[24m] struggling with feederism and partner’s [24f] weight loss – need advice
(Why was the original Post deleted? The first thing i can see is Munchies' reply to it.)
With that aside, i am taken aback from what i see in this thread. The OP describes a case of coercion ("She also mentioned that other guys find her attractive") and nobody seems to have recognized it. Only Chubbyfoxgirl seems to get to it.
OP, by what you describe, your girlfriend is definitely a narcissist. She lacks the basic empathy that would prevent her from making these comments ("called my fetish “disgusting,” and said I’m “sick” for wanting her to be bigger") She is trying to shape you into something you are not, because you are an asset to her, she is using you to feel successful herself, with having a boyfriend, and the fact you are not exactly what she wants, for her, is a motivation for molding you however she fancies as opposed to her breaking up with you, at least on good terms. Then she would at least respect your humanity, but she doesn't care about that.
And even if she is sometimes sweet with you, that is also something that narcissists do. "Playing nice" is one of the most common techniques in their playbook. The fact she might sometimes be nice does not negate the harm of all this abuse she is doing to you.
The "other guys find her attractive" remark was no mistake. She is consciously threatening you! These kinds of remarks are never done accidentally.
Im not saying you are free of guilt, im simply recognizing all the above in her actions. Do you want to spend your life with someone that threatens you?
Please, break up with her and don't let her intervene in your life in any way. She will only cause more harm to you out of vengence!
And if this helps, please do your research on Narcissism! A good starting point is this:
With that aside, i am taken aback from what i see in this thread. The OP describes a case of coercion ("She also mentioned that other guys find her attractive") and nobody seems to have recognized it. Only Chubbyfoxgirl seems to get to it.
OP, by what you describe, your girlfriend is definitely a narcissist. She lacks the basic empathy that would prevent her from making these comments ("called my fetish “disgusting,” and said I’m “sick” for wanting her to be bigger") She is trying to shape you into something you are not, because you are an asset to her, she is using you to feel successful herself, with having a boyfriend, and the fact you are not exactly what she wants, for her, is a motivation for molding you however she fancies as opposed to her breaking up with you, at least on good terms. Then she would at least respect your humanity, but she doesn't care about that.
And even if she is sometimes sweet with you, that is also something that narcissists do. "Playing nice" is one of the most common techniques in their playbook. The fact she might sometimes be nice does not negate the harm of all this abuse she is doing to you.
The "other guys find her attractive" remark was no mistake. She is consciously threatening you! These kinds of remarks are never done accidentally.
Im not saying you are free of guilt, im simply recognizing all the above in her actions. Do you want to spend your life with someone that threatens you?
Please, break up with her and don't let her intervene in your life in any way. She will only cause more harm to you out of vengence!
And if this helps, please do your research on Narcissism! A good starting point is this:
4 weeks
