Well everyone it seems that my own confidence has taken a bit of a hit.

I have recently watched the “Fit vs. Fat” women edition of Middle Ground by Jubilee on YouTube.

youtu.be/u4gEBRSKi2E

While I did though that it was a pretty decent conversation and it was something that I mostly agreed with what was being discussed, not to mention it gave me that sense of delight how both sides agreed on certain topics. But the comment section though… quite the opposite.

Now this isn’t the first time nor the last that I have seen this before, especially in a Jubilee video when they talk about fat people. But this time it really ended up ruining the whole mood for me with people commenting about how “blind” and “delusional” the people on the panel were, plus the good old “obese is unhealthy” comment that everyone familiar with by now. And of course there was people saying that too many people were making up “excuses” especially for saying how they used to think like so when they were fat. Oh, and I think a lot of people know that the hardest critic of fat people are those who used to be so… or most of the time.

Now yes there were some positive comments (or at least ones with a bit of nuance) of that video. But let me tell you at least 89% of them had a bit of a negative tone to them.

Even I tried to put in a well thought comment on it. Here’s actually what I said:

—

“Now I’ve said something similar to the one where they had with men… but one thing that I’ve learned from watching this (and that) video and from personal experiences, no body is ever alike nor perfect. Sure health stuff does matter, but it should only be taken for personal reasonings not for anyone else outside of the matter.

I know many people have questioned body positivity in recent times, but there’s one thing that I’ve always stayed loyal to. Is that body positivity is choosing positivity and to learn to be grateful of your own skin and flaws. And whether or not if I wanted to change… I’m still thankful that my features are what make me, myself! ❤️ Now I do acknowledge that there’s nothing wrong with losing weight, but it’s ALSO nothing wrong with being okay with yourself without changing yourself physically. After all self acceptance is just as important as self improvement! There’s a fine line between losing weight for looking after your wellbeing versus keeping up with social beauty standards.”

—

As of right now it currently has about 25 likes (last time I checked). But compared with all the other comments that I have seen that had hundreds and thousands of likes, especially from the formerly fat people who have commented… I was like “How do you compete with that!” and I just completely exhausted myself mentally from seeing all of that.

Now I’m not trying to get myself feel validated, not at all. It’s more about getting my message out there hopefully to find some nuance or something like that. I do acknowledge that not every comment in that video is considered a hate comment when they are really being more critically truthful.

Either way it made me feel small and not really good about myself. Maybe it’s because I care too much, maybe it’s because of me liking bigger women I worry that one day I’ll face a reality that they won’t exist anymore or be banished from society. Or perhaps it’s a reminder that people like me belong under a rock.

Now I apologize if this was a long post. But I do have a lot to say about it. 😅 I know that it also sounds a little downbeat but I think it’s because well it is a pretty deep topic. I bet the comments of this thread is gonna be interesting! I will always like bigger women and I will try to bring some of that kind of nuance to be an ally to plus size women. But in today’s social climate, it’s getting difficult!

Anyways thanks for coming to my TED talk.

As an FA and from my experience with the meetings and dating. I actually like both, but to answer your question I think I like the feeling the belly of someone who had bloated/inflated themselves. Even if it’s just them using their own breath to make their belly look more round… sometimes about the tightness of the roundness of the extra air in there really turns me on.

Maybe it’s the fact that an inflate/bloat is just a temporary short time makes it that more satisfying to get your fix on my own tummy time cravings! 😅 But that’s just me though.

Well as mundane as this sounds, from personal experience going on a walk (mostly) everyday helps out a lot to me. Especially when it comes to mental clarity and keeping “your juices flowing” and all that stuff.

You could practically do it at a park, shopping mall, or the comfort of your own neighborhood (if it’s safe to walk about). It’s pretty much theoretically the kind of exercise that anyone of any body type can do. And if you want to make it fun you could go on a walk to a store to get yourself a drink or something and walk back.

Now sure there’s plenty of other stuff like swimming and dancing that’s a lot less boring and more vigorous. But sometimes a little exercise is all about the small steps to work on doing more and more. To me, it’s all about being able to move your body around!

That’s understandable, I get what you’re trying to tell me. Lately I’ve been trying to take things in a more nuanced way. Because I feel like discussions like that are more important than ever to find that sort of nuance.

Trying to balance between what you believe versus what the general public says isn’t an easy thing to do, especially when you’re trying to say something that almost everyone would agree (or have the most likes in a comment). I am aware that some people don’t always like what I have to say, but if people can at least acknowledge that I have a point in some degree… I can live with that.

Kinda. I have no shame for what I am attracted to. I mean I am what I find attractive too (hello it says in my username 😅). But I do have bad days at time.

I get the feeling to this. I mean in the outside world it’s so taboo when it’s not up to social beauty standards. Even when I found out that I liked bigger women I knew about how people think about them, especially the health matter of things. Pretty much the writing on the wall you can say.

But something about bigger women are so much better than what a smaller woman does. It’s just not the same. 😅 But I try to be as respectful for both sides of the spectrum. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that a skinny or fit woman isn’t pretty… but it’s just not for me y’know?

Yeah it’s such quite a strange reality that we’re living in. Like I get if people want to lose weight to look after their wellbeing and whatnot. But sometimes when people go crazy about it, it really effects a lot of people that can be driven to a distorter. Weight and body size are such a touchy subject, it always has been.

Well I certainly appreciate that.

I mean I sometimes feel “a little chubby” whenever I am sitting. 😅

From what I was looking at your pictures it looks like your gut has gotten so round that your belly button might be getting closed to being pushed out as an outie. I guess it depends on if you’re okay with that or not.