That’s just the sort of shit I could get up to if I drink enough in public. One night in my twenties when my friends and I were out at a bar and I’d had more than enough to drink, I hit it off with a bouncer who... well, his physique is what “bouncer” really should describe. I didn’t outright ask “can I touch your belly?” But he invited me to hug him and I complimented him on how very soft he was. I made it clear that it was a compliment and we were very much on the same page; and oh, how naughty it felt to be flirting like that among friends and strangers and not give a fuck if it left any of them confused.

🙋‍♀️ Progress pics are great!!

I adore the thought of conditioning someone into experiencing this regularly, or experiencing it yourself. It sure must make going to restaurants an interesting time! 😜

😳 *bowing down* we’re not worthy!!

INTERNATIONAL CHOCOLATE DAY???? *cue gif of Spongebob character going “CHOOOOOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE”*

I love all forms of chocolate. I’ve never met a form of chocolate I’d say no to. Mousse might be my favorite

And just in case no one has told you this: you are valid, your struggle is valid, and you can find a solution if you keep looking for/fighting for the balance between the forces in your life.

If I throw my hat in the ring, I would suggest trying to find that balance between working hard at school and giving yourself the “release” of indulging in your kink. I don’t think they have to be mutually exclusive, although the balance might be hard to strike where you are.
I think it’s unhealthy to suppress your sexuality (which, as someone who used to be super religious and went to a super religious college, been there done that lmao) but it’s also unhealthy to give up trying in school, obviously. Just as an example in looking for compromise (and this may not apply for you): is there any way in school that you push yourself the “extra mile” that might be adding on a considerable amount of extra stress, that could be afforded to be cut out without sacrificing something major? And in conjunction with that, can you put a little more structure into your time spent “indulging”? Perhaps you like to bloat, etc whenever the spirit moves you, and then before you know it you’ve wasted the time you needed to write that paper. Can you build something of a schedule around it; like “I will do as I please after 7 pm on Friday and Saturday nights but my other evenings are for spending time on school work/with friends”? Is that realistic? As a college kid I found making a rigorous schedule for myself to be useful. (Although in all fairness I wasn’t wrestling with kink things this strongly at the time, because again, sexual repression and all that fun stuff).

You are a good, hard worker and a person with a particular kink. Balancing them is going to be a challenge for you; sometimes you will do great at it, and sometimes you will slip up. Try to give yourself some grace in telling yourself “I’m doing my best”, and that “best” can look different on different days. Some days your best will be at 100%, some days it will be 125%, some days it will be at 65%.

Now your family will probably eventually settle into accepting that they can’t change you esp as old as you are. As for your girlfriend, do *not* try to force participating in any of this on her if she’s not comfortable with it. (Both of you need to show equal respect for each other’s feelings!) Provided that no one is pressuring the other like that, if you two want to stay together she will also eventually have to accept this about you, and it just stays separate from your intimate time with her. Perhaps compromise here is possible too- does she have a kink that you don’t share with her? If you’re both agreeable to it, “exchanging” helping the other indulge in their kinks can be a warm way to show you care. If she’s intolerant of even knowing that about you... that outlook is pretty grim. But it doesn’t mean that you won’t find anyone into that stuff in the future (or someone who at least accepts it, which is the case with me and my partner); that’s why websites like this exist after all. If things don’t work out for you, you aren’t alone.

But the thing I really would ask you to consider is seeing if you can talk with a psychologist. Your school should have counselors; or there are conventional therapists; or even apps like BetterHelp, that have that added layer of anonymity that the Internet provides. And you can ask for someone who specializes in confusion over sexuality.

As someone who’s not exactly into the athletic-to-fat kink, I’m curious: what’s y’all’s take on those trainers who get fat and then back to fit with their clients?

I love this thread.

Hehehe no problem!