The doctors want to hurt and embarass their patients as much as they can. Especially the obesity researchers who get more grant money, the worse they can make it sound. They are also using the term "malignantly obese."

There are such fine lines, it would be impossible to know. When someone overeats knowing they will gain weight, are they gaining weight on purpose? When a parent tells a child to finish his plate, are they feeders? When someone offers someone a candy bar, are they a feeder? If someone encourages someone who is 105 pounds to gain to 115, are they feeders? Is a man who fattens a woman "so that no one else would want her," a feeder?

Going back, I think it was a woman named Betsy who first came out in the open and declared she wanted to become obese on purpose. I think Kellygirl made it very popular.

For those of you who are old enough to imagine life before the Internet, there really was no way for people with unusual and secretive interests to contact like minded people. So those who had the interest to gain on purpose or help someone gain on purpose, didn't even know that there were others who shared that interest.

I also meant to say that exercise is good. But exercise should be for the sake of being healthy, not for the sake of losing weight. Just like eating healthy is good, but should not be for the sake of losing weight.

What does not make sense is the notion of "losing weight for your health." Since only about 5% of the people keep the weight off, and probably 60% regain more than what they started with, someone who diets has a 5% chance of being smaller, a 35% chance of being the same, and 60% chance of being bigger.

Now, if someone has high sugar, avoid sugar. If you have high cholesterol, then avoid fats. If someone has HBP avoid salt.

Dieting is an obsessive-compulsive behavior. And studies show that yoyo dieting is more unhealthy than being fat.

I guess the hardest thing to understand is when people say that diets don't work when you diet to please your SO or parents, but then think it works for "your health." A diet is a diet, no matter the purpose.

And because diets don't work, changing the name of a diet to anything else, including "lifestyle change," won't make a difference. Any change in eating to lose weight is a diet, no matter what you call it.

And since being large has a number of causes, including mediicine side effects, hormonal changes, genetics, etc., eating less will not change those factors.

You know the answer. She was wrong to do those things. Write her off, and keep looking. Good luck.

I love to hear about women who are not pregnant who are wearing maternity clothes. Are there any others here?