I was absolutely a fat kid, and I loved it. Recently, a memory resurfaced of my classmates piling onto the other side of a seesaw. It took three of them to lift me.

Now, if I somehow managed to get onto a seesaw, it would take multiple adults, if I didn't break it first with my weight, which is probably more likely.

Hahaha! Yes, my stomach is so heavy on my legs that I put pillows under it to ease the pressure, but now I've gotten so big, you can't see the pillows when they're tucked under my gut.

I don't know if it's a physical feat, but I can hide an entire bed pillow under mine with none of it showing!

This morning, we made a huge pan of hash browns (the frozen kind worked fine), fried with onions. That was topped with a whole pound of turkey sausage, scrambled up with a little garlic and basil, a pound of grated cheddar cheese, and four fried eggs, still runny inside. I ate 95 percent of it, while he had a small plate.

Because I'm a fat fatty, I also had bread grilling in butter, a huge bowl of fruit, and a chocolate banana smoothie, of course, but we both agreed our hash brown concoction was delicious!

I get an actual tingling sensation in my brain when I know I'm going to be stuffed, and I feel it right between the eyes and in my temples.

Conversely, when I get a full as I can possibly get, I can feel the area around my outtie belly button pulling, and I'm obsessed with that sensation.

There are plenty of physical challenges that go along with being fat, especially very very fat, in public.

By the time I hit 400, I had to be mindful of spaces and plan carefully. Does a restaurant only have booths? Is the seating arrangement spaced out enough I can get around without knocking into other diners? Is the Uber that's on the way easy enough to get in and out of?

After 500 lb, there were even more considerations. When my husband and I got married, I was right at 585. We had to plan out every aspect of our honeymoon, including bringing my own bariatric wheelchair to the airport because we knew even their largest chair wouldn't work for me. We bought additional plane seats for me, and I sat in the front row because of how much my stomach bulges out in front. I had my own seat belt extenders, because even the airlines extenders, available upon request, are not big enough to go around me. We ensured I would have a walk-in shower and requested bed reinforcement, which they were able to accommodate. I shipped my own bariatric shower chair ahead, so it would be waiting when we arrived.

Now, at 800 lb, travel would be impossible. I haven't left the house since the last 70 lb or so, because a) I have no clothing that covers me at the moment, and getting out of my front door is very painful. It's not impossible, but we have to manipulate my body and my fat in such a way I don't get injured. I also have to be mindful, if I were to go to a business like a restaurant, that I'd need to remain on my scooter. I don't trust other chairs, even two of them, to hold my weight. Moreover, I don't want to be injured in a fall. I have fallen in my home before (I was about 660), and firefighters had to help my husband get me up.

As far as the social aspect of being fat in public, I've always enjoyed the stares, particularly if I'm eating a big meal while fat. I wore bikinis on my honeymoon, and being gawked at was a turn-on for both my athletic, fit husband and me.

As I've gotten even bigger, people tend to look much less than they did 200 or 300 lb ago. It's almost like my size is so extreme, people avert their eyes, as though extreme obesity is contagious. I do catch children staring though, and I always make eye contact with them and give them a reassuring smile. Usually, they smile back. I think there's a lesson there that even people who look very different are people too.

One last observation... People tend to overestimate my age, particularly if my hair is pulled back. I have a youthful face, but it's very uncommon for a 31-year-old to have gotten this big and to need a mobility scooter. Unless I have my long hair down, fully styled, people often think I'm an older relative of my husband's.

I wanted to be fat since before kindergarten. I realized very young that if I ate a lot, my belly would bulge out. I had a proper pot belly by the time school started and became obese by fourth grade, despite my mother's best efforts. I remember gaining so much weight over the summer that all the kids were amazed by it on the first day of school. I couldn't fit in a regular desk and needed to sit at a table, and I could barely keep up in PE. I got poked in the belly a few times, which of course I loved. The teasing just served as motivation to get fatter.

At one point, my mother took me to the doctor for help losing weight. He suggested a diet, but it was no use. At one visit, I remember my mom being very upset because, instead of losing weight, I had put on 10 lb and hit 150 at 9 years old, outweighing her.