My husband is prediabetic

Anjou:
I mean he has certainly been much more sexual with me in the last year as I went on ozempic and literally weigh less than I did in the first grade. Did he not like chubby me?


AskDrFeeder:
I don't know, but I do know some men get off of the change, whether it's a gain or a loss.

Anjou:
Ngl, I love it too. Just my insecurity of a girl who was chubby/fat her whole life


For what it's worth, I've seen pics of you both chubby and thin. You were equally pretty at both sizes.
8 months
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Munchies

My husband is prediabetic

Anjou:
I am a fucking mess. I love him. Help. I suck at words. I am a dancer, I express myself though that.
But I am fucking spinning. I caused this. I encouraged this.

Munchies:
I know what you are going through because I went through something similar.

First thing you gotta understand is that this is not your fault. You tried to keep him safe. He didn't listen to you. And now we have the consequences of his actions.

Not your acts.

His.

Now that we have established this, we can talk solutions.

Put your foot down. Don't yell at him, but be very blunt about your feelings. Tell him your concerns and worries.

And most importantly, there needs to be some kind of consequence. I know you've told him your concerns in the past, so just telling him will not do anything. He is, unfortunately, addicted to gaining at this point. So the best thing you can do is step back. I will leave the degree up to you. You know your husband better than I. But you need to step back from engaging in kink with him so he can understand he needs to shape up.

I wish you well, love.

Anjou:
Thanks Munchies
We had a talk last night. Long story short, we are going to find a couples therapist as well As get him one himself.
The obsession with this kink is really just the last manifestation of his all or nothing thinking.
Hell, last night he told me that when he was a bodybuilder 20 years ago, long before we meant, he used to inject insulin (had no idea bb did this) and rattled off the names of shit that he took to gain muscle.
I know he took bb up to help him get off alcohol (we meant in aa). So, yeah he has addiction issues lol. He is also autistic so the all or nothing thinking is really part of asd I have learned.
So that is where we are. I do think he cares about his health. And I myself am no stranger to addiction, 10 years sober.
So that is where we are


Ah, the good old autistic all or nothing mentality. I am very familiar. My mom worked so hard to get me to understand the concept of nuance.

God bless her soul, but I have no idea how she put up with me back then.

Good news is that he is open to making things work with both you and his personal wellbeing. If he was able to kick his other habits, then I have hope he can kick this. And maybe, in therapy, he can address the root of his addictive personality.

I think you two will be okay.
8 months
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Munchies

My husband is prediabetic

I also want to add that he probably liked it when you were chubby. But now that he's the fat one, he gets off on contrast.

It's pretty common, actually.
8 months
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Munchies

Drinking heavy cream

SumoSized:
Holy hell that's insane, I can see why that would scare people away from gaining more. Do you have a recommended speed for gaining , like eat X amount of calories above your metabolic rate per day to gain healthily, or is it dependent per person?


Doctors recommend those who are gaining weight to shoot for 1 to 2 lbs a week. This comes out to 52 - 104 lbs a year.

Most people will not be able to achieve such consistent gaining - especially as they grow heavier. Some might even need to tap out or slow down after some point as well.

Honestly, it's best to gain to your comfort. When you start having complications, that's a good sign to slow down or even take a gaining break. A lot of gainers/feedees will ignore their body's warning signals because they want to be super fat ASAP. However, this short-sided behavior is a good way to end up abandoning your fattening journey and losing the weight later.
8 months
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Munchies

My husband is prediabetic

Anjou:
I am a fucking mess. I love him. Help. I suck at words. I am a dancer, I express myself though that.
But I am fucking spinning. I caused this. I encouraged this.


I know what you are going through because I went through something similar.

First thing you gotta understand is that this is not your fault. You tried to keep him safe. He didn't listen to you. And now we have the consequences of his actions.

Not your acts.

His.

Now that we have established this, we can talk solutions.

Put your foot down. Don't yell at him, but be very blunt about your feelings. Tell him your concerns and worries.

And most importantly, there needs to be some kind of consequence. I know you've told him your concerns in the past, so just telling him will not do anything. He is, unfortunately, addicted to gaining at this point. So the best thing you can do is step back. I will leave the degree up to you. You know your husband better than I. But you need to step back from engaging in kink with him so he can understand he needs to shape up.

I wish you well, love.
8 months
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Munchies

Drinking heavy cream

Munchies:
This is purely anecdotal, so take this next part with a grain of salt. I've noticed that when gainers or feedees push themselves to gain as much as possible, their bodies start to have issues around the two-week to one-month mark. I am not sure why that is, but I've seen it a lot.

SumoSized:
Issues like what? My gain has been rather slow so I don't think this applies to me but I'm still curious


Indigestion, bloating, loose stools, fatigue, brain fog, joint pain from gaining too fast, and high blood pressure are the more common one I've noticed.

Also, it's not really good to have elevated blood triglycerides for extended periods of time.
8 months
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Munchies

Coworker getting fat

Anjou:
I would be lying to say I didn’t bake the whole office cookies without certain thoughts of someone getting too fat for their suit

Munchies:
Husband wife shenanigans.

Anjou:
Maybe. But...in my defense...,I think everyone one looks better with a roll, or two, or ten, of lush fat fat around their middle...
Surely Munchies, being the good Sourthern woman that you are, have fed your coworkers?


I am not a good representative for that. You see, despite my general demeanor, I look a lot younger than I actually am. This leads me to often being seen as a work daughter. So they keep feeding me.

I've gone home with bags of snacks more than once.
8 months
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Munchies

Coworker getting fat

Anjou:
I would be lying to say I didn’t bake the whole office cookies without certain thoughts of someone getting too fat for their suit


Husband wife shenanigans.
8 months
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Munchies

Coworker getting fat

Anjou:
As someone who meant the love of her life at work, as well as having worked in HR in the past, it really depends what you mean by “flirting”?


Plus it's not as simple as getting enthusiastic consent. There's power dynamics and conflicts of interest to keep in mind too.

So while there are ways to make it work, it is a very careful game you have to play. You have to keep everything above board as it can impact both of your career paths. It can determine which departments you can work in, what promotions you get, or what teams you work on. I've seen some jobs that make you sign paperwork when it gets serious.

And don't even get me started on the potential fall out if it doesn't work out.

This isn't any shade towards you, Anjou. You and your husband seem to have a lovely relationship. But as a fellow former HR rep, I'm sure you have seen more failures than successes.
8 months
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Munchies

Weight gain’s affect on your voice

Purplepig1515:
Hey all! I’m curious to know about anyone’s experiences with weight gain affecting their voice over time. I know gaining around your throat and neck can definitely affect that and I assume the voice would become more breathy too in many cases.

I’m planning on doing a role play over the phone and I’d like to realistically emulate voice changes over time so any experiences you have had with this would help.


Your average fat person doesn't sound different from your average thin person. And it is next to impossible to tell a person's size over the phone.

Some people may develop respiratory issues, but this is not guaranteed. Most of the highly obese people I know in life do not sound any different unless they've been moving around.
8 months
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Munchies
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