I wonder if anyone here shares this experience. I've been fat for a long time, and have celebrated my fatness for just as long. I was introduced to stuffing by a lover, and it was a wonderful revelation to me. Later I discovered ''liquid stuffing'' and started to bloat myself regularly (taking suitable precautions against hyponatremia -- water poisoning) -- usually with no more than a couple of litres of liquid. (If you've done it then you'll know how sensual a seriously bloated belly can feel, and how erotic it can feel to ingest large amounts of fluid. You might also understand how someone might begin to fantasise about increasing the amount of liquid that's ingested.)
So far so straightfoward. But later I found that I began to fantasise about drinking really huge amounts at once. I found myself staring at large (more than 4 litres) jugs of beer, milk, or water and imagining the effect that drinking them would have on me. While this was just fantasy there was no ''problem'', but of late I have found myself /compulsively/ acting out what used to be my fantasy. At random times of the day I fill a vessel with water or milk or lucozade, and start to imagine how it will feel to drink it all down; AND THEN I FIND MYSELF drinking it all down. (Tonight, for example, I drank 4 litres of milk -- nearly a whole imnperial gallon in about fifteen minutes). It felt extraordinary; belly utterly swollen and gurgling; a kind of exquisite pain that doesn't feel ''dangerous'' at all. But I am quite worried that I will not be able to stop doing this, or that I might not be able to resist increasing the quantities I feel compelled to drink. Has anyone else experienced these compulsions?
So far so straightfoward. But later I found that I began to fantasise about drinking really huge amounts at once. I found myself staring at large (more than 4 litres) jugs of beer, milk, or water and imagining the effect that drinking them would have on me. While this was just fantasy there was no ''problem'', but of late I have found myself /compulsively/ acting out what used to be my fantasy. At random times of the day I fill a vessel with water or milk or lucozade, and start to imagine how it will feel to drink it all down; AND THEN I FIND MYSELF drinking it all down. (Tonight, for example, I drank 4 litres of milk -- nearly a whole imnperial gallon in about fifteen minutes). It felt extraordinary; belly utterly swollen and gurgling; a kind of exquisite pain that doesn't feel ''dangerous'' at all. But I am quite worried that I will not be able to stop doing this, or that I might not be able to resist increasing the quantities I feel compelled to drink. Has anyone else experienced these compulsions?
15 years