It might. Would be better if it was in another abuse report, so all the moderators can see it.

Moving this to the Chat/Role play board.

Ugh, I hate catfish. Good thing I don't live in Louisiana.

For future reference, we'd appreciate if these details can be included in abuse reports.

Unfortunately, since it's often a matter of he said/she said, or one person who just wants to cause grief after an argument or something, it may not always be possible to take action on that single report alone. But when there's multiple reports about someone, odds are they aren't all wrong. We try to remove catfish quickly, in as fair a manner as possible.

Remember, in reports the more details the better. If others had the same experience and also file abuse reports, even better.

This thread doesn't read like a Personals Ad, so I'm moving it to General.

Not really sure if I can offer good advice. If you really can't find some sort of compromise, it might very well be irreconcilable differences. No one reasonable expects both members of the couple to be an exact mirror image of each other, but well.. ever heard the phrase "death by a thousand cuts?" Or, "the straw that broke the camel's back?" The vibe I get is this is something that might fester over time.

I'm going to assume you aren't interested in things like an open relationship. Most folks aren't, likely even fewer still can really handle that. It's just as likely doing that could result in the deterioration of the relationship.

It could be unhappy, and there can be a trajectory that won't correct itself on it's own.

As an example, my parents have been married for decades. I know, doesn't seem as common these days. My father is not particularly religious. My mother is, though not extremely so. She volunteers a lot at her church, but doesn't think she's going to hell if she misses a service every now and then.

Either way, neither consider divorce an option. They argue with alarming frequency and I cringe at the thought of holiday meetings or road trips together. He's intelligent and intellectual but kind of absent minded. She's more detail oriented and is the only one who really does house chores. He has tried to help, but it never seems quite good enough. So either he just doesn't do it at all, or waits until she's out of the house. He snores, she's a light sleeper. He has a broad, top-down worldly view and is interested in broad concepts like politics, history, and math, and understands the world isn't a fair place. She's more interested in inter-personal relationships and despite her age, seems to continue having a certain naivete and certain romantic dreams that are impractical.

I do love them both, but they are as different as night and day. They haven't slept together in the same room in many years, and basically don't do it anymore. He watches porn alone, she just does without.

To be fair, both of them could have done far, far worse. But I hate that paradigm and mentality of "it could always be worse" and "it is what it is." That only justifies mediocrity, "satisficing" (portmanteau of satisfy and suffice, a very sub-optimal outcome), or if the overall situation (in anything) is ever so slightly worse than it was before.

I could be wrong, but I expect most couples would have likely seriously considered divorce by now, and would likely result in divorce on good terms.

Either way, I'm about 99% sure you don't want an outcome like this.

It's true marriage rates in America, and so far as I can tell, most of the western world are lower than they used to be before, and occurring later in life. But know what else is going on? The marriages that do form tend to have higher rates of satisfaction.

I've also found that sure, while people can change, they also really don't.. at least not after age 16, 18 or so. One's sense of right and wrong, personality traits, agreeableness, willingness to compromise, friendliness, etc. are largely fixed and static by that point.

If you can't find some way to reach compromise soon, I don't expect that to be possible 5 years from now.

Just watch any episode of Hoarders.

Can't say I ever have; can't imagine it's all that appetizing. Unsalted butter? When you say "along with sugar" do you mean you ate something sweet like cake or pastries? Or sprinkle sugar on the stick of butter?

It'll also be a LOT of dairy fat at once so you'd have to time that just right. So that's probably a terrible thing to eat if you also had a big pasta dish with a lot of cheese, or pizza, or plan to have ice cream, or so I would think. At least for me there seems to be. Maybe it's something one can get used to, I don't know.

That said, I still remember this video and I'm kind of jealous of this lady. If you look closely it's a half stick of butter but I wish I could do that. Just imagine the shock value that would cause too.

At that point, it sounds like you're basically eating only one meal a day... from when you wake to when you sleep!

Cost issues aside, though certainly a problem for a number of us, what about time problems? The average American, and average Englishman.. probably just the average person, can't sit down for a proper meal that many times in a day. If you have a desk job that's not extremely heavy on phone use, you could probably snack. Telecommute, same thing.

I don't know.. this doesn't seem like a practical option for most folks, even without financial constraint. Not when that will interfere with a full-time job.

I like to keep some old clothes as a nice reminder if I ever feel like I haven't made much progress, though hardly an entire closet full of them, since that'd be a waste of space, particularly if small enough to know it's really unlikely I'll ever be that thin again.

That and I sort of have a dream of one day making buttons burst off a shirt that's way too small. It'd be a waste to buy something just for that, since it'd never be appropriate any other time.

For the rest of them.. that is, things that don't fit...

If they're in good or fair condition:

- If classic/timeless, or only somewhat tacky (I no longer buy anything very tacky, I'm very careful about this), I'll take them to Goodwill or another non-profit thrift store, or if worthwhile, I might try to sell first on E-bay or something. Alternatively, if I know there's someone in need.

- If horrendously tacky - either rags or the trash. I'm not subjecting someone else to that treatment. Not that I ever buy that anymore.

- If underwear, rags only. Even if it's legal to sell or give away, that seems gross and wrong somehow. I wouldn't be surprised if that's illegal in some jurisdictions, because of contact with other bodily fluids and the risk of transmitting disease. Hospitals face very strict regulations regarding the disposal of biomedical waste.

If in bad condition, rags only, or the trash if I can't even use them as rags anymore.

If you engage in something dirty or messy like gardening, it may be worth it not to cut up the "rags" clothes. Since you don't care, you don't mind if they get dirty and messy.


To avoid this problem, it's important to be strategic with any kind of clothes purchases.

- Consider buying a size up. In fact, the heavier you are, it seems the more flexibility you might have with this. For undershirts, you might be able to go 2 sizes.
- No holiday themed clothes, ever. Or at most, a tie. If you want to be holiday themed, pins are a great choice for this. Or just use the holiday colors. For example, a tie that's red with green stripes doesn't waste too much space, and you can combine and layer a red and green pocket square to create the contrast to use with a suit.
- Hat size is unlikely to change much, so something like a Santa cap should be fine.
- No Halloween costumes unless you can make them out of regular clothes with minimal to no modification.
- No longer are you limited to sweats or gym clothes for stretchy. Even jeans, regular trousers, shorts, etc. often come in versions with some stretch.
- Try to only buy clothes that are more universal; the more universal for more combinations, or appropriate in more occasions, the better.
- Be careful to buy only small quantities. The worst is an unopened, unused shirt that no longer fits, particularly because there's almost no chance you can sell it for what you paid for it, even if it's not tacky and ugly.

Following up to the earlier post I would have made.

About 178 lbs, if basically bone dry. That was an increase of only about 10 lbs over the year. Not gonna lie.. I'm disappointed it wasn't more. Although, most of that gain was around the holidays when I discovered a strategy that seems to work for me for now. Now the trick is to see if I can stick with it.

The kinds of schedules I sometimes face make this a challenge, unfortunately.