Seeing the cute slim guy/girl blow up

Morbidly A Beast:
when you are 400+ it’s hard not to notice when people talk about fat people they are talking about you and as sex postive/non kink shaming you can be it’s hard to see fat humiliation stuff as a valid expression of a persons kink and not just blatant fat phobia

A particular one that irks me is ruination, like brother im not ruined, i just like to overeat


It's complicated to be sure. I've had partners with an exhibitionist streak that loved humiliation, denigration, and ruination. From what I gathered, they took a spiteful pride in being something others wouldn't want to be.

Meanwhile, my current partner loves twisted praise. He loves it when I call him fat hog or glutton because he knows we both like these aspects of himself. He is also something of an exhibitionist.

Of course, all of my feedist partners, past and present, are masochists, so take that as you will.
4 weeks

Sedantary jobs

Shydutchie28:
Is it worth it for me to change from my active job to a sedantary/WFH job if I wanna gain weight? Will it have tangible results in the long run?


Do not make any major decisions solely based on your kink. That's how you ***rself over.

When it comes to picking or quitting a job, your kink should be a happy bonus. Have you seen the economy lately?
4 weeks

Clothing as you grow

EIIe:
I pretty much always wear dresses.

I’ve preferred them for years and years even before gaining but they really last longer...

Now that I’m into 2XLs I’m really outgrowing them all and I’m having to buy new clothes...

I still wear the dresses I can get away with... they’re tight and you can definitely see my fat bulges. I’ve also stopped wearing a bra the majority of the time because I don’t have any that fit.

I’ve thought about purchasing maternity clothes but I haven’t found any I really like. But I really like the idea!

Softgutgal:
I am a fan of dresses too and haven’t worn pants in years. Depending on the style and manufacturer, some of mine are actually still a size medium 😂 The other day I wanted to replace one of my favorite ones since I had outgrown it and the fabric is rather non-stretchy, so I figured two sizes up should be plenty. Just in case, I decided to take measurements and oh boy, now I realize how fat I really am!!

Glitter Jelly:
The same happened with me when I wanted to upsize the non stretch dresses I owned. I was wearing size 4-6 before October, now I'm up to size 8-10 depending on the cut.

I've given up of dresses with sleeves as that don't look good on me anymore, my arms are already too fat for non stretch fabrics. 😪


You don't need to give up sleeves. There are so many different styles of sleeves to wear. You have to pick which ones work best for you.

For example, I can't do form-fitting sleeves. Women's clothes were not made with biceps in mind, so I end up looking like an overstuffed sausage with limited mobility and chafing.

You know what does work for me? Loose, flowing sleeves. I got a dashiki ages ago, and it was a game changer.

Look at all these! And this is just a small sampling of options:



All you need to is find what makes you feel good. Don't think you have to give up sleeves because of your body shape.
4 weeks

Seeing the cute slim guy/girl blow up

Fatforfun:
Munchies, I agree with you in general about revenge stories. But there are exceptions. See my story Fat Justice. Hope you like it.

Munchies:
You will note that I am painting in broad strokes.

That said, I took a glace at your story and um ...

Are you sure you want me to explore the themes therein.

Because I can. I will be fair about it, but are you really sure you want me to do that?

Fatforfun:
I'm not looking for conflict, Munchies. Like I said, in general I agree with you. I just thought you might like to see an exception.


I'm not looking for conflict either. If I was, you'd have it already.

That said, having read what you wrote, I am not seeing any so-called exceptions. And while I am open to discussing it with you in a non-hostile way, I am pretty sure my thoughts will offend you.
4 weeks

How to be a better dom

Ligr77:
Well, last time I tried domming, I want for more of a gentle dom style, leaning more towards praise. That said, I think they caught on that I wasn't really used to domming.


Being a dom means you are in charge. Even if you are a gentle dom, you are still in charge. This requires confidence.

In your case, if you aren't used to domming, discuss it with your partner. Ask them what they like, what they don't, and what are their expectations are. You also need to discuss limits, green lights, and things you are open to trying.

If you are not experienced with domming, you are going to suck. And that's okay. If you are open to learning and listening, you'll get better with time.

Have fun!
4 weeks

How to be a better dom

Ligr77:
Hi there! I was wondering if anyone here had some tips for being a better dom?

I'm asking because while I usually consider myself a sub, I'd like to bed more of a dom.

Keep in mind I'm more into the gentle dom side of the feederism, with some playful teasing thrown in from time to time.


Well, how are you domming now?
4 weeks

Old dude with thoughts on the community

Bigwideland:
What is the purpose of purity if only to be defiled

It same with sweet country towns, or that hidden surf break. The initial people are about a core value the feel, comradery, the vibe. Then other notice less layed back people move in. If you get enough people moving in the opportunity people turn up, then the knockers and trolls. It just seems the nature of things.


You're not entirely wrong, but you are not entirely right either.

We'll never get those simpler times back, but that doesn't mean it's all doom and gloom. Community is what you make of it.

I remember how unsafe and unwelcome I felt when I first started being active on here. Sure, there were nice people, but I got harrassed a lot for being a woman, being black, being Jewish, not being a feedee, etc. I'd say the community was overrun by a special kind of asshole back then.

Yeah, I'd report people, but there were so many people like that it felt like wack a mole. One day I had enough and started publically standing up for myself and others. It was scary, but I couidn't live with myself if I backed down.

Well, it turns out I wasn't the only one that hated the status quo. Turns out, I was dealing with a very loud minority. They were so loud that everyone else thought the nice people were in the minority.

When I plucked up the courage to stand up to such people, others started doing it too. That vocal minority got quieter. It's more peaceful these day, and people are nicer.
4 weeks

Old dude with thoughts on the community

Munchies:
There's been a heavy emphasis on the feedee models. While I agree the commercialization of this fetish is concerning, you cannot have a market without buyers.


Too Tiny:
I figured it would make more sense to use examples most of us would recognize rather than singling out random people. I mean, I could name names, but it would just feel tacky. Also to my point, I don't really know any feedees or feeders anymore. I lost track of all of the ones I knew when I left DIMS. So I wouldn't have any current names to share even if I was willing.

But I agree that kink diversity is being lost rapidly. With it the open-mindedness this community was once known for. It sometimes feels like everything is about instant gratification and not long term admiration. There is no sense of connection of commitment to it anymore. I remember then this kink came with an obligation to play the long game and enjoy watching it happen. Not anymore. As another poster mentioned, it's more about entitlement.

I partially agree with the comment about being overworked beyond the capatacity for hobbies. We work so hard when we get home often sleep is the absolute priority and sex isn't even an option. But there does come a point where an individual is choosing not to understand himself. Not everyone experiences moments of introspection, and those people are the reckless ones. They don't know what about the kink gets them going, only that it does. Oftentimes they also believe it always has to end in an orgasm. A fetish is not so simple, yet this one has been reduced to the lowest common denominator. It really makes it hard to chat with others about it. I've been told I'm too intense and they can't can't chat, likely due to intimidation. The truth is I just know my preferences and sepreate fantasy from reality. 70+% of these people never bothered. I find it...disappointing and isolating.

I'll be honest, my fat kink experiences have been few and far between. I just can't find anyone I'm comfortable sharing it with. There's no one my age who feels it on the same level I do with the same needs I have. Statistically, yes, someone is out there. But I'll never meet them. Knowing this the dating sites seem pointless. And I seriously question the social media.


I get it. However, you may be unaware of this as you aren't as active in the community these days, and many people place the blame entirely on women.

Again, I am not saying that was your intention. However, I have dealt with several users going on rants about the "stuck-up money-hungry whores" that are ruining the community. It's gotten very ugly.

Thankfully, more men are stepping up to the plate these days. It's nice that more men are being visibly decent people. But the misogynistic people remain.
4 weeks

Old dude with thoughts on the community

Morbidly A Beast:
As a person who discovered this stuff later in life I don’t have knowledge of anything prior to 2022 and I feel like not much has changed other than in the periphery there’s more people accepting their bodies and saying it’s okay to be fat so I think just on that alone I think this message is off base, I think body positivity and size acceptance has become more mainlined, I don’t see it as much in explicitly kink spaces but I think that’s because it doesn’t need to be. People can go to and be directly body positive without even considering kink. The kink space has become a marketplace to sell content which can people can go without directly considering body positivity. Just my 2 cents as a newb


Honestly, I think this is a reflection of wider society. Across the board in all demographics, people have grown more isolated. The world's on fire and people are not emotionally regulating themselves in a healthy manner.

I've seen people in the forums explicitly say they enjoy fat shaming randos on the street because it makes them feel better about themselves. I've seen people get into content creation because they are fat and want to feel wanted.

Lotta hurting, lonely people out there in kink space.
4 weeks

Old dude with thoughts on the community

Weetabix:
This site could support content creators without actually paying them. People who get likes on their pictures could get extra messages and picture views.


Yeah, I can see this going left real fast.

Sure, the commercialization of kink is irksome, but clout is a hell of a drug.
4 weeks