Married

Wife went balloon, then heavy diet down, then "oh now I can eat" up. Since she went down she's been under my enabling hand on and off.

Since about a year she knows I like her bigger. We do belly rubs, belly holding, hand feeding at times, talking about rewards for gaining X lbs, etc.

It's a delicate dance. Me taking the spoon and feeding her ice cream when she is busy: cute. My showing her my excitement when she asks for food; she finds it creepy.

Lot of habituating work, moving her points of reference, and moving the goal posts

70s show. Like Mad Men, a different kind of health era

Mine loves cinnamon toast crunch. As she's an unknowing feedee but cooperative eater, she'll talk a small bowl. Maybe a cup. Then the sugar does its work and she wants more. She'll go back, until finally she has a huge bowl all at once.

Most cereal by any other name would just be called candy. It's simple carbs with lots of sugar. Super easy for the body to process, and essentially hunger inducing

Needless to say, every cereal she loves is always in the house. When she "diets" she goes for the "healthy" cereals (simple carbs, sugar, empty calories), and when she's just living life she goes for the good stuff (simple carbs, sugar, empty calories).

Very satisfying to watch

40+



male



lean



yes



that's the hardest one to answer.

On the fat appreciation part:

- I like the fat rolls on my wife. I love it when the fat shows up everywhere on her body; from her belly, to her sides, to her shoulder blades, to her double chins.
- I love holding her big belly, especially in bed when I put my hand under it and feel its weight

On the feederism part:

- I love that she had to give up, give over; that there is no way but up.
- I enjoy the control; I can encourage her to go down, probably, but I decide to have her go up, and she can't but follow
- Of all the body modifications (lip injections, breast implants, etc), I find fattening her the most rewarding. It changes her whole perception and experience of Self as she's slowly but surely being wrapped in layers of fat.
- That big tits, big lips etc are a cultural norm while being fat isn't, makes having her to accept it sexier.
- The dominance is a big thing

What do you all think about specifically saying you like it when she is a bit heavier?

I've changed my "no, you're not big at all" game to "I like it when you have a bit of meat on you", and my impression is that it's both more honest (she KNOWS she gained weight) and has better effect

Yeah, so, whatever size she would be at, she'll be unhappy at one point or another. And I tell you; that sucks. It sucks when her weight is right (whatever that may be), and it sucks when you know she is overweight and you helped/encouraged/enabled it.

Here are my thoughts on it

- We like the gain(ing), so feeding is fun and exciting
- But the faster they gain, the faster the fun is over
- ...and the faster they gain, the sooner they want to stop, slow down, or diet

- Gaining is easy
- Losing is not
- Gaining brings your internal setpoint up
- Dieting won't bring it down
- Essentially the only way is up, especially for women

So those things combine *realistically* for me to:

- always, always, always be closing on how nice, beautiful, and sexy she looks heavier
- encourage, enable; don't force
- ride out any diet attempt until the "I deserve this" point; sit back and enjoy while the new setpoint goes up
- having HER gain weight is better than ME having her gain weight because once she feels guilty/bad, I can know it was mostly her

And -- you can try to install an artificial bottom. I told mine one day "for this or that special day you could weight at least 200 lbs", followed by "for me, every month you're over 200 lbs I give you my spending money"

Oh THIS explains a lot. Lyrica is a brand of gabapantin.

Mine has a general lazy side (while believing she is very disciplined), and a "I deserve this" complex, for lack of a better description. Up until what you wrote I've never associated her increased tendency to do "nothing" (read: less than a regular person can with the same effort), followed by rewards with those meds. Just thought this was her, the next level.



Mine knows since a year much better how much I appreciate it when she puts on weight. But every 0-level is a barrier. She's been up to 198 for almost half a year before a shopping money reward got her through the 200 barrier. Now 210 is her scary place. I do a lot, I mean a LOT, of work on clearing the path; letting her know it is appreciated she gains weight, telling her how much easier her life is to just have fun and eat, how simple life is with a husband who likes her to have more weight etc. Works for a bit (the gaining part), then the scales scare her again and she tries to go down.

That's OK too, because she still goes up over time, but I wouldn't mind if she just gave up and gave in.

A feedee attitude to drool over

I've had to manipulate/bribe my target through her 200 lbs barrier. Now 210 has become her next barrier; the trigger that causes her to feel heavy and want to diet.

Now here's the odd thing.... I had wanted to keep her around 205. She's bought dresses for several Christmas events we're supposed to attend and not fitting in those dresses is a no-no.

But she surprised me when she kept on eating like nobody cares and approached 210 very nearly.

She's gone on a "diet" now (as a feeder you know why I put quotes around that) and is stuck around 207.

So.... I wanted to keep her 205, she's 207 now, down from 209....and I feel like a loss on one side, like a win on the side of "hey fuck, she's still way over her 200 barrier"

She's holding steady-ish at a 32.5 BMI (obese), at 207-ish lbs.

Would you consider her fat, and should I count myself lucky, or is the feeling of "damn, she lost weight" more valid?

I'm coming at this from the feeder side.

My unknowing feedee, but cooparative eater, self-sabotages a LOT, but has had some serious convincing and enabling help from me to go from her mental "low weight" idea of 198 lbs recently to 207-209 lbs nowadays.

I love it, I adore it. She is VERY happy with the extra sexual attention it brings from my side. With the increase of spooning (with me holding her belly).

But it's also brought moments of going on the scales and her feeling defeated, down, bad.

At those times I can feel bad for her. Usually it makes me "allow" her to diet; to do her own thing, which I very well know will make her lose a tiny fraction, only to get stuck again.

Knowing that with my knowledge and enabling skills, I could maybe compensate for her total lack of self-discipline and get her to the tiny weight she aspires too, makes me feel guilty-ish sometimes.

From her side what I see is that she's willing to do ANYTHING, especially extreme quick-win diets. What she can't handle is.........this is the rest of your LIFE. They're right; this isn't a DIET, it's a LIFE STYLE. Fruit breakfast, salad lunch, slim meal, and 5 almonds evening snacks will be the rest of your LIFE.

Who can live like this?

The only words of consolement I can give you are; if your one single true desire in life is to weight less, you can. If it becomes THE single focus of your whole life.....you can.

The reality, from a feeder's point of knowledge, is that this has now become your new set point. Losing more than 5-10 lbs is a struglle against nature. Gains are easy and quick wins; losing is an uphill battle, where uphill over years means up-scale. It's why we can let out feedees diet; we know it will come back on PLUS some more.