ForeverFFA:
I agree with Morbidly A Beast and used to be really painfully shy myself so I think I can offer some more advice: conversations will feel stilted unless you are willing to bring a bit of your own personal truth to them, which sometimes means taking small social risks. No one in the world finds friends without also meeting people who strongly disagree with or even flat-out dislike them.
Best of luck!
Thanks for the suggestions!
I heard that the closer we are to authentic, the more polarizing we become - some will be MORE attracted to our company because their interests align with our interests. Others will be further repelled as they clearly see that our interests don't align.
I guess I have to not worry about outcome and let outcome take its course.
Thank you!
11 months
Letters And Numbers:
My technique is to talk to people who are more interesting than me (which is a lot of people ) and be a really good listener. Hear what interests them and don’t be passive, but be an engaged listener. Then, steal their power, Shang Tsung style, and use that energy in your next battle. As you collect more and more souls, you can rise to become the greatest warrior of the earth realm.
Ha! +100 "FINISH HIM" answer
11 months
I think I'm a really good listener. I genuinely enjoy listening to people talk, and I'm usually pretty good at keeping a conversation going once it starts.
But I'm admittedly TERRIBLE at proactively reaching out and making connections with new people - both in person and online. I'm not on this site for any dating or romantic reasons - I just like connecting with other FA, FFA, and NBFA folks. However, I tend to overthink things, so I tend to stick to really safe stuff like, "So you like cats, too, huh? Um.... Cool." (Which feels really stilted and awkward in a Chris Farley kind of way.)
Anyway - was hoping that some of you could give some pointers on ways that introverts could start a conversation online that doesn't come across as either creepy/weird or like a job interview.
11 months
Lasagna - because I have orange hair, and I'm a cat.
Lol - jk - I think I would most closely identify with a bacon cheeseburger. A bit salty in some sections, but consistent and savory. (Also round with a nice set of buns?)
11 months
I love reading all of these responses.
It means a few different things to me:
1. Being fat is physically attractive to me - if I hear someone described as "fat", my reaction is immediately positive about that person and I already have a positive inclination/impression.
2. Touch and feeding are my love languages - I am attracted to fat people because there is literally more of them, and any weight gain that is the result of my feeding/encouragement is a physical indication of someone receiving my love.
3. Intentional fatness and weight gain are "metal" as hell - to reject a lifetime of cultural norms and to embrace fatness is an awesome sign of confidence, rebelliousness, or undeniable indulgence. This is an amazing turn on, and excites the part of me that resists my obedient and unassuming upbringing.
11 months
There really are some terrific bibliophiles in here! Loving this thread so far - watching with interest!
Personally I'd love to see Peter Watts or Dan Simmons do a science fiction take.
11 months
Kacchan:
Would you please elaborate on this last paragraph? I'm genuinely interested by what you mean - what type of fatphobia did you encounter in your self?
Greentrees8733:
Sure! Here's an example: one time, I was walking in town and noticed I was uncomfortable because I was sucking in my gut... but why was I doing that in that situation? I reflected, and realized that I was trying to avoid being perceived as fat. Why was I trying to avoid it? Apparently, to some degree, I'd internalized socially dominant narratives about being fat = bad.
So I instead decided to be propaganda and walk around being my actually fat self.
Does that kinda get at what you meant?
Yes - thanks! I completely understand - it's hard to shake social norms, even when we make a decision to move away from them.
11 months
Greentrees8733:
,,,
I can’t say that I was anxious about “crossing the line”. Presently, I do sometimes experience some mild anxiety from being a fat person living in a fatphobic society. Gaining also led me to encounter unconscious/internalized fatphobia I didn’t think was there. That’s been eye opening.
Would you please elaborate on this last paragraph? I'm genuinely interested by what you mean - what type of fatphobia did you encounter in your self?
11 months
Greentrees8733:
,,,
I can’t say that I was anxious about “crossing the line”. Presently, I do sometimes experience some mild anxiety from being a fat person living in a fatphobic society. Gaining also led me to encounter unconscious/internalized fatphobia I didn’t think was there. That’s been eye opening.
Would you please elaborate on this last paragraph? I'm genuinely interested by what you mean - what type of fatphobia did you encounter in your self?
11 months
