Primal23:
A few times seeing myself in a mirror or picture. But mostly when I put on clothes I haven't worn in a little bit and they either don't fit or are skin tight. Also when parts start to jiggle. From either running, while in the car, etc.
I finally built up the courage to start trying my old clothes and deciding whether I should keep them in my active wardrobe (still fits OK or a little tight but not noticeably so), put them in storage (too tight to wear at my current size but might fit again if I manage to lose a bit of weight.... which seems less and less likely as the months go by if I'm honest with myself) or sell/donate (not even close to fitting and no chance in hell it will ever again even if I lose a lot of weight... unless I have another anorexia relapse because the last time I lost 50% of my BW going from an XL to an XS).
The process is not fun for me, especially the tops as my breast/chest and upper arms ballooned in the last 2 years.
Some I can't even get on because my boobs are in the way or my arms can't get into the sleeves. This a top I adored I reluctantly had to put in the sell/donate pile.
I was surprised by a couple of pieces that I expected to not fit (as XS dress but the fabric is really stretchy and flowy so I put it in the "storage" pile) and other I expected to be very tight but not skin tight/not enough fabric to cover both my belly (which isn't that big really) and my butt (I definitely was in denial about how big it is).
I know maybe people here are into that, but I heard a few stitches get undone and one of my skirts' seam tore a little bit on the side (I'll need to repair it to sell it... I wish I wore it more often while it fit me, I'm jealous of the person who'll purchased it).
At least this didn't happen in a store dressing room! I'd be mortified and too ashamed to tell anyone so I'd just buy the item and leave the store. I wonder if there is a general store policy for that type of situations? Do you HAVE to pay for the damaged item?
I don't understand how I'm still gaining weight... This has been going on slowly but surely for the last 2 years. I think I'm almost as fat as before my anorexia relapse!
I went back to my endocrinologist who at last officially diagnosed me with PCOS (something I suspected for a very lot time as I have all the symptoms even if my labs and my ovaries are normal).
I told him I was outgrowing all my clothes (even the ones I bought only a few months ago) so he insisted to weight me because the last time I saw him apparently my BMI was still in the normal range. Like last time I go on the scale backwards and asked him not to tell me the number (I actually closed my eyes when he typed it on the keyboard).
I might be autistic, but from his facial expression I'm 100% sure my BMI is over 25 now... I just hope it's not already over 30. He advised me to lose some weight (!) to better manage the PCOS symptoms, especially the irregular periods. As if I'm not already trying...
True I indulge sometimes (I'm a sugar addict and end up bingeing on sweets if I deprive myself of cookies, pastries, ice cream, chocolate...) but overall I eat very little and mostly healthy foods (I reintroduced breaded chicken and sweet potato fries in my diet but rarely eat that).
For now he prescribed me metformin (but he told me not to expect more than a 2.5 kg weight loss from it) and spironolactone (for the androgenic symptoms). He wanted to prescribe me a contraceptive pill but I'm too afraid I'll gain even more weight on it.
To my surprise he was willing to prescribe me a GLP1 agonist (off label because my BMI isn't high enough... at least I don't think so?) but they're expensive, cause a lot of side effects, are not always effective and when they are you have to stay on them forever otherwise you'll gain back all the weight. I told him I'd rather wait for now but I'd be lying if I said I'm not considering the option.
