Old dude with thoughts on the community

Munchies:
I get it. However, you may be unaware of this as you aren't as active in the community these days, and many people place the blame entirely on women.


Too Tiny:
Honestly I have seen this as well. I've also seen it on gay gainer sites, namely Grommr and BiggerCity. The community as a whole has become intensely toxic to a point where younger people wonder if they're crazy or mentally ill for wanting to be fat. It gets depressing sometimes.

I member the multi-year saga of King Gluttony. His name was Nick. He made money by modeling for Hansi for a while, but started having more serious health issues stemming from weighing over 800 pounds. He ended up creating a YouTube channel called Help for Nick where he detailed his struggles and health issues as they happened. He got a book deal and while he didn't specifically demonize the community, he also didn't have much positive to say about, either. In the end he never got the weight loss surgery he needed and he abruptly deleted everything. There was no weight loss journey or recovery. I haven't looked him up lately, but he did another video and photo set immediately after deleting his fundraiser stuff, then he disappeared entirely. I honestly don't know if he really wanted surgery. He would have had to lose weight to be approved, and he made it clear that he was a massive food addict and never did anything to fight it. He had such potential for a fell good story, and even a lot of money for him. He really just didn't want it badly enough.

On the opposite side, there were tons of comments on his YouTube begging him not to lose weight and calling him a traitor and such. There was a great deal of hostility and anger that he would want to lose weight. People were so entitled that they felt betrayed by a huge dude, completely kink free, would have the audacity to want to live a normal independent life. Fat fetishism, at it's absolute worst, is sociopaths who feed on the misery and dependence of others. Those were the ones Nick found himself surrounded by almost exclusively. It would make sense if that pressure was part of why he disappeared into obscurity despite having everything going for him.

Another one I remember was Luke, SuperXLChubboy. He was an extreme gainer beyond Nick. He entered the scene at about 635 or so. Dude was an instant star and was one of the first guys to popularize Hansi's Superchubs. Over time he gained a lot, peaking at around 1,060 lbs. He was really massive. At one point he was trying to raise money for WLS, I think before Hansi. He only raised $200. He had news articles and publicity, too. But his story wasn't compelling or dramatic enough for anyone to care. He was just a guy addicted to food who brought this on himself. Like so many others the modeling came as an income source. He eventually lost weight and stabilized at about 700. He would only rarely make content, and eventually just stopped. I have no idea if he continued.

I don't think he was in the recieving end of as much hate as Nick was, but I'm sure he got his share. Luke was far less assessable (and Canadian) and wasn't known to engage with the community much. He wasn't into it and didn't exploit it like he could have, so his socials were harder to find. Last I looked a couple years ago he hadn't been on in over a year.

So no, the toxicity isn't limited to female gainers. Hell, Antonio just started losing weight, too. Lots of obnoxious RIP comments there.


Gonna make a separate post because this one has a lot of words.
8 months

Seeing the cute slim guy/girl blow up

Fatforfun:
Munchies, I agree with you in general about revenge stories. But there are exceptions. See my story Fat Justice. Hope you like it.

Munchies:
You will note that I am painting in broad strokes.

That said, I took a glace at your story and um ...

Are you sure you want me to explore the themes therein.

Because I can. I will be fair about it, but are you really sure you want me to do that?

Fatforfun:
I'm not looking for conflict, Munchies. Like I said, in general I agree with you. I just thought you might like to see an exception.

Munchies:
I'm not looking for conflict either. If I was, you'd have it already.

That said, having read what you wrote, I am not seeing any so-called exceptions. And while I am open to discussing it with you in a non-hostile way, I am pretty sure my thoughts will offend you.

Fatforfun:
[Maybe I misunderstood what you wrote. I thought that you were saying that revenges stories always end with the person who gets fat being rejected by society. My story has the person who got fat becoming a better person and accepted for that. That's the exception that I mean.]


Yeah, you did misunderstand. I said revenge weight gain stories have a typical beat, but variations exist. Your story is usual for the genre, with some mild variations. This is common when you are writing in any genre.

An exception would be something drastic that you never really see. For example, the person exacting revenge feels guilty and turns himself in, the revenge victim escapes, never to be seen again, or the person getting revenge is the villain, not the story's hero.

After all, what is a revenge weight gain story if not a power fantasy?
8 months

Seeing the cute slim guy/girl blow up


SumoSized:
That's also another issue, some of these stories are just straight up domestic abuse, and then people actually turn around and want to bring these ideas into their relationships. Like I've only been on the platform for a couple months and every once in a while I'll see someone post asking for advice on how to secretly fatten their partner, which is sickening and should qualify as abuse. While there are a lot of perks of being larger, there are also downsides, and people just have their own preferences. Luckily these posts usually get shut down pretty quick, but it's still unacceptable people actually think that way


Secretly fattening someone up is abuse. In some places, it's also a crime. This is why the community is so quick to bash these people and shut them down.

But you are right about these stories containing blatant abuse. To be clear, I am not saying writing about themes of abuse is bad. But it depends on how you handle it.

A common theme in revenge weight gain stories is that the wronged party will take away the bully's agency to fatten them up. Common tactics include secret fattening, non-con force-feeding, and coercion, which is often taken as morally correct.

Pair this with the fact that most of these stories involve a socially rejecting man taking revenge on a woman who "doesn't know her place" and her crime is often rejecting the man/being a gold digger.

To be clear, I am not saying these stories are influencing people to go around and do these things to people. And you are not necessarily a bad person if you write such things.

Instead, I think the prevalence of these stories is a symptom of a much bigger issue. In truth, a lot of feedists see fat people as lesser. Idk what the statistics are, but anecdotally, there are a lot.

Also, many feeders and FAs in the online space feel like social rejects who can't find love. They come to places like FF thinking things will be better, only to discover they are not. They soon become bitter and spiteful.

Revenge weight gain stories are power fantasies first and foremost. We all love a good fantasy, but social rejects flock to them like seagulls. And that anger comes out in the stories they write. The more twisted it is, the better.
8 months

Seeing the cute slim guy/girl blow up

Glitter Jelly:
Makes a lot of sense.

I'm not sure how I feel about these stories... I've read many of them but I often feel bad for the protagonist as I'm not into gaining weight myself and feel strongly that secretly fattening someone is not OK.

I've been bullied a lot for being heavier than my classmates so I'd be lying if I pretended I wouldn't feel some satisfaction if I came across one of these mean girls and she had gained a lot of weight.

I used to think of it as karma but I acknowledge this is the socially conditioned fat-phobic part of me that is responsible for that kind of thinking.

Even if they were much fatter than me, I wouldn't go as far as pointing it out to them or humiliating them, however. I wouldn't want them to feel the same way I felt because it leaves scars on your psyche.

I think intentionally getting fat as a way of saying f**k you to diet culture and revolt against current beauty standards. I'm not there yet but can see myself getting here if/when I'll be fed up with trying to shrink my body against its nature.


I've seen a lot of feedists recovering from ED say that feedism helped them. To be clear, I am not saying that feedism is a cure for ED. I've seen many people go from one extreme to the other. Still, there's something to be said about being in an environment that keeps telling you the parts you hate about yourself are beautiful.
8 months

Seeing the cute slim guy/girl blow up

Morbidly A Beast:
when you are 400+ it’s hard not to notice when people talk about fat people they are talking about you and as sex postive/non kink shaming you can be it’s hard to see fat humiliation stuff as a valid expression of a persons kink and not just blatant fat phobia

A particular one that irks me is ruination, like brother im not ruined, i just like to overeat


It's complicated to be sure. I've had partners with an exhibitionist streak that loved humiliation, denigration, and ruination. From what I gathered, they took a spiteful pride in being something others wouldn't want to be.

Meanwhile, my current partner loves twisted praise. He loves it when I call him fat hog or glutton because he knows we both like these aspects of himself. He is also something of an exhibitionist.

Of course, all of my feedist partners, past and present, are masochists, so take that as you will.
8 months

Sedantary jobs

Shydutchie28:
Is it worth it for me to change from my active job to a sedantary/WFH job if I wanna gain weight? Will it have tangible results in the long run?


Do not make any major decisions solely based on your kink. That's how you ***rself over.

When it comes to picking or quitting a job, your kink should be a happy bonus. Have you seen the economy lately?
8 months

Clothing as you grow

EIIe:
I pretty much always wear dresses.

I’ve preferred them for years and years even before gaining but they really last longer...

Now that I’m into 2XLs I’m really outgrowing them all and I’m having to buy new clothes...

I still wear the dresses I can get away with... they’re tight and you can definitely see my fat bulges. I’ve also stopped wearing a bra the majority of the time because I don’t have any that fit.

I’ve thought about purchasing maternity clothes but I haven’t found any I really like. But I really like the idea!

Softgutgal:
I am a fan of dresses too and haven’t worn pants in years. Depending on the style and manufacturer, some of mine are actually still a size medium 😂 The other day I wanted to replace one of my favorite ones since I had outgrown it and the fabric is rather non-stretchy, so I figured two sizes up should be plenty. Just in case, I decided to take measurements and oh boy, now I realize how fat I really am!!

Glitter Jelly:
The same happened with me when I wanted to upsize the non stretch dresses I owned. I was wearing size 4-6 before October, now I'm up to size 8-10 depending on the cut.

I've given up of dresses with sleeves as that don't look good on me anymore, my arms are already too fat for non stretch fabrics. 😪


You don't need to give up sleeves. There are so many different styles of sleeves to wear. You have to pick which ones work best for you.

For example, I can't do form-fitting sleeves. Women's clothes were not made with biceps in mind, so I end up looking like an overstuffed sausage with limited mobility and chafing.

You know what does work for me? Loose, flowing sleeves. I got a dashiki ages ago, and it was a game changer.

Look at all these! And this is just a small sampling of options:



All you need to is find what makes you feel good. Don't think you have to give up sleeves because of your body shape.
8 months

Seeing the cute slim guy/girl blow up

Fatforfun:
Munchies, I agree with you in general about revenge stories. But there are exceptions. See my story Fat Justice. Hope you like it.

Munchies:
You will note that I am painting in broad strokes.

That said, I took a glace at your story and um ...

Are you sure you want me to explore the themes therein.

Because I can. I will be fair about it, but are you really sure you want me to do that?

Fatforfun:
I'm not looking for conflict, Munchies. Like I said, in general I agree with you. I just thought you might like to see an exception.


I'm not looking for conflict either. If I was, you'd have it already.

That said, having read what you wrote, I am not seeing any so-called exceptions. And while I am open to discussing it with you in a non-hostile way, I am pretty sure my thoughts will offend you.
8 months

How to be a better dom

Ligr77:
Well, last time I tried domming, I want for more of a gentle dom style, leaning more towards praise. That said, I think they caught on that I wasn't really used to domming.


Being a dom means you are in charge. Even if you are a gentle dom, you are still in charge. This requires confidence.

In your case, if you aren't used to domming, discuss it with your partner. Ask them what they like, what they don't, and what are their expectations are. You also need to discuss limits, green lights, and things you are open to trying.

If you are not experienced with domming, you are going to suck. And that's okay. If you are open to learning and listening, you'll get better with time.

Have fun!
8 months

How to be a better dom

Ligr77:
Hi there! I was wondering if anyone here had some tips for being a better dom?

I'm asking because while I usually consider myself a sub, I'd like to bed more of a dom.

Keep in mind I'm more into the gentle dom side of the feederism, with some playful teasing thrown in from time to time.


Well, how are you domming now?
8 months