JN_TumLover56:Well everyone it seems that my own confidence has taken a bit of a hit.
I have recently watched the “Fit vs. Fat” women edition of Middle Ground by Jubilee on YouTube.
youtu.be/u4gEBRSKi2EWhile I did though that it was a pretty decent conversation and it was something that I mostly agreed with what was being discussed, not to mention it gave me that sense of delight how both sides agreed on certain topics. But the comment section though… quite the opposite.
Now this isn’t the first time nor the last that I have seen this before, especially in a Jubilee video when they talk about fat people. But this time it really ended up ruining the whole mood for me with people commenting about how “blind” and “delusional” the people on the panel were, plus the good old “obese is unhealthy” comment that everyone familiar with by now. And of course there was people saying that too many people were making up “excuses” especially for saying how they used to think like so when they were fat. Oh, and I think a lot of people know that the hardest critic of fat people are those who used to be so… or most of the time.
Now yes there were some positive comments (or at least ones with a bit of nuance) of that video. But let me tell you at least 89% of them had a bit of a negative tone to them.
Even I tried to put in a well thought comment on it. Here’s actually what I said:
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“Now I’ve said something similar to the one where they had with men… but one thing that I’ve learned from watching this (and that) video and from personal experiences, no body is ever alike nor perfect. Sure health stuff does matter, but it should only be taken for personal reasonings not for anyone else outside of the matter.
I know many people have questioned body positivity in recent times, but there’s one thing that I’ve always stayed loyal to. Is that body positivity is choosing positivity and to learn to be grateful of your own skin and flaws. And whether or not if I wanted to change… I’m still thankful that my features are what make me, myself! ❤️ Now I do acknowledge that there’s nothing wrong with losing weight, but it’s ALSO nothing wrong with being okay with yourself without changing yourself physically. After all self acceptance is just as important as self improvement! There’s a fine line between losing weight for looking after your wellbeing versus keeping up with social beauty standards.”
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As of right now it currently has about 25 likes (last time I checked). But compared with all the other comments that I have seen that had hundreds and thousands of likes, especially from the formerly fat people who have commented… I was like “How do you compete with that!” and I just completely exhausted myself mentally from seeing all of that.
Now I’m not trying to get myself feel validated, not at all. It’s more about getting my message out there hopefully to find some nuance or something like that. I do acknowledge that not every comment in that video is considered a hate comment when they are really being more critically truthful.
Either way it made me feel small and not really good about myself. Maybe it’s because I care too much, maybe it’s because of me liking bigger women I worry that one day I’ll face a reality that they won’t exist anymore or be banished from society. Or perhaps it’s a reminder that people like me belong under a rock.
Now I apologize if this was a long post. But I do have a lot to say about it. 😅 I know that it also sounds a little downbeat but I think it’s because well it is a pretty deep topic. I bet the comments of this thread is gonna be interesting! I will always like bigger women and I will try to bring some of that kind of nuance to be an ally to plus size women. But in today’s social climate, it’s getting difficult!
Anyways thanks for coming to my TED talk.
