General

Basically, you have a choice between her and feederism. Only you can make that choice. Nobody can make it for you. Over the years, I have given up my preferences to be with someone that is special to me. That includes very fat women, very busty women, and feedees.

Thank you for your comment. I wasnt trying to move the Choice away from me and expect someone Else to do it for me.
I was hoping i get some experiences like yours on how you managed that Situation, so Thank you

What you are describing is that you are not attracted to your partner, physically. That is incredibly unfair to her because then her needs are not being met, not just yours.



I'm going to be blunt because you did specifically ask for an unfiltered opinion: you are dating a woman who is thin and you *know* you are not attracted to that and you told her early on and still continued the relationship.

I'm saying this as a fat woman who has always been the "secret" of thin/average FAs who proudly date (And then cheat on) thin partners: this action is inherently fatphobic and I strongly encourage you to explore the shame YOU have around YOUR attraction to fat people. If you did not carry this shame, you would not be here making this post so far in to a relationship that you have just clearly expressed can't move forward in.

She has clearly expressed how undervalued she feels because of this. Of course I understand you still care about and likely even love each other; but that is not enough to continue a relationship, especially when you are ambivalent about your attraction.

I don't see a problem with FAs trying to date thinner people. Sometimes they do realize that they have attraction to all bodies and that's great! But you have clearly figured out that you don't, and you owe it to her to let her find someone who is attracted to her, and the same for you also.

NO, cheating is not the answer (if you have not agreed mutually what adult content is okay to consume together, then yes that is infidelity). It won't stop with just consuming content. I cannot express this enough, you will eventually move toward a relationship with a fat person through a place like this, and then you are using *everybody* and harming fat people even more. I cannot tell you how most of us are treated like we are disposable and interchangeable instead of as actual humans with feelings. You know subconsciously that you want a connection with a fat person and pretending otherwise just to keep a thin partner only uses everyone as an object.

TLDR: you already know the answer. It sucks, I know, and I do sincerely understand it's hard. Loving someone also means acknowledging and acting upon that you cannot provide them what they need, which you can't. That's no one's fault.

You sound like you gave it your best shot and that's a good thing. Most relationships are not supposed to last forever, and you have a choice of either *really* hurting a lot of people through deception and denial (including yourself!) or being honest with everyone for their own good.

The same thing happen to me with my ex girlfriend. I open my thought about fat girls too fast and it kind of turned off her perspective toward me afterwards.
Even while I tried to explain that I was in love and I love her body (she wasn't thin, but wasn't super big and I didn't care), but she kind of kept mistrust. Like if you are not fully with your preferences, it would be impossible really love else.
It never really change since then, even after 3 years and we broke up.

Not saying your relation ship is already doom, but from experience, I would have stop trying way before and focus on a fresh start.
Now i'm with someone incredible for almost 10 year, told her I appreciate all kind of body but got some chub appreciation and would always find her attractive whatever her weight. Again, shes not thin, but not super fat and who cares, she's amazing.

Yes, my core think 300+ pound girls is "more" attractive but there will always be more attractive else where.

Once a FA, always a FA. Your preference for fat and/or feedism will not go away. You will always feel like you are missing something in your relationship. You deserve someone you are sexually attracted to, and she deserves someone who is sexually attracted to her.

I grew up in an environment with little to no big girls and maybe for lack of bigger women, have fallen in love with thin girls, because of their personaity. Luckily, it never came to a relation, because I don't know how I would have done that, as it was pure platonic.

It is absolutely worth it to wait a bit longer until you meet someone who is also your type physically. You are still very young, so you have plenty of time to meet someone.