Fantasy Feeder

Regretting the gains

Morbidly A Beast:
It seems like everyone gets to goals and they just seem to blow past em like I get it be careful don’t go to crazy… I just don’t understand from my perspective at least I will be fat and always will be fat now I don’t know how you can come to regret gaining weight did you regret eating all the food that got you to this weight?

I have no experience with gay feeders at all let alone straight female ones but to me it’s like what came first chicken or the egg situations if this post didn’t make sense sorry

FatFalcon:
I’m actually wanting to gain. The problem is though is that I get discouraged. Here’s some examples.

1. My goal is 300-350lbs weight wise. I’m in the middle weight wise as skinny fat. Having a partner would make up for that

2. I’m not big enough or muscular or fat enough.

3. I’m in the middle of eating and I get a message from a guy on Grommr that constantly annoyed me most of the time and it got so bad that I just stopped talking to him altogether because he was ranting about ice cream throughout the entire conversation while I’m eating snack cakes. Especially Little Debbie snack cakes.

Like seriously it’s really off putting when trying to eat and someone is trying too push you to buy ice cream. I would buy some the next time I go to the store.

Then the rant was over scales because I haven’t weighed myself yet. I explained that I don’t have scales yet to weigh myself and he was ranting about that. And the last time I weighed myself was in February of this year I was 190lbs

So I’m thinking about gaining and seeing how much weight I am pushing for. I may have to go it alone.

Lemme guess. While he was pushing you to get ice cream, he expected you to buy it on your own dime too.

I understand that there's a whole debate on whether or not a feeder should pay, but I believe that if a feeder is making a specific food request that the feedee doesn't have, then they should be willing to foot the bill.

I know I do it when I want my partner to eat something specific.

That aside, don't be afraid to block people who don't respect your boundaries. Your mental health will thank you for it. This guy sounds controlling. There's a difference between being a dom and being a manipulative, controlling ass. Sounds like Grommer guy is the second one.

7 months

Munchies

Gaining weight as an incredibly thin person

Johnxyz:
You can try to gain weight, but be aware that weight is far more complicated than calories in and calories out. Some fat people were never meant to be thin, and some thin people were never meant to be fat. The body's regulating system tries very hard to keep things as they are. Also, some thin or normal people who finally break through and start gaining cannot stop. Some people just wanted to gain 50 pounds ended up close to 600 pounds and still gaining. So, be careful what you wish for.

Eh, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Sure, the things you discussed are real, but most people are fine. It sounds like OP has a high metabolism. He's 25, 5'10", and 135 lbs. He needs to eat a lot just to maintain his current weight - forget about gaining. This is not to say he can't gain weight, but it will be harder for him.

That said, he's approaching 30, when most people's metabolism starts slowing down. So we shall see what happens then.

7 months

Munchies

Regretting the gains

Morbidly A Beast:
It seems like everyone gets to goals and they just seem to blow past em like I get it be careful don’t go to crazy… I just don’t understand from my perspective at least I will be fat and always will be fat now I don’t know how you can come to regret gaining weight did you regret eating all the food that got you to this weight?

I have no experience with gay feeders at all let alone straight female ones but to me it’s like what came first chicken or the egg situations if this post didn’t make sense sorry

Eh. That's not quite true about the limits. Don't get me wrong; it's not unusual to adjust your goals. However, many people have hard limits. Often, these hard limits are due to health, comfort, or aesthetics.

I'm an ex-gainer. I started out at 115 lbs with a goal weight of 140 lbs. Once I got there, I bumped it up to 150, then 160, and finally 200 lbs as my hard limit. But along the way I realized I liked being muscular more than fat and completely lost interest in gaining.

A good chunk of gainers and feedees don't want to be 300, 400+. A lot of them want to be chubby or "small fat". They have a hard limit and stick to it.

It's also not unheard of to regret your gains. If you talk to enough feedists on here, you'll understand why. Common scenarios I've seen include:

Not doing the work to undo your internalized fatphobia (common with the fit-to-fat or thin-to fat crowd)

Realizing you prefer fantasy to reality

Gaining recklessly (common with those that develop health issues or have no lives outside of feedism)

Gaining to please a partner without being into the fetish yourself

Mind you that this isn't a comprehensive list. There are a thousand and one different reasons why someone might regret getting fat. Honestly, the main reason why I'm so active in the forums is to help minimize that regret for others.

7 months

Munchies

Regretting the gains

FatFalcon:
Well the guy that I was talking with wants me to be 500lbs but my goal weight is 300lbs. So I want to just not do it because my health is more important and I feel like that is where the one sided conversation comes in. I don’t want to risk my health beyond 300lbs. Yeah I want to be happy with someone who will make me happy. That’s why I am thinking about backing away from gaining.

I want to feel more at ease with gaining but not be told to gain more than what I want I am accustomed to,

Do whatever makes you happiest. If you have a hard limit, then a feeder worth their salt would respect that.

It seems you haven't met a feeder worth their salt yet. I'm sorry that this has been your experience.

Either way, I wish you the best of success in all of your endeavors.

7 months

Munchies

Going on a cruise to stuff ourselves all day

Wifestuffer:
My fat wife really wants to sail on a cruise line. She's proud and confident in her huge body, knows I want to fatten her as much as possible, loves food travel and culture (used to be a travel agent!)

Her wattling to the pool in a skimpy bikini getting swallowed in all her rolls of blubber, eating so much she gets exhausted from the effort of gorging herself, and studying culture all the while.

That's interesting. I wouldn't think she'd risk getting stopped because someone thinks she's naked, especially since she's Japanese.

7 months

Munchies

Out of food

ChubbyGainer77:
I'm struggling hard rn. No money for groceries and idk what to do

Munchies:
Do you have employment?

ChubbyGainer77:
Not rn. Just recently lost my job and it's been rough getting any response on my apps.

Do you have unemployment?

7 months

Munchies

Out of food

ChubbyGainer77:
I'm struggling hard rn. No money for groceries and idk what to do

Do you have employment?

7 months

Munchies

Playful comments about your size

My partner said this about himself.

He had wavy hair. I love the texture, but he doesn't. He prefers to keep it short so it doesn't get too poofy.

One day, I said to him, "It's a shame that you get a hair cut right went your hair is getting wavy."

His reply? "My body is already wavy enough. I don't need my hair to be wavy too."

7 months

Munchies

Regretting the gains

FatFalcon:
So I am definitely going to have to check out FetLife eventually. But so far my experience so far has been downright abysmal. I have had two guys trying to make my stomach a punching bag. It’s infuriating trying to find someone decent to talk with without being one sided. Grommr makes me feel like I should even pursue gaining altogether.

I’m at the point of just giving up gaining all together but I feel like it’s a burden doing it alone and for yourself. It’s really depressing when you can’t even find someone who is gay that’s actually into this.

I imagine your experiences as a gay feedee with gay feeders to be comprable to any woman with straight feeders. You have my condolances.

They're not all garbo, but it's hard to find those that aren't.

If you wanna stop gaining because of all this, then more power to you. I just think it's a shame because getting fat is something you love.

7 months

Munchies