A matter of perspective…

Pudgymars:
I wasn't alive then, so I can't say with certainty, but I've read about how historically fatness has been treated.....I guess it is going up, but very fat people have always existed, at much more than 190lbs, and been a part of art and culture. Before health insurance and BMI in the states especially, fatphobia existed, but nothing like what we see now, as I understand it (by medicalizing & classifying it as a disease as opposed to bodily variation).
My guess for the 1970s would be either a. the author does not understand the weights at which people are commonly seen as "very fat" (which is still a problem now. I see fics online treating 300 as if it were 500-600 lbs) ,or b. doesn't understand the measurements well, maybe he was more accustomed to metric? Also, in the 90s in the states, BMI was shifted to categorize even less people as "normal" weights- many became classified as "overweight" or "obese" literally overnight, so 190lbs would probably, at least medically, considered even less fat in the 70s.
While perhaps much less common, I just don't buy that very fat people were so exceedingly rare unless you go back in to a time, place, and group where starvation is commonplace (and even then, you will have outliers in a large enough group if any of them are not actively starving, because fatness is partially just genetics).
If you look at the visual art made across history and cultures, fat and very fat people are represented throughout. (There is also a racial element to this- fatness became associated as a negative characteristic alongside being associated as a black characteristic specifically. sabrina strings' "fearing the black body" talks about this development in detail. really interesting read especially in light of how all forms of fat sexuality are seen as deviant/inherently kinky.)
(Also also, while not a problem, I think 5'5 as very short is a little funny- I'm 5'4 and have met tons of people shorter than me, so I usually don't consider myself all that short. But I guess it just depends on the people you're around unless you're looking statistically, and it's not a bad thing, just perspective.)


I'm impressed you know about the anti-black roots of modern fat phobia. Not many people know that fatness was more accepted in western culture until it was tired to racist stereotypes about black people.
1 month

A matter of perspective…

Dr Tim:
So, the other day I was rereading ‘The English Assassin’ by Michael Moorcock. I haven’t read it in about thirty years so wanted to see how it had fared. Anyway, that’s by the by, what struck me was a brief passage where two of the characters, who are both supposed to be quite to very fat, end up in bed together. They are described as having a combined weight of 380 lbs. I did something of a double take when I read this as this doesn’t seem to me to be particularly heavy for one person, let alone two!

I guess what it made me realise is that back in the 70s, when the book was written, the percentage of fat people out there was probably a lot lower. Also, what people considered to be very overweight was a lot different to where it is now. Even from my first time visiting FF way back in the mists of time when it was VERY pink (iykyk!), people showing themselves off at 380+ lbs was relatively rare.

I guess where I’m going with this is probably something a lot of folk have realised over the years is that my perspective of what I consider to be big/fat has changed over the years. What at one point was a rarity now seems quite ordinary. Not very interesting, I know, but I just wanted to share,


That's crazy.

A combined weight of 380 would make both parties about 190. There's no mention of their heights, but most fictional men during this time would have been about 6 feet. That gives each man a BMI of 25.8 - merely overweight. And on the low end of overweight at that.

You would have to be pretty short - 5'5" approximately - before you enter class 1 obesity. So it then begs the question of what the author considers very fat.
1 month

Skin remedies

Bigwideland:
If you have folds for belly appron my experience is to not have clothes that get between skin folds. You will likely get rubbing and irritation. I wear pants over my belly
I wash will antibacterial soap, use antifugal creams weekly. Dry folds with a hair dryer. Keeps most issues in control. As the leg shafing it seems to be at a certain weight your legs rub now bigger they roll on each other more than slide. However I recall using fleximul tape to help.


What does the tape do? Are you using as a barrier? Is this like boob tape where you kinda ... pin things out of the way?
1 month

Transformation fetish

Enas:
After a quick look at muscle transformation artwork... Im still a bit troubled. But at this point, im more troubled with the articulation, which can be a phylosophical thing more than anything. I have one example i can give. I certainly have a sexual interest towards muscular women. The articulation problem comes here. Is it fair to label that interest per se as a fetish? There are some reasons i would avoid doing that. The interest in muscular women is there because i have this fantasy of being in the hands of someone so powerful i could not resist, etc. Which means its not necesary that i like muscular women on their own, a muscular figure on a partner, for me, serves into making the sub/dom dynamic more real, or more extreme, or whatever, right? So, shouldn't maybe the sub/dom thing be labeled as a fetish by itself, instead?

Then of course there are all sorts of arrangements. For example one could say that both are fetishes. Someone could even say that they both are just one fetish and the articulation is bad because in it, they are seperated when they shouldn't.

All that kind of makes it hard for me at least to answer a question of "is X thing a fetish"? (Which is similar to "Is X fetish a thing?"smiley

Uhm, maybe its a bit easier to just think of all this as a big box with everything about sexuality, and the criteria for if a thing can be included in it would be "Something that alters how you'd wanna have sex"?

Edit: I hate it when some characters turn into an emoji... FF please change that... 🫠

Munchies:
Lord have mercy.

Enas, it's not that deep. If you like muscular women, but you don't feel like it's a fetish or a kink, then it's not.

Enas:
The thing is what i described is going to be a problem when i need to articulate my fetishes to some hypothetical partner. I could describe just the fantasies, but that has its own problems.


There is more to sexuality than fetishes. If the shoe doesn't fit, don't put it on.
1 month

Friends/ family/ coworkers commenting on weight gain

MarkSeanDavis17:
I'm petty AF with family members who tease me more than once. One off comment? Sure whatever, ha ha. Come at me again and I'm asking you about whether this 3rd marriage of yours is really "the one." Hell, I'll go after someone for being a shitty parent. That shuts them up real fast.


Oh to be a fly on the wall in that moment.
1 month

Friends/ family/ coworkers commenting on weight gain

ObeseCleopatra:
It's a daily thing lmao


Never underestimate the power of setting and establishing boundaries. It's what I had to do with my mother who used to do the same thing to me. It can be scary at first. But eventually the get with the program.

I get being concerned about health and quality of life, but there are ways you can go about doing that while also being respectful.
1 month

Transformation fetish

Enas:
After a quick look at muscle transformation artwork... Im still a bit troubled. But at this point, im more troubled with the articulation, which can be a phylosophical thing more than anything. I have one example i can give. I certainly have a sexual interest towards muscular women. The articulation problem comes here. Is it fair to label that interest per se as a fetish? There are some reasons i would avoid doing that. The interest in muscular women is there because i have this fantasy of being in the hands of someone so powerful i could not resist, etc. Which means its not necesary that i like muscular women on their own, a muscular figure on a partner, for me, serves into making the sub/dom dynamic more real, or more extreme, or whatever, right? So, shouldn't maybe the sub/dom thing be labeled as a fetish by itself, instead?

Then of course there are all sorts of arrangements. For example one could say that both are fetishes. Someone could even say that they both are just one fetish and the articulation is bad because in it, they are seperated when they shouldn't.

All that kind of makes it hard for me at least to answer a question of "is X thing a fetish"? (Which is similar to "Is X fetish a thing?"smiley

Uhm, maybe its a bit easier to just think of all this as a big box with everything about sexuality, and the criteria for if a thing can be included in it would be "Something that alters how you'd wanna have sex"?

Edit: I hate it when some characters turn into an emoji... FF please change that... 🫠


Lord have mercy.

Enas, it's not that deep. If you like muscular women, but you don't feel like it's a fetish or a kink, then it's not.
1 month

Transformation fetish

Kitsune2:
On Deviantart there are a lot of muscle transformation artwork. So there's definitely a sexual interest of it.

Arame:
Really? I did not know that. Ive known about muscle worship. But did not know muscle transformation was a thing


It is HUGE. Whatever you see in the fat kink world, there is a counterpart in the muscle kink world - even immobility.
1 month

Skin remedies

Pudgymars:
I have skin issues related to both chafing & allergies. Aloe vera is my number one choice for when it's raw (especially once you've left it in the fridge for a couple hours, great for sunburns), but I don't like it or creams much for stopping rubbing- too moist. I prefer sticks (kind of like deodorant) usually marketed as "anti-friction" (some are made for runners, others for bigger people). I haven't had any reactions to all the brands I've tried so far, and it's stopped both tenderness and sores from developing, so I recommend them as an option!


Adding onto this, if you end up with sore areas, slap a bandaid on the area. I like cloth ones because they don't fall off so easily when you sweat.
1 month

Yeast

Makemegrow:
lol just curious was not planning on doing it I was stoned and thinking about things and they say that doing stuff like coke and mentos doesn’t work super great because after the mentos hits your tough the coating that causes that reaction is destroyed so I was curious if a similar thing happened where your body stops a reaction ya know sorry for the confusion 😅


You're supposed to swallow the mentos whole like pills.
1 month