General

I'm 50, and as others have mentioned, there are waves, but for me it has never gone away. It can sit on the backburner for various lengths of time, but it can also surge forward to the point of being a distraction (but not problem) in my life.

I will say this... As I got fatter, more and more I *became* my own fetish. It's not a suit I can take off or a website I can close. I'm fat all the time. This has simultaneously done two things:
1 - satisfied my curiosity and I LOVE my body now.
2 - I feel that strong draw to gain more and more, which may be neverending as I never thought I'd get THIS big. LOL!

So I ride the waves of intensity, and do my best to keep a grip on the reality/fantasy borderline. It's slippery. 🤣

I also want to know where the hypnosis for weight gain and arousal during eating are found. I'm *curious* but not sure if I'd play them on repeat. 😏 Did I mention slippery?

I have never managed to kick the fetish despite trying in the past. I always come back. My only real hang up has been finding someone also into it, I long for companionship as many do, I have posted about it before. And for me having a wife, maybe some kids is more important than being massive. So I try to avoid any actual weight gain on my own. If I found someone into this, then I would be all set. So until then I can only really watch from the sidelines and read some stories, watch videos, and post here.

If anything it might come and go in cycles. For me its part of who I am and ultimately I have accepted that regardless of where my weight goes.

I developed this fetish a couple of decades ago during my teen years and it never left me.

As of now I feel like I have to try and get fat enough that I have a permanent slab of fat across my waist line, even if I end up regretting it and try to lose it.

I find it kind of ironic that I hated being a fat kid /teen but hate not being fat enough as an adult.

it never leaves u I guess - even if u loose the fat, u will be left with rolls of saggy excess skin, which is just has sexy

i find, if anything, it just grows...

i remember when i was in high school and university, i thought fat people were attractive. but i was mostly looking at people that were just a little overweight... as time went on, and i got to experience being with fat people, dating them, becoming a fledgling feeder, what i once considered fat was just chubby. or even average!

so what i was attracted to grew and grew. and now, later in my adult life as i've put on weight, the same is sort of true. initially i couldn't imagine being 200 lbs! but that become normal and 300 lbs seemed like a distant fantasy, too large to be real... until it was! so now, at my current size, i know 500 lbs is definitely possible, it's now becoming more of a question of compromises - knowing how being that size would impact the rest of my life.

Feedism certainly encompasses a spectrum. Where one identifies oneself on the spectrum can change. How one gets off sexually within it can change. The intensity and/or clarity of how strongly a person feels this is an inseparable part of who they are usually varies over time. (It might start off more casual or fantasy-based and turn into a lifestyle.) But generally speaking, it’s not something that goes away.

tl;dr
As a doctor, a scientist, and your attorney, I strongly advise you to eat 16 doughnuts a day. 😉

Here's my theory. From what I've read, the way memory works in your brain is by creating a neural pathway for the event. The more your brain travels that neural pathway (the more you think about it), the stronger it gets, and the easier to access next time. This is why people can easily forget what they had for breakfast yesterday, but they still remember things they had to memorize in school when they were 10 years old, even if it's knowledge that they don't find useful in their daily lives. In the first example, they only thought about it while it was happening and never returned to that neural pathway, whereas in the second, they had to think about it a lot, so they permanently made that memory strong in their minds.

I think fetishes work in a similar way. They create a neural pathway of a trigger, like 'fat = arousal', and the more that gets triggered in their brains, the stronger that connection becomes. Your interest in it may come and go (just like you can go years without thinking about a specific memory), but that connection is permanent and there's no way to weaken it. I think if you don't want to have certain fetishes, your best bet is to not expose your brain to them in the first place.

Great. So basically I should accept it. One way or another, sooner or later, it sounds like I’m going to be a fat guy… 😭😅

I think this checks out. I’ve tried to reduce the effect femdom has on me, even erase it by any means possible I found online, and nothing worked. I could put it to the back burner for a bit, but sooner or later, I’d hear a phrase from a person or TV, or see something that immediately triggered a response and it came flooding back.

Currently, I’m able to tel myself I don’t want to be fat and can eat a normal portion. And yet other times, like yesterday, I’m happily indulging in a double burger and fries from Shake Shake (my wife kept feeding me the fries wtf!) and snacking on available cookies. And yet I can tell myself I don’t want the extra weight…

I’m worried it’s already been neurally tied to my love of femdom and is just here to stay at this point…