All 3 of my relationships (including my wife) that have had an active gaining element resulted in significant fat distribution and shape changes when anaerobic exercise was introduced.

High calories and being generally active seemed to result in what most call a "thicc" look. As the previous statement mentioned, thighs and asses appear to gain both muscle and fat.

There is also a lot of increase weight, which if you like the feel of a heavy partner that's great. It also purportedly can mean less of the perceptive health issues related to being big with the exception of lower body joints.

However the down side is more calories are needed.

As an FA but without too stronger draw to any body type from chubby and up I've actually found this preference/fetish a strength.
Being "overweight" is more prevalent now than being at a "healthy" BMI [and not to get sidetracked but the HDI of increasingly obese nations rises in step along with longevity] but that aside, I live in a world that now my wife has gone what most women do as they age andaybe have children and grow in weight and size, I find her increasingly attractive. The more she relaxes, the more responsive I naturally become.

I have a chubby chasing slightly older gay friend/neighbor who's in the same boat, hes I'm a log term relationship with a man who has over the 14 years they've been together has porked up and his feedback has not been negative.

I'd note neither my wife or my friends partner have ever been pushed and in the case of my wife, she hasn't changed her habits. She's still active, she just hasn't stopped eating like she did in her late teens to mid 20s.

As metabolisms change and slow to assist the storage of calories easier many (most in african and european heritage people) people get fatter. To have a partner that feels more attracted to what naturally happens only makes for a safer feeling within he relationship and hence is more likely to have better mental health as the home environment remains "safe".

So as an FA i would not like a switch.

However, if I were a gainer/feedee, I do not know if my answer would be the same. I know my mother who was a sports professional and a lot of her friends clearly have competition and body issues and there have been some hard landings for them as they have aged: they are all now in their 60s and to have competed at the onset of the steroid age and in the midst of the cold war created a hyper competitive, hyper aesthetic within them all.

To always feel I want to change my body in a certain way (whether through eating or training) and to not be able to stop that feeling, and if that way was not natural to my own predisposition, and, for that to be potentially detremental to my well-being, wether joint, cardiovascular or mental health; I could not consciously say I wouldn't want to be able to stop those feelings my some quick and non destructive means.

Never noticed a difference. Parents, siblings and myself are all very fit but had a very mixed range of family friends. I guess after a few early dates there was a clear pattern. It's hard to define but imagine after the first few times you have found someone attractive, do you note the hair color, or personality type, or eye color?

It was like that for me. I have friends who without realizing have strictly dated blondes without thinking about it. It's just their type is clearly blonde. I have friends who won't date anyone who won't debate them, hard, on a subject. Again they aren't aware that there's a required label like the recently coined sophophilic (or correctly sophoerotic).

We put a lot of emphasis on the very very recent labels on preference, behavior,gender and sexuality but ultimately we are unsure if they form I'm a punctuated manner on the onset of chemical sexualization or if they develop over time in a weighted sense such as: try fat - positive experience - score up fat.

I think over the last 22 years since my first sexual experiences i've just had more fun with fat partners than with thin ones hence it's not a punctuated "first" but more a graduated confirmation.

West London Physio in Kensington used to be good (haven't been in a number of years). They dealt with a bariatric client of my friend for back pain. He was a big guy and had sciatic pain, don't recall any complaints

A friend of my wife's went from about 170(ish) lbs to 268 in the first 4 years of going vegan.

From memory, it was a lot of bread, hummus, advocados, pastas with vegan sauces and any number of vegan deserts.

She was (haven't seen her since we moved back to Europe) a massive snacker and always ate vegan coconut macaroons with her coffee which she also took very sweet with hazelnut milk.

She also was a fan of this vegan dimsum place in Chinatown NYC. When we went I noted that they used a lot of different proteins from tofu to straight gluten and the seasonings contained white sugar along with aromatics and soy etc.

Another high calorie bar snack I recall her been keen on when she used to go to the local mexican was vegan cheese nachos which was tortilla chips, guacamole, refried beans , salsa and a coconut based melted cheese on top.

If you're looking for calorie rich vegan foods from Africa, look at using beans for making what in nigeria is called akara. They're a bean paste fried sort of pancake that you dip in a sort of corn porridge. Loads of calories for breakfast there.

A lot of the unhealthy gainer stuff is vegan too: transfats, white sugar, high fructose corn syrup so watch out where you're sourcing your calories from if you want to avoid these.

Definitely, at the behest of an ex who struggled the other way around. I convinced her that my comments about her body weren't empty platitudes and that it's an actual kink/preference to see her eat and grow and be happy in her gourmandism. She liked being big but went through stages (especially when pressured by her doctor father) of being told her weight was disgusting and reacting terribly to her own large appetite.

We saw different counsellor to talk about the issues of revulsion and shame that come with all kinds of body image issues.

The main takeaway I got is that anything that is deemed as self destructive by society can cause feelings of shame. The issue arises in what is really destructive.

My parents were both sports people and I'm the 80s owned a chain of gyms. Their "models" and trainers were all seen as the epitome of health but ultimately due to low fat and over exercise, they are being more destructive to themselves than most gainers.

Having a person as a mirror and being able to explore your mixed feelings about anything you do, from this sexual preference to morally questionable actions at work can really help and also might allow you to draw more clear lines as to what your actual preferences are and how to work with them in a settled way in your life.

It's a fairly lonely place, however if you are active in the online community and use spaces like this to find or arrange small IRL meets it becomes easier.

Also be open with sexual partners who might fit your type but not your kink. It's surprising how often happier memories of meal times in people's youths/infancy can often translate to some kind of feeding/gaining kink that is just not manifested.

Not everyone finds a perfect match in life but, a fear of actively seeking it can be a significant barrier.

One of those shower bidets is great. You can get them pretty cheap on Amazon. What I would avoid is a cheap amazon purchased bidet seat for the toilet. We had one and a larger friend cracked it moving forward off it.

let's keep the thread alive until stuff hopefully blows over

Our long time friends. The way he praises both his wife and mine for their "appetites " when we go out together. His wife (a long time friend of my wife ) has got from thicc to very big over 7 years. Im guessing that guyanese culture is less fat phobic as his mother seem to be equally proud of how big she has become.

It's odd as we've never spoke openly about preferences despite being close friends for 12 years now.

Odder still considering that the friend that we met through has complete transparency on my preferences and we often meet up together whenever were all in the same city