Saw one in Vegas about 10 years ago and it wasn't working.
Alot of FAs must have tried it before I got there

Have you looked into getting a (used) scooter?
My wife is abour 350# and has one(3 wheel). And I've been to event were gals your size have had 4 wheel ones. Used ones can be had for about 1/2 price if that is an issue.
We had a lift installed in our van (removed 3 of the removable seats), others have had a ramp of various sorts installed or placed in their vehicles.
Just a thought

I could hear some of it, but couldn't see any of it.
(I was using Realplayer)

I forgot they also have panties for men too

Mine are a 42b last I measured, maybe a 42B now

It's your tender skin trying to push out of the gaps in the nylons. Try putting powder on them or a piece of silky cloth to keep them from chaffing. (it's putting tender skin on a grater, cutting it up)

Trading places with a bottom heavy SSBBW & then having her get me pregnant

Too bad they don't have RolePlaying for that here