C'mon folks--this is a topic that should provoke a bit more thought. It would be good if we thought about this some more and then perhaps someone would edit the Wiki page. I've never done, ad I'm sure there are lots of folks here who have!

One of the things I don't like about the entry is that there are a range of opinions on the health issues from among, for instance, Health at Every Size docs, nurses, and nutritionists, and from other thinkers and critics. There is, for example, no distinction in the entry between physical activity and weight, when many people think the evidence is much more strongly linked to activity than weight.

But other thoughts, folks? C'mon--surely it matters how people talk about us?

So, I was poking around, and came across the entry on Fat Acceptance in Wikipedia.

As a scholar, I'm all for balanced presentations of issues, so I'm reasonably certain I'm not being fussy or defensive about this, but the entry sounds anti-fat to me. Take a look:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fat_acceptance_movement

What do you all think? Is it simply balanced, or is it overly sure of the health risks of obesity, and overly negative about the movement? I'd love to hear people's thoughts.

No idea. But I would consider two very different possibilities.

1) You're saying something, telling some story, making some kind of observation, that sounds ok at first but is upsetting on further contemplation. I always make the first date with folks I meet online "no sex", precisely to give myself that time to consider everything.

2) You happen to be running into women who are not ready to move into a serious relationship. I know it seems unlikely, but you might just stop and think about this. Are you dating younger women? perhaps early 20s? Maybe they're just not ready.

I'm sure others will think of more reasons, but these are at least a start.

I see what you mean, now that you say it. It came up when I googled Jupitus, so I just took it at face value, but I didn't read the page. Shall poke a tiny bit more and report anything interesting back.

But look here, y'all. I was hoping for some pictures!

Calling all appreciators of the large male form:

There was a thread a couple of years back encouraging us to post our favourite big boys, including pics if we had 'em. I came across this pic of Phil Jupitus tonight because I was watching *Never Mind the Buzzcocks*, and he looks heavier than ever. So I went to Google Image and found this gem.

I hope Phil and I will inspire you to post pics of your faves as well!

I adore this on fat guys, though it does look like size loss. Dr Oz told men on Oprah that they'd gain an inch for every 35 lbs they lost. I never seem to have trouble finding those hidden inches, but maybe that's cuz I like what they're hidden in.

Hey, Shaz. I think this is a question of ratios. On someone my daughter's size, 8 st in 4 years would be shocking--72% of her weight. On me, it would be VERY noticeable--45% of my weight. (And potentially great fun, but that's another matter.) On you, it's a lot less so, because it's a much smaller percentage.

But I just think if you're active, none of the rest of it matters. And you look fabulously gorgeous. So, what the hell? Blow him off. Tell him your health is your risk to take.

My own guess is that in both directions, people would be shocked by our gender cohort. I've heard stories from men about women's behaviour that makes my toes curl, and some of the things men say to me seem like they must be a parody of bad behaviour.

And if anyone reads the forums for a while, there are absolutely regular rants in both directions. What might be really useful is for both 'sides' to occasionally start a thread with examples. It might be instructive for people who are doing it badly and would rather learn something.

I agree with all the limitations everyone has described here, and I want to add one more:

It's too easy to blow someone off online. All relationships hit rocky points, and individuals hit rocky points where they don't want to deal with others. And in those moments, people online just disappear. They ignore the person they professed to love just a few days ago.

The ease of behaving badly makes this medium not conducive to a full-blown relationship.

I disagree with my fellow mods, though I find both of them generally brilliant and sexy and all 'round amazing guys.

I think this post was random and silly and fun.

But I have a guy questions for you to ignore, seth: why on earth do men find porn exciting? I certainly can enjoy watching people have sex, but if they seem like they're made of cardboard and are unable to display even the slightest interest in each other, meh.