M'aiq has heard the people in Skyrim are better-looking than the ones in Cyrodiil. He has no opinion on the matter. All people are beautiful to him.
--M'aiq the Liar, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Welcome to FF, you'll find we're a friendly sort here. We won't bite...unless you ask nicely lol.

You should take some time to explore the forums to figure out your haunts, make new threads, post in existing ones, and visit us in the Chatroom!

Luigi: So, mi amici, I would ask who you are, but in view of your shredded clothes and the fact that the Chateau d'If is two miles away... what's the point? As for me, I am Luigi Vampa, a smuggler and a thief. My men and I have come to this island to bury alive one of our number who attempted to keep some stolen gold for himself instead of sharing it with his comrades. Interestingly enough, there are some of his more loyal friends who are insisting that I grant him mercy. Which, of course, I cannot do, or I would quickly lose control of the whole crew. That is why you are such a fortunate find.
Edmond: Why is that?
Luigi: You provide me with a way to show a little mercy to Jacopo - that maggot you see tied up over there - while at the same time not appearing weak. And as a bonus, the lads will get to see a little sport as well.
Edmond: How do I accomplish all this?
Luigi: We watch you and Jacopo fight to the death. If Jacopo wins, we welcome him back to the crew. If you win, I have given Jacopo the chance to live, even if he did not take advantage of it, and you can take his place on the boat.
Edmond: What if I win and I don't want to be a smuggler?
Luigi: Then we slit your throat, and we're a bit shorthanded.
[pause]
Edmond: [smiles after consideration] I find that smuggling is the life for me, and would be delighted to kill your friend the maggot!
Luigi: Oh, and by the way, Jacopo is the best knife fighter I have ever seen.
Edmond: [unmoved, sarcastically] Perhaps you should get out more...
Luigi: [laughs, shouts to his crew] Release Jacopo, and give him back his knife. And we'll let the games begin...


Dorleac: Now you're thinking, just now "Why me, O God?". The answer is, God has nothing to do with it. In fact, God is never in France this time of year

Edmond: There are 72,519 stones in my walls. I've counted them many times.
Abbe Faria: But have you named them yet?

--

from another favorite of mine. The Count of Monte Cristo

The stranger gave the matronly woman a curious look and said, "I asked for two as my price, and both I shall have." He jumped nimbly down from the carriage, obviously recovered from earlier. He tossed his cane up in the air and it dissolved into smoke as he walked toward the door. Once on the threshold he turned back, "Show them to their quarters and start dinner for them. And don't forget to introduce them to the other staff. I want them to have many friends here." He finished, treating the three of them to a bright almost child-like smile of enthusiasm before he turned and walked into his palacial abode.

Ivan was still reluctant to dismount from the coach, his curious connection with the stranger waning. He turned back in the direction of the town, which was barely discernible as a speck on the horizon, and sighed. He stepped out of the carriage with his shoulders slumped. Ivy was still looking around in wonder, she was already inside of the great hall regarding the ancient works of art with wide eyes, but the older woman was looking at Ivan with a curious expression on her face.

It was several minutes before Ivan even noticed this fact. "What?" he asked. "You needn't look so worried young man, Master Roric is a very affable man. He's very in-tune with the natural energies of the world, and I assure you he wouldn't harm even a hair on your head." She said grinning cheerily. With that she began to walk briskly towards a set of stairs in the center of the hall, "Your rooms are this way! Follow me." She announced without looking over her shoulder and immediately began to ascend.

Both Ivy and Ivan hurried to catch up, the woman was faster than she looked. After a few minutes they were walking along behind her, Ivy still awestruck by her new surroundings. They walked, and walked...and walked. The mansion was enormous, and after a bit they began to encounter more people, whom their guide introduced them to on the fly. "There's Morishka, she works in the kitchens with me." She said pointing to a tall slim woman with jet-black hair, "And Michal, he tends the grounds." This time indicating a short-ish muscular man with graying hair.

They encountered four more people before they finally made it to the quarters that Master Roric had set aside for them. Theran, he was tall, wirey, and about the age of their guide and was in charge of the mansion's artworks. Veera, a middle aged woman with blonde hair that was moving towards white, who headed the cleaning staff. And then there was Kieran and Meisha, who were around the same age as Ivan and Ivy. Kieran was a littler shorter than Ivan, with black hair. Though he was built about the same. Meisha was the same height as Ivy but with a willowy, yet well endowed propotional build and light brunette hair that fell past her elbows.

Surprisingly Ivy's and Ivan's rooms were adjacent and adjoining. And as they were settling in, their guide snapped her fingers in a gesture of forgetfulness. "I just realized I never introduced myself. I'm Anya, and you can just pull that rope in the corner if you're ever hungry and Morishka or I will bring you something straight away."

She turned to leave the room but before she went more than a few steps Ivan said, "I just realized...you never told us what Meisha and Kieran's jobs are here." Anya stopped for a moment and turned slowly, "Oh, well...they're also Master Rorics...'guests'...like you. They've been here for about 4 years." And quickly exited without further elaboration.

---

Sorry for the slightly ramblyness in the middle...

Just put together a personalized menu. Make sure you keep the good foods in, it's essential to keep a balanced diet.

If you're looking for a quick boost, go for liquid calories. But avoid too much soda as it's just awful for you. Go with juices, and full fat milk. *also any recipes that call for milk substituting heavy cream will greatly increase the calorie content*

Nawwww, how could we ever stay mad at you?

I'm thinking of Studio Ghibli...

-Daddy...are we lost?
-Don't worry, I've got four-wheel drive!
--Chihiro to her father

-I'm see through, I'm see through!!!
--Chihiro

-Take this, use it to tie your hair back. It will protect you, it's made from the threads your friends wove together.
--Zeniba to Chihiro

-A new home, a new school? It is a bit scary.
-I think I can handle it.
--Chihiro's father to Chihiro

My opinion in a nutshell. "This sounds like a horrible idea"--Heard from inside of a walnut

Thread Necromancy! *I was intrigued by the story idea, sorry to let it go stagnant*

------

When Ivan touched the stranger's hand it felt as if an electric current surged into his arm, causing his elbow to buck. His knees went shakey but the pain was fleeting, replaced quickly with a sense of mental connection with the stranger. It was as if he could see into his eyes and beyond, into his soul. What he sensed removed his misgivings about getting into the carriage...appart from the fact that he would be expected to grow fat.

Though, Ivan decided, it was a small price to pay for the restore and beautification of his village. He turned toward the carriage where Ivy leaned out the window with a look of concern on her angelic features. When she saw that Ivan was walking toward the carriage a smile lit her face and she moved out of the carriage's door to let him in. As soon as Ivan had climbed, in the door closed on its own.

The stranger, who had been watching, smiled with satisfaction and looked out over the crowd. "Our deal is satisfied!" he shouted and raised his right hand to the sky and closed his eyes. Light danced on his fingertips and began to shine out onto the destroyed buildings and decimated store-fronts. Where the light shown on anything broken the pieces would glimmer for a moment and then fly back together. Soon the entire town was back to normal but the magic didn't end there. The shopfronts became more opulent, the streets more neatly cobblestoned, the clocktower became taller and its hands shown with golden filigrees. Everything in the village was not only restored but enhanced.

The stranger, who's arm had begun to shake almost imperceptibely towards the end of the town's transformation, finally lowered his hand and opened his eyes to admire his work. He looked drained but satisfied. After taking a shakey breath he addressed the throngs of corpulent townsfolk once more, "Your town is new again, better even." He paused, flexing his right hand. "In the town square I have left you a way to contact me should you ever require my assistance again. And just to reassure you, there will be no future prices, you have paid it all this day."

Without another word he turned toward the carriage and took a few shakey steps forward before a cane appeared in his outstretched hand. He covered the rest of the distance to the carriage leaning heavily on the cane, and once he was inside the carriage started off. Despite it's lack of a horse or a driver.

------

Don't worry, the stranger will recover. Magic on that scale just takes it out of him.

If you're looking for somewhere to find a belt for him I'd suggest looking at KingSizeDirect. They have a pretty good selection and their sizing goes quite high.