, but I just don't know if I want to. Honestly, I think I'd rather do nothing and be a full-time feedee ;D , but then I'd feel guilty if I was throwing my decent brains away. Also what happens if I get left or something and don't have a job to support myself! gah. smiley


Sounds like you want to be really rich and not have to work. Join the (huge) club!

Anyway, I hate to say this: but as much as you'd love sitting on your butt eating bon-bons all day, I don't think it would be enough for you--even if you got over the guilt.

You're going to have to figure out some compromise, like most people on this planet.
13 years

Confessions pt. 2

I want to have sex with one of my best friends.
She is engaged. Not really attracted to her man, but definitely want to cover her in chocolate and eat her up.

She knows, that minx. What a tease.
13 years

Confessions pt. 2

ok so here goes...

I'm 31 and feel like i wasted a great deal of my life finding out what i want to do with it. I've had several jobs, all which sucked, and I am insecure about the fact that it's taking me so long to get my ass settled.

I try to be nice to others, even when I don't like them because I'm afraid of being rejected.

I have a hard time connecting with people. I don't know how to open up to new people and be honest about myself, again because of fear of rejection.

my mother died a few years ago. After her divorce she started drinking heavily and because this excessive alcohol usage she weakened herself to the point that it killed her. I partly blame myself for not trying to stop her from drinking.
13 years

Confessions pt. 2

1. im an ass because i dont like letting people in, ive been bunred wayy too many times.
2. in my heart i just want to help people
3. i think about leaving this site everyday
4. i waffle between gaining and dropping all the weight about 3 times a week
13 years

Confessions pt. 2

XgorgedNgorgeousX wrote:
I have the biggest fear of uncircumcised penises. The thought of them makes me sick to my stomach, whereas other penises I don't care for either way.


This seems to be an American thing because I have never heard a girl from any other country have a problem with it.

I guess its ok if most American men are circumcised, but, at least in Australia, it tends to be more of a minority.
13 years

Confessions pt. 2

bbwildrose wrote:
Maximum wrote:
XgorgedNgorgeousX wrote:
I have the biggest fear of uncircumcised penises. The thought of them makes me sick to my stomach, whereas other penises I don't care for either way.


This seems to be an American thing because I have never heard a girl from any other country have a problem with it.

I guess its ok if most American men are circumcised, but, at least in Australia, it tends to be more of a minority.


It's a minority in the UK too - I kind of like foreskins cos you can do Southpark Kenny impressions with them smiley


o.O
13 years

Confessions pt. 2

i have really low self confidence. one on one, im usually ok, but otherwise im really not. once im comfortable with someone or something, them im fine, but taking that first step is really difficult for me lately.
13 years
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