Milhause:
I was taught the two things you NEVER ask a woman (should be ppl in general tho): their age and their weight.
I guess you need to be more communicative if it’s really that important but for context I’ve been with my partner for almost a decade, and I’ve never known their weight except for one time when a quirk of our schedules and car needs saw me accompanying her to a drs appointment.
Now granted, my spouse knows I’m a FA and that I find her beautiful and she still doesn’t share her weight or flaunt it. Ultimately, it’s up to your partner how comfortable they are. Personally, I don’t need to know some arbitrary number because I value her for who she is, full stop.
Have a chat with your person if it’s something you feel is important. It may not be a big deal but they also may not want to share that info. Gotta respect it either way.
Enas:
I uuuh, i agree and disagree at the same time with this way of thinking.
I understand the social context, especially for women (you *must* be bellow "x" pounds to be accepted by society, otherwise youre gross, etc) but seriously, how come and in what sense is not talking about something a form of respect? This is generaly a conclusion that is reached when the topic is making someone uncomfortable. But that on its own is a good enough reason to talk, not about the topic itself but about the reasons that this is the case! It takes some bravery but isnt it so much better to be able to handle thinking or even talking about something of importance?
My point here is not so much about the conclusion per se, but of the thought (or maybe the non-thought) process whith which that conclusion was approached. I think its not rational. It helps to avoid (dealing with) conflict rather than resolve it for example. And i think a rational approach would be of great utility because there is a lot of trauma that cannot otherwise be adressed and dealt with.
Im saying this, not in the sense that its not bad to ask women (or everyone) about their weight and height, but to point out that this situation where women will become uncomfortable by these things is really *not* okay. Because this uncomfort is a mere symptom of the traumatic patriarchical order of things. Men have long ago defined in this society what a woman (and also a man) should look like, behave, etc, in order to be accepted. There is a fairly new development, which is that in its briliancy this system (instead of realizing this is a very toxic thing to do) has made women doing it too, as if that has some potential other than doubling the toxicity.
It's about boundaries. When someone has a boundary, you do not cross it. Now, in some contexts, if the relationship allows for such closeness, you can have a conversation about that. But seeing as OP has been dating his gf for 4 months, he ain't there.
