General

Kind of, is the answer, and it depends a lot by how you go about it.

Im really curious on what people mean with self-acceptance. And i must admit that altho im naive about it, i nevertheless find the notion a little bit absurd. So if you could enlighten me on that i would appreciate it a lot.
As for self-worth i find it completely ridiculous because its a gross simplification of human nature. Saying "people are worth x" is like saying "People are good" or "People are bad" its a vew. Nothing more. It doesnt reflect the complex reality. We can certainly do a far better job at.... measuring ourselves. Now, if this is done for different reasons, say confidence, its even more stupid. Because it automatically asumes that people need a lie to feel confident enough to do something. No, they need help. And our society doesnt provide even that. If there is any other usefullness in self-worth please explain it.
Also im really curious on what you mean exactly by self-love, because if its something that happens through weight gain... Isnt it possible that its (lets say) self-desire instead?

This can, and has happened to me. 😁

I know I'm older than a lot of people here, but I've had many years of struggling with confidence, with self-image, and self love. Therapy has helped immensely as have my SO and friend relationships.

But when I started gaining weight? At first it was bodybuilding, then bulking, and then a fat belly to show off at the gym... The freedom (and feeling I deserve) to eat whatever I want, the freedom to indulge in food and fetish, the confidence that came with my size and desire to display my body in a positive way? It's been priceless. My increasing weight wasn't the ONLY factor, but it's definitely been an important one.

Can i ask a bunch of naive and pretty personal questions? 😅

🤣 Sure, I can choose not to answer if I'm uncomfortable with anything. Here, or in a private message?

That was almost exactly as if I wrote it myself! I really can’t add anything to it.

I feel like when I am gaining, I’m actually doing something I want to do. So often, I’ve made myself feel or have been made to feel by others that anything I do that doesn’t benefit them is somehow selfish. I have been working on letting that ho the past several years and this has made my gain recently feel so much more rewarding. I would call this self love although some people may equate it to self destruction…

Narcissists love a good target, I know this all too well. And when I read this, I wonder if part of it for me is similar. A good chance.

I think you and I have chatted in the past. We have a lot in common. 👍

I hope theyre gonna be okay enough! Okay, so... How do you percieve confidence, self image and self love? And also, how do you know these things have improved? How do you percieve the difference between the before & after therapy?

Also, how do you percieve that freedom? What do you feel is the difference before you started and now? And the same about the feeling that you deserve it. How do you percieve its before and after difference, but for this one im also interested to learn why, if that makes sense. Why do you think you deserve it? Why that wasnt the case previously?

These are my questions. Now i admit they sound very interogative, and thats because im asking to learn! (which is what an interogator does too 😅) i just hope theyre not too... cruel?

I think I'll address the therapy part first. There isn't usually a before and after difference per each individual appointments. It's someone who is *qualified* to help you cope with your individual journey. I don't have to worry about their feelings, and they can make suggestions based on their growing knowledge of who I am, and what would be best for me. I can then make decisions with a little more confidence because I trust them and their expertise.

I have someone who knows and understands my story and situation, and nobody on the planet has to know about any of it, as it's confidential. Over the years, I have made major progress overall, and specifically with my PTSD.

And as per the philosophical questions? I have two "non-answers."

1. I can't tell you my life story because it's long, complicated, and you probably wouldn't believe half of it. 🤣

2. There is no logical road map to life. There will be some things you experience, and many that you won't. Being sympathetic or empathetic will go a long way. I was very young when I didn't feel deserving of eating (freely), and it seems you haven't felt that way in your life - which is awesome! I hope you don't experience that. If you don't feel a lack of confidence, or an absence of peace in your heart and mind, I can't describe it to you in a way that will help you understand the flip side, the healing.

If you've bever broken a bone, you don't know the feeling when the cast comes off. Does that make sense? I can't even begin to tell you all the ways I was (and in a few ways, still am) broken. But healing isn't a perception, it's both a *feeling* and it's a *fact*. The cast is off, the bone is strong, freedom and confidence and happiness have room to grow.

Does this help, or make it more confusing? 🤔

Your questions are not cruel, they are honest, and showing your youth. 😊