Bigdoug:
I think you’re referring to what’s called a fat pad in guys and a fupa in women. Yes, my fat pad definitely has grown when I gain.

Morbidly A Beast:
fupa is gender non specific it’s just that some guys were insecure calling it a fupa cause the general idea is it’s “fat upper pussy area”

And I could of sworn I responded to this thread last night

Munchies:
I am not being mean to you. I'm being blunt as hell, but this is far removed from me being mean to you.

Ask the others. They've seen me being mean before.

But I said what I said. It's nice that y'all have talked about why you feed her, but you haven't talked about your shares concerns with her body. You yourself have said as such.

I am in a long-term D/S relationship with my feedee. We have no secrets from each other. We might take some time to sort our thoughts out, but we talk about everything with each other in an open, honest, non-confrontational way. Good, bad, and ugly - this includes issues we have that aren't the other's fault.

Look fam. I have seen my fair share of relationships. I know what works and what doesn't. And I have seen tons of relationships just like yours come through here all the time. So I say with confidence that the only way to handle your specific situation is to have an open, honest conversation with your wife, respect her boundaries, and talk to your therapist to help guide you through.

If you do anything else, it leads to break downs in the relationship. I've seen growing resentment, mental break downs, relationships becoming toxic or outright ending, and a lot of other things.

Nate Loves His BBW Wife:
You tell me to go to therapy, I am.

You tell me to communicate with my wife, I am and I'm getting better at.

You tell me I haven't communicated my concerns with her, after I spent a cuddly evening with her a couple days ago telling her everything I liked about her body and telling her what I'd miss while my head was laying on her bare belly, something you would have no way of knowing.

I'm heading out to get dinner right now but we were both giggling 10 min ago as I suggested I could just feed her Skittles and cupcakes, but I'd need to run to the store for the cupcakes. It's going to be 2 grilled chicken tacos btw.

You are talking at me like you know me. You don't. I don't know where this is going to end up and I am probably going to have a range of emotions as things change, and it could be a while.

I was hoping to connect with people that might better understand what this feels like, but I'm already bogged down in this.

Please, begging you... Something to help me stay calm and feel sane or stop communicating with me. I'm stressed enough already without having to make my case to you.

Munchies:
And this is where things went wrong. You and your wife are not communicating. You can ask for tips on how to do that, but until you two have an open, honest adult convo you are screwed.

Nate Loves His BBW Wife:
Again, have been working on that in therapy, and it's getting better which is why I know how she feels now and she knows why I brought candy, cupcakes, and donuts home all the time and why I always had the first one ready to put in her mouth. Because I am getting better at communicating and being able to have conversations that I couldn't before.

I came here looking for some kind of support. I don't know your issue with me, but please stop communicating with me if you can't say something helpful or supportive in a nice tone.

Thank you

PolyPinoyPuppy:
I'll note that many practices provide teletherapy, and in my experience that's more convenient anyway. But I digress.

OP, your wife's disdain for her body is something you can only help with by accepting her choices over the matter.

I understand the conflicted feeling you express. But every person has their own reasons for wanting to gain or lose weight. My partner is accepting of my kink and we enjoy it in what ways we can, but health issues make losing weight the better option long term. Their weight loss hasn't impacted our relationship negatively, and if anything it's something to bond and cheer them on about.

I'd suggest thinking hard about whether you really would be that devastated if your wife lost weight or if this emotion is just a run-of-the-mill aversion to change. If I had to guess, you'll both end up just fine.

Nate Loves His BBW Wife:
I keep forgetting no one has probably read my other post. I cover that. Out of time now, back to this later.

---Edit: copied from other post---

I'm going through something that's kind of similar if you squint. My wife of nearly 10 years (together 15) is going to start one of those new weight loss drugs this month. I am being supportive of her decision and have meal plans and options ready for her. I've listened to her goals and done research into what targets should be set/hit to get her there. I not leaving her over this, regardless of how this turns out.

That said, I do have my own feelings about this, and thankfully I was already in therapy long before this decision was made.

We never had a feeder/feedee arrangement, but rather a dynamic that served her inclination to eat and my desire to make sure she had food and see her eat it. She'd ask for a large MCD's order and I'd skip out the front door with a huge smile to get it. I'd bring home a tub of peanut butter cups that she'd asked for and watch her binge almost the whole tub. Everybody happy.

Problem was we had never talked about it or how we felt while we were engaged in this dynamic. She seemed to enjoy eating whatever I'd brought so I didn't see the guilt and shame she felt. She saw me as a dutiful husband running errands for her, never imagining I could be feeling excited and aroused to pick up lunch.

Sorry for so much typing, but I'm here for support too. I can tell this stuff to my therapist but I think it will be different talking with people who really get it.

Nate Loves His BBW Wife:
My wife doesn't like her body, and wants to lose weight with one of those new drugs. She's ~315 now and hasn't been under 260 since we started seeing each 15 years ago. It breaks my heart to see her have such distain for her body and I want her to be happy, but I feel so conflicted because I absolutely love her size.

Is there a place here to talk this through with people that really understand what I'm feeling, maybe have gone through the same thing.

I really don't have anyone to talk to that understands my side of this, so thanks in advance to anyone who reaches out.

Munchies:
There is such a place. It's called therapy.

Milhause:
I don’t know how this was intended, but there are a variety of reasons why “just go to therapy” isn’t always a viable option, whether for financial or geographical reasons. I myself live in a mental health care desert where the nearest providers are hours away and cost prohibitive.

OP, I’m not a counselor but if you need someone to vent to, feel free to message me.

Nate Loves His BBW Wife:
My wife doesn't like her body, and wants to lose weight with one of those new drugs. She's ~315 now and hasn't been under 260 since we started seeing each 15 years ago. It breaks my heart to see her have such distain for her body and I want her to be happy, but I feel so conflicted because I absolutely love her size.

Is there a place here to talk this through with people that really understand what I'm feeling, maybe have gone through the same thing.

I really don't have anyone to talk to that understands my side of this, so thanks in advance to anyone who reaches out.

SomeFella:
Deadlifts sound like a great idea. Thanks! I'll give it a shot.

LoLbreadplease:
Deadlifts killed my back! I have resuscitated it with laying on my back on the floor with legs straight in the air and breathing deeply into my core, other core strengthening, pushups, walking and yoga/stretching. Not more deadlifts.

But that's just my experience. Other poster is right about staying active.

Yamilia:
Idk how I haven't seen this sooner but yeah like my main "goal" is to be 700+ pounds fatter, but like I just wanna get fatter so 1000 pounds does sound beautiful x3

KennyMenny:
That's fucking amazing!! Please go for the 1,000 plus goal with me. We will both be more likely to get to it if we encourage each other and don't let each other give up before we even get there. Are you interested in being with me and doing this together for real, baby?? Please follow me and message me if you want to try this. You can call me on whatsapp at 314-239-5334 if you want to and we can video chat and make plans for our future together. I hope you will at least consider doing this in real life with me. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🍔🍔🍔🍔🍔🍔🍔🍔💯%

Belly Got Me:
Or when taking a picture you’re going to post on here, does anybody else get aroused by their own body? Hopefully that’s an ok way to say it!

Thick2bbw:
Trust me, I want to gain and be big. But I want to do it slowly and enjoy the journey. So please any advice on my following plan:

Continue my normal meals just get an extra serving and drink a soda to every meal.

Every night before bed, ice cream chug.

Snack time that will be considered healthy in public: peanut butter (I usually will eat a few spoon fulls at work)

Make every fast food meal a large and go from having zero meals a week to at least 2 a week. (Will increase once I am bigger).

And lastly: stuffing on the weekends. I am loving stuffing myself to the point I cannot move. But it has to be on the weekend since it will be impossible to do it on the weekdays due to work.

Let me know what you guys think or if I should add anything else. Would love to gain at least 5 pounds a month. (Please don’t push for me to gain over 20 pounds a month).