I think there are two important issues here:

1. I think that controversy starts if the original poster says something that is consciously or unconsciously hurtful to others here.

2. I think sometimes people express preferences in unfortunate ways. It's one thing to say 'I really love watching a slender young woman sprout a little belly' vs. 'I don't really like dating fat girls.' It's all in the execution.

Not everyone is going to be super-careful about what they say, so sometimes things are going to flare up.

@OP: In general, threads having to do with paysites or their models in any way are discouraged, and they are most often trashed. It is free advertising, and it is unfair to all the other models who are not allowed to advertise freely. You can always ask privately in chat or PM friends on the site, where it isn't in the public view.

Hee hee. I like that thought. Well, not the I'm-so-stupid-I-missed-it part, but the it's-been-happening-all-along part!

*giggle* Thanks, Please, that's very sweet of you to say. Media studies, mostly entertainment media--film, tv, music.

I have once or twice gotten the feeling someone was finding me appealing, but I've never--in 20+ years of teaching--had a student hit on me. Strange.

OK, I agree with several points people have made (esp Chubosaurus). Here are some repeats and additions:

1. Spend time in contexts where you feel good. For me, FF is one of those, but also BBW club nights, dating sites, etc.--anywhere where we are understood to be as beautiful as we are. Looking at modeling sites is similar; you're filling yourself with images of fat beauty, so they get into your head.

2. When you go out, look around you, and imagine that some number of the men and women around you--I use 10% as an estimate I read somewhere--think you're gorgeous. This one helps me enormously. I love looking around and wondering who the secret fat lovers are.

3. Looking great is a big one. I'm *incredibly* fussy about my clothes--no wrinkles, no spots, no anything--because it's too easy to look sloppy if you're fat. Love your clothes and enjoy it!

4. Posting pics or vids here helps a lot of people, me included. If I feel in need of positive feedback, posting a pic does wonders.

5. If you like reading, reading some sassy fat positive books or blogs, or some sensuous fat erotica, really give me a renewed, more positive outlook, too.

Hope that helps!

Oy. Chat is a 24-hour under 30 playground. Most often under 25. I am quite happy in that environment--if I weren't, work would be *hell*. (I teach at a university.) But it is sometimes nice for us rotting, old, decrepit types to share each other's company.

I'm intrigued when I see something out of the norm--all the moreso since I started modding the video section, but many people watch all of them, I assume, even though I didn't until it became my assignment.

Something creative, something different. That's a big plus, I think.

Also, this might just be me, but there's something about a lot of fast motion, like the jiggling ones, that seems anti-sensual to me. I guess I think sensual is slow and takes time.

In general, I want to see people touching themselves the way I want a lover to touch me--does that make any sense to anyone else?

For those of you who haven't noticed yet, we have a new event on Sunday evenings. Every Sunday at 10:30 PM GMT, we will have an event especially for members 40 and older. Think of it as a virtual cocktail hour, where we serve drinks, hors d'oeuvres, and charming conversation.

It won't be difficult to find, even if you aren't used to chat. If you come into the main chat room, click on the 'Rooms' button in the upper right hand corner of the chat screen. You should see a list of different virtual rooms, one of which will be the Soiree.

If you're 40 and older, please do come join us.

If you're not yet 40, don't be jealous. Your time will come. And though we're wildly desirable, we will deign to chat with you all other times of the week.*

If you have any questions, or thoughts about how to improve this event, please don't hesitate to write me a PM on the site.

See you tomorrow!!!
{hugs} Juicy

*Please note the dripping irony and don't respond with things about being unfair to younger members.

I want to make two points about this, and I'll try really hard to be succinct:

1. One sees what one expects to see. If you feel negative, you see the absence of what you want. If you feel positive, you see its presence. Really trying to do a head count of who you come across might help. That doesn't mean there are people in your neighbourhood that are just waiting to be cherry-picked, but there are happy people of the kind you want to see, if you choose to see them.

2. This is very much a matter of the social context, and therefore a political issue in the larger sense of the term. Those of you who are complaining, ask yourselves these questions:
--are you reading fat activist literature? are you participating in size liberation stuff?
--when people say fatphobic things around you, do you counter them?
--are you out to your friends and family as FAs, or as happy fatties?
--are you confident about your preferences, and do you act on them without shame?

This is a fatphobic world, and that makes our lives harder. But if those of us who care about fat people, who enjoy being fat and/or being with fat partners, don't act, the fatphobia will change. It is up to EVERY individual member of this site to, as Gandhi put it, be the change you want to see.

Don't moan unless you're doing everything you can to make the world safe and happy for fat people. [And DO start participating in the Fat Liberation forum!]

There are some available on clips4sale, I'm fairly sure.

I don't think this is a small interest; rather, I think that (as a *sweeping* generalisation) women are less inclined to make videos of their partners than men. I think there are a number of great BHM/FFA couples here, including Shuefly, PiercedPrincess, ChrisVersion2, and I'm sure I'm missing other obvious active folks.

Just convince them to make some vids for ya Well, for all of us!