Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I wish you all the best life has to offer, as well as the health to enjoy it

Thank you! Very kind of you to say. I'm definitely not going to be a shrinking violet. I just have to manage my health a little better!

It isn't physically easy. I was accustomed to a lifestyle of extreme stuffing, and I've been obese for my entire adult life. I gained that amount of weight through massive stuffing, pushing my limits to extremes, and gorging almost daily until I was immobilized through food intake. I loved it, in many, many ways. At my maximum, 30,000 calories wasn't enough. Then 50,000 calories wasn't enough. I was eating so much, I stretched my stomach massively; my doctors say it 12 times the size of most people's. My other internal organs were even displaced because of extreme engorgement. And giant quantities didn't feel hard at all. My body just couldn't handle the consequences, but other people's experience could be different!

Thank you so much for your kindness! I very much still want to be fat. I just know I have to do it in a way that doesn't leave me sedentary and unable to take care of myself. I've said that a thousand times, and then reneged on it, but this experience made it very very real.

I'm feeling much better and healing all the way around. I did reject weight loss surgery... Though I have had some doctors who push it. I am a fat person. I always will be. Zero judgment Is directed at others in the decisions I have had to make for myself. I just want to avoid more scary emergencies or another dire health complication!

Hope you are well too!

Far from it, I think. My journey has been my own, and I think my husband would be very happy with me at at 120 lb, (not my goal at all to be clear) or 900 lb. I take full responsibility for my path, and I also don't regret it. I had a great time. I enjoyed the thrill of eating and the thrill of getting as big as I possibly could. So no, definitely not the community's fault! And for those people who enjoyed it along with me, good! I certainly had a great journey... And I still will. It will just have to look a little different.

I've written extensively about my journey to extreme obesity (917 pounds at my highest), rapid weight gain, and inner conflict between wanting mobility and feeling driven to days-long massive stuffings.

This was an extreme year for me. I gained 360+ pounds in six months, becoming too big to fit in a car, then too big to fit through doorways, and finally unable to walk. Ultimately, after consuming 300K calories over three days, I had an accident while trying to lift myself just enough so my husband could help with some hygiene needs. When my weight came back down on my bariatric recliner, the chair collapsed, and I fell on the floor. Because of the pressure in my abdomen, my belly button hernia ruptured and stretch marks split, leading to a medical emergency. I was extricated from my home after emergency workers removed our bay windows and taken to the hospital for surgery. The hospital experience was chaotic; medical facilities aren't built for a 900 lb body, and even bariatric equipment was insufficient. I ultimately spent a little more than a month there, finally coming home after some home modifications.

My recovery is ongoing, but I'm committed. I still am unable to get up by myself, but once I do, I can take a few steps with a walker, and I'm increasing my steps everyday. I'm also under strict medical supervision for some weight loss. In no way do I want to become thin, but it's apparent I need to get below 600 lb if I want to live more than a few years, which I do. My goal is around 580, which was my weight when I got married a couple of years ago and was still able to enjoy a honeymoon and most daily activities.

My husband has been an incredible partner, but I know this has been very very hard on him. I'm on FMLA from my job, and my full focus is recovery. He took some time off as well, but he is now back at work. A lot of caregiver strain falls on him when he's home. He has never once complained, and though he loves my obesity, he said his only goal is not to lose me.

Today, I'm around 780 lb. I've come a long way, but with relief from edema, liver, healing, and controlled calories --that kind of weight loss isn't uncommon for someone who started at my size. I'm able to travel by car now in our van, so I no longer need medical transport for my doctor's appointments. My skin has healed, and I have less body pain overall. I do struggle though, and I know that it would be very easy for me to slip back into extreme food addiction.

I'm not sharing this, by any means, to discourage anyone who is pursuing serious obesity. This is only my own story, as I have realigned my goals and prioritized staying alive and enjoying better health. I'm still very much a part of this community and still want to be quite fat. I just need to take a bit of my life back. Send up a good thought for me if you think of it!

A member here literally messaged me yesterday telling me I am the SSBBW he has waited for his whole life, he saw a vision that he would be with me, and when I marry him, he will buy me whatever I want if I squash him and his friends.

Absolutely wild to me, because clearly this person has no reading comprehension. I mentioned my husband all the time, in just about every post, and my profile clearly states I am happily married, not interested in a feeder, and only looking for a friendship and community. Reading is fundamental. So is the block function. 🤣

Completely understand this, and there are so many factors that make make everyone's journey different! I certainly can see gaining and becoming obese as an act of rebellion, particularly in oppressive, emotionally harmful households.

And I absolutely rebelled, in many ways. I don't think my weight was a manifestation of that... But honestly, maybe I'm wrong about that too. The human brain is complex.

Oh gosh, I was 6 years old when I first knew I wanted to get fatter, 9 when I started doing it intentionally with the explicit goal of weight gain, and in college when I started very hardcore stuffings. I didn't have a dorm mate during my first semester, and on Saturdays, I would eat until I was immobile and take pics of my belly as it got bigger and more bloated. I did have a brief period weight loss (hated every minute of it), but in the 6 years since then, I've been consistently gaining.

I think there certainly is a rebellious element in adopting an appearance incongruous with typical beauty standards. I think it's also brave to define beauty for yourself, rather than allowing society to dictate ideals.

That said, I definitely didn't get fat as an act of rebellion. I crossed over from being chubby to being properly obese in first grade, and though my mother was not happy, my hope wasn't to spite her. I just liked being plump, I had a large tummy, and when other kids commented it was getting bigger. I recall feeling motivated to grow even more. By the summer after third grade, I was fattening up by all means possible: snacking at friends house's, stashing treats in my bedroom, etc., and I was pleased with my progress. I weighed myself everyday and used a seamstress tape to measure my belly, which hit 40 inches in fourth grade. By high school, I was wearing a size 28 in US women's clothing. Family, friends' parents, even a couple of teacher's would suggest weight loss tactics, but these comments only made me want to grow more. This wasn't rebellion-- it was just affirmation that my efforts to be obese were paying off. I started stretching my stomach with liquid bloats so I could eat more and more. By graduation, the largest graduation gown I could order was so tight I couldn't zip it. Instead of feeling motivation to lose weight, I was very proud to cross the state with a fat gut bulging out of my gown.