This really resonates with me!

I think my interest in being submissive comes from years of feeling like I have to operate in what people might call “masculine energy”. Always being the one expected to step up, protect others at times, staying hyper-vigilant at work and in life - generally carrying a lot of responsibility without dropping the ball. I don’t often feel like I get to sit in my softer, more receptive side without having to anticipate what’s next.

For me, choosing to relinquish control in a safe, consensual dynamic isn’t about weakness or giving in. It’s more about the relief in having trust in someone enough to let them hold the structure for a while - to take on that protective, directive role in a way that feels fun, grounding, and mutually respectful. That space is where the biggest turn ons lie for me!

I think sub/dom dynamics are often misunderstood - reducing them to stereotypes about imbalance or power in a negative sense. But in reality, or at least how I view it, it’s deeply rooted in communication, consent, and attentiveness. Respecting each other’s boundaries, actively listening to each other’s needs and desires, and responding to them with care.

A lot of this kink is founded on it, at least for me.

Interesting scale, certainly more accurate than BMI!

Was a 7, am a 6 now. Still difficulties bending to pick things up due to being mostly belly which gets in the way. That also sits in my lap. Definitely have rolls regardless of what posture I’m in!

From personal experience, jobs that offer working from home. I gained so much, accidentally I might add (I wasn’t engaging in this whole thing at the time) must have gained 50lbs without blinking

It gets very easy when you start getting used to not moving as much, have your kitchen close by. Actually, for me - I was wearing baggier clothes as older ones started to feel tighter so wasn’t noticing the gain/in denial. If I’d been in previous roles where I’d have work my tight uniforms I’d have noticed those gains much quicker and adjusted my intake accordingly! If I had kept gaining when I was in that job as quickly as I did WFH I’d have gone through new uniform at a rate of knots 😂

When you aren’t commuting except from your bed to a chair that’s going to have an effect too

Was 44 this time last year but now 37 so class 3 to class 2

THIS! I think it’s a case of people being ignorant/dismissing what they don’t understand. As much as we can try and educate, people will always have their misgivings and prejudices.

The most important thing is self acceptance. That took me way too long. When you have that, the judgement of others tends to be water off a ducks back so to speak.

It sounds like you’re doing the work and are trying to do this in a healthy way. It is part of our identity and that’s perfectly fine! I hope you find the peace you deserve.

I completely relate to this thread! I don’t remember a time where I didn’t feel a certain way around fat & gaining. Same as with you guys, I stuffed my clothes with pillows as a kid, fascinated with & studying bigger bodies & in awe of the cartoon/willy wonka/matilda narratives around fat and gluttony

I let the shame get the better of me for too long. I didn’t realise how much it was negatively affecting me until recently where I’ve accepted this part of myself so much more. I love how it feels when I’ll make a sudden move that causes a ripple over my back rolls or a heavier bounce from a recent stuffing. Feeling the heaviness of my belly fighting against my thighs when standing up or particularly, walking up stairs - its impossible to ignore how aroused it makes me feel. It’s unsustainable to consistently shame yourself for feeling those things; several times a day, every day. Embracing them is a much healthier way to go mentally.

I’ve had to lose a bit of weight for health reasons (45lbs so far) but would probably have gained that rather than lost it if I’d had the chance! Especially with the headspace I’m in now and the support/encouragement I have around me. I am still fat, will always be fat - but the difference is this time I am going to enjoy wherever I am with my body in the best way possible, without shame & bringing myself down.

I actually thought until recently I wanted a harsher dynamic but I think as I’ve accepted this part of me more and realised I’m still learning what makes me tick after all this time, a softer dynamic is much more fulfilling

I put this into Chat GPT, the response is too long to post here but it’s worth you doing that to get an idea. I would give the stuffing a break for a few weeks to give your body time to reset.

One of the responses was - A protective response after extreme overeating history

If someone repeatedly eats far beyond normal physiological capacity (e.g., 5 kg), the body can eventually develop:
• A “shut-off” response
• Muscle guarding (tightening to prevent further distension)
• Anxiety as an automatic protective reflex

This can happen even before physical fullness, because the body becomes conditioned to avoid harm.

Hope this helps