This has been my observation too, and I think it has to do with the different ways modern society treats men and women. Men are told that their worth depends on their bank account. Looks aren't considered as important, so you don't get hounded as much about your weight.

Women are told that their worth depends on their looks. From the time we are little girls, we are constantly fed a narrative of "skinny is pretty, fat is ugly". Even when we want to make a living with our brains or our hands, conventionally pretty women are often hired sooner and treated better by superiors. In many cases this is an unconscious bias rather than deliberate action.

It takes a lot of introspection, finding the fat acceptance community, and a willingness to take risks in order for a woman to embrace her fat. I had an advantage in that I had years of therapy for depression, and one of the things my therapist worked on me with was learning to love myself just the way I am.

Most women never get that. It's a hard, hard thing to let go of the fantasy that if I can be thin, I can be happy. That the ONLY way to be happy is to be thin. And the worst part about that fantasy is that it sounds plausible but it's made of pure lies. Changing your body's size and shape won't necessarily make you happier. You have to examine yourself, your mind and emotions, to figure out what will really make you happy. If it's something taboo, like a love for delicious food and soft fat on yourself or your partner, embracing it will be a big risk.

So yeah. That's my amateur psychologist opinion of why you find so many more men than women in the FA and feedism communities.

Ooh, this sounds delicious! I love Buffalo chicken anything.

My blood pressure is now in the high range, ugh. I plan to do more yoga; if sumo wrestlers can fight and stay fat, I see no reason why I can't do yoga and stay fat. Hopefully that will help enough to get it back down into the 'normal' range.

It may seem a bit counterintuitive, but she should take up swimming. Not only is it fun, post-swim munchies are INTENSE. I always try to schedule my swims to end right before mealtime because without fail, I will get out of the pool and be ready to eat the fridge bare. She doesn't have to do laps the whole time, I sure don't. Float, do cannonballs (fat people cannonballs are the best!), dive for those weighted sticks or rings at the bottom. As long as most of your body is in the water you'll be building up that hunger.

And being exceptionally hungry helps you eat more than you normally would before the body's "FULL" signal goes off.

Do you have a good Indian lunch buffet nearby? Most American Indian restaurants lean heavily toward Punjabi-type dishes with delicious creamy sauces. Before I moved I went to the Indian lunch buffet at least once a week... not the most cost-effective, but so yummy and fattening! The manager and owner love me, hahaha!

You might also check out family-owned Chinese restaurants. (i.e. not Panda Express) Most that I've been to serve lovely huge portions, perhaps because it's meant to be eaten family-style.

And if you have the time, get into cooking! The fat cook stereotype exists for a reason. Particularly baking, once you get the hang of it your own homemade cookies will be both cheaper and tastier than the ones at the grocery store. Plus you can have cookie dough this way! This is my favorite baking blog: sallysbakingaddiction.com/ The Soft & Thick Snickerdoodles are to DIE for. Soft little cinnamon-sugar-butter pillows of love and calories!

I don't even want to imagine what my friends and family would say if I told them! They would probably stage an intervention or something. And really, my sexual preferences are none of their business. The only people who know are those I've met through the online FA and feedism communities.



I felt the same way in my extreme dieting phase! Everyone was cheering me on, telling me how pretty I was, guys were hitting on me... and I just felt so small and vulnerable. Seats were harder, I got colder easier, I bruised more severely. I didn't feel like me when I was thin.

And I hear you about eating with family! I don't dare eat until I'm completely full when my family is around unless there's a big party or football game or something to distract them from my plate. (Or unless it's Thanksgiving or Christmas. Even the chronic dieters go all out for those.)

Thank goodness my friends are understanding, none of them say a thing when I chow down at a buffet. One of them even gives me her extra food at restaurants, she's a petite person with a tiny appetite and doesn't like to waste food. I love going out to eat with her!

Until I got into the 250+ range, I actually didn't eat more than my much smaller mom and sister. I think it's partially due to me jacking up my metabolism with diets in my teens and early twenties, part genetic (most women on Mom's side are chubby and pear-shaped), and part the medications I started taking at 13. If I was following mainstream portion sizes and nutritional guidelines I would still probably be hovering around 225 unless I did seriously hardcore dieting and daily cardio.

But, well... I like to eat. I decided that I would rather be happy and take the risk of dying young than be miserable and live to 100. And once I decided to stop dieting for good, to eat whatever I want (within my budget) and only stop when I feel full, I slowly got fatter and fatter.

I don't usually stuff myself; I don't find that sensation enjoyable. But over time I've found my portions gradually increasing. Now I can eat almost twice as much as my mother and sister without feeling uncomfortable!

Do I? Not when I'm around family and there isn't a big party or something to distract them from watching my plate, but when I'm alone or with more understanding company, hell yes. The freedom and comfort of a full belly is incredible after so many years of depriving myself.

I started waddling a few months back. My thighs are huge, like gotitwantit. Lately I've noticed that it's getting much harder to put my foot up on the opposing thigh to buckle my sandals or put on socks. There's too much fat on my legs! I have to bend over and do it on the floor, which presents its own problems in the form of my belly.

Go slowly, OP. It's less strain on both your mind and your body. Nibble throughout the day, and have a midnight snack right before bed. Make sure to still include fruits, vegetables, and whole grains in your diet alongside the fat, sugar, and carbs. You can make them into yummy fattening things like strawberry milkshakes or vegetable korma! But you do need the vitamins and fiber.

If you have the time and money for ingredients, consider learning how to cook the things that you really love eating at restaurants. The stereotype of the fat cook exists for a reason!

When most car seats started getting uncomfortable for me. I am very pear-shaped, so my butt, hips, and thighs take up a lot of space. I have to sit with my butt and hip hanging over the far edge of the seat, if I try and sit squarely in the middle the seat belt buckle digs into my hip. Larger vehicles tend to be more roomy, but most people I know have smaller, more economical cars.

And when the bathroom scale said "ERR" when I tried to weigh myself. It had a 300 lb capacity!