Oh man, that is one of the worst books I've ever endured. But it could be because I don't generally read that genre. I'd be interested to know what you thought.

Awwww!

Totally understand your pain.

But here's the thing - Salt is right.

The only person who can mend your heart is you. The only person who can guarantee you happiness is you. The only person who will ALWAYS be there for you through thick and thin (haha literally and figuratively) is you.

Sorry if that sounds harsh but the only wisdom I have to pass on to younger women is just that: you make your own happiness - don't ever rely on someone else to give it to you.

When you are truly self-confident and at peace with who you are, if you also happen to find luck, love and success then that's fantastic, but those things don't make or break you. If you find a gorgeous, sincere and loving boy to make a partnership with then that's the icing on the cake, but if you don't, or if after 10 minutes/months/years of happiness he leaves/dies/disappoints you, then you still have what's inside you to rely on to get you through adversity and to become happy again.

Try this book: www.amazon.com/You-Can-Be-Happy-Scientifically/dp/0273763903. It's written by a proper professor of psychology at Oxford University so it's about scientifically proven ways to enable yourself to become happier. Little things you can do every day that make a real difference (not a bogus self-help book).

Also this. All those couples you see who seem deliriously happy? They're not. Being in a couple sometimes sucks. It's hard work and emotionally draining at times. It's compromise and negotiation all the time. It's just a different set-up to being single - it's not a panacea for all ills, it brings its own challenges and problems, and it definitely won't make you happy if you're not already. Your partner can't make things better when things go wrong, they can't always support you in the right way.

I used to think that some people really have it sorted. You see their partnership/marriage, home, job, kids, whatever, and you think they've got it right and you haven't. But I guarantee you, lift the lid on their inner workings and you'll find people who are just as screwed-up, lost, unfulfilled, but for different reasons. No-one's perfect and no partnership is perfect.

I don't mean to sound depressing, because all these things are perfectly dealable with if you have the right attitude. There's ebb and flow in life and you gotta roll with the punches, and celebrate what you have. You're gorgeous, intelligent (I can tell by the way you write) and by virtue of being on this site, probably a lot more in touch with your sexuality than a lot of women your age.

Make yourself good friends and a support network. They are more likely to be able to help you through low periods than a partner, in my experience.

Go girl! I have faith in you!!

Ha, ok, so not only does he leave out any niceties like, "Oh hi, I like your picture so I was wondering, what cup size do you take?" - or even a basic sentence structure like "What cup size are you?" but he fires the same message out, scattergun-style, to loads of people? Awesome! Bwahaha I wish him luck! If you ever hear of him getting a (positive) response from anyone, be sure to let me know as I'd want to poke that lady with sticks to check she wasn't a bot.

So I got a message today from a 20-year old male (I'm 42) which was straight to the point, just two words:

"Cup size??"

Now if a 20-year old lad came up to me in a bar or club and said that, I'd pretty much consider slapping him, or maybe if I were being kind, telling him to f*ck right off. What is it about the internet that makes people think that's an acceptable opening line?!

(BTW I'm not saying he owes me anything for being twice his age, I'm just saying... inappropriate!! and... weird).

OK, but as Ruby says above, some people have difficulties with spelling. I'm a grammar and spelling Nazi too - believe me, I feel your pain. But I don't think you can lay dow the law. You can only say what doesn't float your personal boat. There is also a whole generation out there who, like it or hate it, use txt spk as a matter of course. It's normal for them and we're not going to change that. They probably think we're right old fogeys for not using it.




As Ruby says, you're somewhat hoist by your own petard here.



Well, that's me out. "Its just gross" should be "It's just gross". Nothing worse than apostrophe errors. But that's just me

Yep bring it on. Sexy as. Skinny boy stuffed, fat boy with a big belly... it's all good as long as it's round and firm enough to... hmm I'll leave that to your imagination.

Rigby and Peller of course.
www.rigbyandpeller.co.uk/