Girls just aren’t into fat guys. even on a fat fetish site like this
Fatpeter:
What I was getting at was more of an observation really. I’m not just talking about myself. There are heaps of guys on here, you only have to look at there pics, posts etc and see how few views or comments they get, or how few followers they have. For women on the other hand it is completely different generally speaking. But I guess that’s pretty normal really? Not just in the fat community. I think I may of just answered my own dumb question🤦♀️
What I was getting at was more of an observation really. I’m not just talking about myself. There are heaps of guys on here, you only have to look at there pics, posts etc and see how few views or comments they get, or how few followers they have. For women on the other hand it is completely different generally speaking. But I guess that’s pretty normal really? Not just in the fat community. I think I may of just answered my own dumb question🤦♀️
There's a fun, counterintuitive mathematical reason for the large disparity between the number of likes/engagement girls and guys get.
Let's say there are 5 people on the entire site: 4 guys and 1 girl. Each person, for whatever reason, will only give 1 Like. We'll also assume that these people are all straight.
The guys all give their Likes to the 1 girl. The girl will pick 1 guy out of the 4 to give her Like.
On average, the guys all have 0.25 Likes each. The girls, on average, have 4 Likes each.
Thus in this dating pool with an unbalanced gender distribution, the smaller population has, on average, 16 times more Likes than the other population.
If the ratio of guys to girls were different, you'd just square it to find the disparity; 2 guys to 1 girl would be 2 Likes for girls and 0.5 Likes for guys, or 4 times more likes for the girls. A gender ratio of 3:1 would result in a Like ratio of 9:1.
A quick binary search for the number of profiles girls vs guys have on this site shows about 12,000 girls' accounts and 48,000 guys' accounts. Even if we say most of those are inactive, the ratio gives us an insight into the ratio of actual, active users; namely, 4 guys to 1 girl.
So if you see that girls have more than 10 times the number of likes, comments, etc. compared to guys, this is why. It's not entirely up to standards or taste or whatever other excuse or justification some men use to be toxic. It's just math. You want to find a connection? Show that you're worth being that 1 Like out of 4.
2 years
New feeder, advice?
Arden Feeder:
His goal is 600+, he wants to become immobile and fully dependent on someone, which is why the trust and safe space is such a big part of it. I think he find it both attractive and taboo, but I would say mostly because it is what he is attracted to and what helps him feel the most confident.
I'm not entirely sure why he doesn't like stuffing if I'm honest. He has mentioned it in passing that he didn't like it and he has not shared with me any more than that. I don't want to push him where he isn't comfortable so I haven't dug for answers on it.
I really do appreciate the kindness, I was not expecting anyone to reply so it means a lot to be able to share.
His goal is 600+, he wants to become immobile and fully dependent on someone, which is why the trust and safe space is such a big part of it. I think he find it both attractive and taboo, but I would say mostly because it is what he is attracted to and what helps him feel the most confident.
I'm not entirely sure why he doesn't like stuffing if I'm honest. He has mentioned it in passing that he didn't like it and he has not shared with me any more than that. I don't want to push him where he isn't comfortable so I haven't dug for answers on it.
I really do appreciate the kindness, I was not expecting anyone to reply so it means a lot to be able to share.
It's my pleasure to talk about the things that interest me hahaha.
For his goals, I don't have any advice for what you'll do when you get there, but you'll find lots of people sharing their experiences and lifestyle tips around extreme obesity. For now I'd encourage you to set attainable intermediate goals so that you both have something to celebrate on the journey to the point of his immobility. I'm going to assume that he isn't close to that point yet and the little victories help motivate long term growth like that. And make sure to regularly update his wardrobe; as fun as popping buttons can be, nothing puts a damper on gaining like restrictive, uncomfortable clothing.
As for not liking stuffing, if his goal is long-term weight gain then honestly it might not even be that big of a deal, assuming neither of you want to pursue it. Weight gain comes from habits, not occasional overindulgence, and stuffing to the point of discomfort isn't for everyone. Hopefully you do get to the point though where you're both comfortable talking about it with one another in depth; again, that'll just take time and practice communicating with one another.
Lol! Believe it or not, I'm usually at work during the bulk of my posting.
That makes two of us, haha!
2 years
Advice needed
Ditzy:
If she is doing other guys how is she your girlfriend?
Jsmjsm:
Simple, because we both agree on it.
If she is doing other guys how is she your girlfriend?
Jsmjsm:
Simple, because we both agree on it.
I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this, but I think you were in the right here, Jsmjsm. A relationship is more than just sex. And from your second post it sounds like this is something she initiated. I think it would be hasty to judge that you had convinced her into this as some of the other posts imply.
I'm going to proceed under the assumption that she wanted to try to have sex with this other man in the first place and that's why she brought it up, and in the end you enjoyed it more than either of you expected.
The fact that you were both communicative enough to negotiate this with mutual consent is a good sign for your relationship; it seems unlikely that your fear of losing her over this would come to fruition as long as you continue talking about these things in the future and respect each others' boundaries.
I will gently suggest another alternative to leaving cuckolding in fantasy only. There are many people who are in relationships with someone with whom they don't share every kink and fetish; there are plenty, like me, who are on this site because our partners don't have an interest in feederism but are supportive of us pursuing it in more than just fantasy.
ENM can allow people to explore those tastes. It seems you're already practicing it, at least a little, if you and she agreed on her having sex with another man. You can apply the same to cuckolding. Talk to her about your options for exploring this kink with people outside of your relationship if it turns out to be something you can't just leave in fantasy without distress.
2 years
New feeder, advice?
Arden Feeder:
Thank you so much for your kind reply. I really appreciate the advice. He has told me before that a safe space is important and I'm still learning how best to provide that for him.
I'm afraid he has definitely been bullied into not being himself in the past and I definitely want to be that safe space for him. I don't think he fully trusts me enough to open up yet (given his past and how his past partners/family has treated him about this, I can't really fault him for that).
I am still learning what I am enjoy about the community if I'm honest, I grew up fat with people who taught me to hate myself, so I am having to relearn a lot of things about myself. My main priority currently is wanting him to finally be able to be himself and to be able to have that safe space to do so.
Any other advice though is greatly appreciated, I feel like a fish out of water right now. But I can definitely make sure to give him all the love and appreciation that I can.
Thank you so much for your kind reply. I really appreciate the advice. He has told me before that a safe space is important and I'm still learning how best to provide that for him.
I'm afraid he has definitely been bullied into not being himself in the past and I definitely want to be that safe space for him. I don't think he fully trusts me enough to open up yet (given his past and how his past partners/family has treated him about this, I can't really fault him for that).
I am still learning what I am enjoy about the community if I'm honest, I grew up fat with people who taught me to hate myself, so I am having to relearn a lot of things about myself. My main priority currently is wanting him to finally be able to be himself and to be able to have that safe space to do so.
Any other advice though is greatly appreciated, I feel like a fish out of water right now. But I can definitely make sure to give him all the love and appreciation that I can.
The only other advice I can give is to take your time, then; I'm still a fledgling in a lot of ways myself, though I've been lurking for quite a while. The longer you stay in the community and explore what it has to offer and the different viewpoints and perspectives people have, the better you'll be able to articulate for yourself and your boyfriend how you want to pursue feederism. Likewise, it will take time to develop that mutual trust. You've both already gotten past the enormous hurdle of one of you coming out of the closet, as it were, on being interested in feederism; congratulate yourselves and look forward to taking each next step one at a time.
And don't hesitate to post any questions you have on specific things as they come up and talk with people who are experienced. (I'm surprised Munchies hasn't chimed in yet, as she gives good advice and is a pretty experienced feeder.)
I'll ask some questions here if you don't mind sharing on your and your boyfriend's behalf. Do you know what his goals are as a feedee? Any specific ones, like a target weight? General ones, like whether he pursues weight gain for the physical attractiveness or to pursue the excitement of taboo? You mentioned also that he isn't a big fan of stuffing. Is this something he wants to work on but feels ashamed to partake in?
2 years
New feeder, advice?
Arden Feeder:
I'm brand new to the community and I don't know much yet. I have looked through the forums here a bit, but I wanted to ask directly. My boyfriend has always know that he was a feedee, and I want to be a good feeder for him. I know he likes belly rubs, but he's not a big fan of stuffing yet. I was hoping I could get some advice on how to be a good feeder for him, I want him to trust that I can take care of him so he can focus on fattening up. Any advice is greatly appreciated!
I'm brand new to the community and I don't know much yet. I have looked through the forums here a bit, but I wanted to ask directly. My boyfriend has always know that he was a feedee, and I want to be a good feeder for him. I know he likes belly rubs, but he's not a big fan of stuffing yet. I was hoping I could get some advice on how to be a good feeder for him, I want him to trust that I can take care of him so he can focus on fattening up. Any advice is greatly appreciated!
Welcome to the community! I hope you find the answers you're looking for and that you enjoy your time exploring it all.
Ultimately the best authority on how to go through this are you two. There is no right or wrong way to be in a feedist relationship so long as you're both consenting and enjoying it. Talk to one another about what parts of this you enjoy, look forward to, and want to try out.
That said, it always helps to show your appreciation and love for him at all points through his journey. The stigma and judgment fat people face isn't trivial, and even people who enjoy humiliation for their weight gain can be vulnerable to insecurities, especially when their close friends and family are involved. Your main job as a feeder is to provide a safe space for your feedee to explore and express themselves.
And don't forget yourself and your desires in this arrangement. It's unclear from your post, but if you know there are certain aspects of feederism you enjoy, talk to your boyfriend about them and see if you can explore them together.
Bottom line is to stay safe, communicative, and consensual. And have fun!
2 years
Viewing convos with deleted accounts
Clicking on a conversation with a deleted account, which (as of a few months ago, at least) will not contain any messages to be seen anyway, will still count as one of your conversation views. Could this be changed?
2 years
What age did you discover you were into this
CookNFeedin:
Solid advice there. Talking to her is THE solution. That said, it's possible she's into this for her own kink, but I think the more likely cause for her being so quick to want to gain weight is the reason she was trying to lose it. If her only real reason for wanting to lose weight was just so she'd feel attractive, then this may be a bit of stress relief for her and she's just leaning into it. Either way talk to her clear the air, get motivation, and if this is something she really wants to pursue, remember informed consent is a thing. Make sure she knows what she's in for.
Yeahlikethat:
She defo wasn't looking to gain weight before, she wanted to lose it but as you said that was just to feel attractive (probably in instagram/ societies eyes). I would low key love it if this developed into a kink for her, but I doubt thats even possible and I dont want to force it.
The conversation has to happen, i'm quite an outgoing guy normally but when it comes to talking about this with her I kind of shrink haha. Thanks for your input, appreciated.
Solid advice there. Talking to her is THE solution. That said, it's possible she's into this for her own kink, but I think the more likely cause for her being so quick to want to gain weight is the reason she was trying to lose it. If her only real reason for wanting to lose weight was just so she'd feel attractive, then this may be a bit of stress relief for her and she's just leaning into it. Either way talk to her clear the air, get motivation, and if this is something she really wants to pursue, remember informed consent is a thing. Make sure she knows what she's in for.
Yeahlikethat:
She defo wasn't looking to gain weight before, she wanted to lose it but as you said that was just to feel attractive (probably in instagram/ societies eyes). I would low key love it if this developed into a kink for her, but I doubt thats even possible and I dont want to force it.
The conversation has to happen, i'm quite an outgoing guy normally but when it comes to talking about this with her I kind of shrink haha. Thanks for your input, appreciated.
Speaking from experience, communication is easier said than done, especially with people we care about. It can feel like we are putting everything on the line when we speak our minds and ask challenging questions, like one wrong word could bring our whole world down.
Just remember that love isn't just built around communication; it survives it and thrives from the challenges we pose each other by being vulnerable with one another. You say you mean a lot to her; so trust that your relationship will endure a wrong word or an awkward conversation and come out better for it in the end.
2 years
What age did you discover you were into this
Yeahlikethat:
Pretty much I mainly joined this website for advice. I get turned on by a girl gaining weight, doesnt have to be huge/ forced or anything just the idea of it. My girlfriend found out I was into this by going through my phone, she gets all kinda weird ideas in her head and now she said she wants to gain weight which just makes me feel guilty and generally I discorage it which makes her get confused and think I don't like her.
Thing is she wanted to lose weight when we met so the whole situation seems kind of backwards to me, if she actually wants to be in shape I don't want her to gain weight just for me (all be it though I would find it really hot).
I want to ask feedees if you all knew you wanted to gain weight since puberty type thing or did some of you genuinly have a complete mental switch during adulthood, if so was it because of a relationship or something else?
Pretty much I mainly joined this website for advice. I get turned on by a girl gaining weight, doesnt have to be huge/ forced or anything just the idea of it. My girlfriend found out I was into this by going through my phone, she gets all kinda weird ideas in her head and now she said she wants to gain weight which just makes me feel guilty and generally I discorage it which makes her get confused and think I don't like her.
Thing is she wanted to lose weight when we met so the whole situation seems kind of backwards to me, if she actually wants to be in shape I don't want her to gain weight just for me (all be it though I would find it really hot).
I want to ask feedees if you all knew you wanted to gain weight since puberty type thing or did some of you genuinly have a complete mental switch during adulthood, if so was it because of a relationship or something else?
I actually would like like to say I respect you a lot for wanting your girlfriend continue to pursue her goals independently from your tastes. I'm in a similar boat, but my partner isn't the type to be deterred from their weight loss journey just because they know I have this kink; as for myself, I am really excited about their recent and future weight loss because I know how much it means to them.
As for your situation, I would suggest having a conversation with your girlfriend, if you haven't already, about her desires.
Ask her how she would feel about having gained weight if you weren't in the picture. At least for me, it's important that a feedee or gainer wants to participate in the kink for themselves first and that I share and help them reach their goals rather than being the sole motivator for their participation. You should explain as much to her if you feel the same way as I.
Ask her what she's looking forward to by getting in shape versus gaining weight, and talk about what she would have to give up in each case.
And assure her that you would be attracted to her at any size, and that you value her goals more than you value getting off to a kink. Let her know that you discourage her changing her goals entirely based on your kinks because you love her for the person she is, not the person she could be.
2 years
Sugar or carbs
Ney:
As I know it sugar is a type of carbohydrates. So if you talk about sugar or carbs it's actually the same. Carbohydrates are the most unhealthy type of food and alosothe type of food which is not actually an essential for the human body. That's why you won't find any or only few high-carb diets. Most are high protein, cause it's the building material of the body, to say it simple. Fats are also important for survival, but some are more healthy than others.
So if you wanna be as healthy as possible possible keep some distance from carbohydrates.
In the end it's as simple as that: If you wanna gain, you have to be in a caloric surplus. You can calculate your body's daily intake for keeping the weight (just do some research) or you could track your calories every day for a week or so. That way you'll get a feeling for how much your body needs. Therefore you can use several apps (also here just do some reseach).
If you know your intake just reach it everyday and add more calories and you'll gain.
Munchies:
It's the other way around. Carbs are a type of sugar. There's two types of sugars: simple and complex.
Simple sugars are easy to absorb. This would be things like fruit or cane sugar. Complex sugars take more effort for the body to absorb and break things down. This would be things like starches or carbohydrates.
That being said, carbs are 100% necessary for the human body to function. It's just that people tend to eat way more carbs than they actually need to eat. For more information, check out this:
www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/161547
Also, most people these days eat a lot of refined carbs. These are carbs that have most of the nutritional value stripped from it. This is why you hear people say things like "eat whole wheat bread instead of white bread." Sure, white bread may taste better to most people. But whole wheat bread has numerous health benefits to it.
Of course, everything in moderation. Eating too much of anything will negate its health benefits.
PolyPinoyPuppy:
Agree with everything but the semantics; Ney was right. Sugars are water-soluble carbs.
To return to the topic, there is a lot of research linking excess carbohydrate consumption with the development of type 2 diabetes. As with all things, do your research and take steps to mitigate the risks you want to avoid.
Munchies:
www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/161547
Please read the first sentence.
As I know it sugar is a type of carbohydrates. So if you talk about sugar or carbs it's actually the same. Carbohydrates are the most unhealthy type of food and alosothe type of food which is not actually an essential for the human body. That's why you won't find any or only few high-carb diets. Most are high protein, cause it's the building material of the body, to say it simple. Fats are also important for survival, but some are more healthy than others.
So if you wanna be as healthy as possible possible keep some distance from carbohydrates.
In the end it's as simple as that: If you wanna gain, you have to be in a caloric surplus. You can calculate your body's daily intake for keeping the weight (just do some research) or you could track your calories every day for a week or so. That way you'll get a feeling for how much your body needs. Therefore you can use several apps (also here just do some reseach).
If you know your intake just reach it everyday and add more calories and you'll gain.
Munchies:
It's the other way around. Carbs are a type of sugar. There's two types of sugars: simple and complex.
Simple sugars are easy to absorb. This would be things like fruit or cane sugar. Complex sugars take more effort for the body to absorb and break things down. This would be things like starches or carbohydrates.
That being said, carbs are 100% necessary for the human body to function. It's just that people tend to eat way more carbs than they actually need to eat. For more information, check out this:
www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/161547
Also, most people these days eat a lot of refined carbs. These are carbs that have most of the nutritional value stripped from it. This is why you hear people say things like "eat whole wheat bread instead of white bread." Sure, white bread may taste better to most people. But whole wheat bread has numerous health benefits to it.
Of course, everything in moderation. Eating too much of anything will negate its health benefits.
PolyPinoyPuppy:
Agree with everything but the semantics; Ney was right. Sugars are water-soluble carbs.
To return to the topic, there is a lot of research linking excess carbohydrate consumption with the development of type 2 diabetes. As with all things, do your research and take steps to mitigate the risks you want to avoid.
Munchies:
www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/161547
Please read the first sentence.
Further into the article they state the following:
There are three main types of carbohydrates:
Sugars...
Starches...
Fiber...
Sugars...
Starches...
Fiber...
I believe the meaning of the first sentence in the article is that carbohydrates are one or more sugar molecules in a string, rather than that carbohydrates are a subset of sugar.
At least in biochemical terms, carbohydrates are synonymous with saccharides, subtypes of which are monosaccharides and disaccharides, both commonly referred to as sugars, and polysaccharides, strings of multiple sugar molecules and that include your starches and cellulose (dietary fiber).
2 years
