I think there are two sides to this, you are both right, feederism is very private, since it is directly connected to sex (as least in my own experience and many people that I have seen), but the reason that it is private is not natural, it is because it is such a huge taboo and people are scared to do this in groups. even social. I did an experiment last year in the BBW bash, where I asked people to meet up, in a small group. Nothing strange, just talking about it, socially, no feeding or even eating involved (because I know that this is too far out) just people that are into feederism being able to see that other people into this are normal everyday people. I even offered that people could PM me, so we could meet in private, not in a group. almost 500 people read it, 1 (!!!) person responded. It was a little silly, the reaction looked like I had suggested something totally obscene.

I can remember being like this too, a long time ago, thanks to my website and the people that write me everday through it, reading my stories and the feedees I have met in real life and also fattend up, I have come out of the closet and am no longer satisfied to live this online and virtual. The internet helps big time, but it is just not real. Not real as real life. But one thing I think is great: I would not have met these people in person and been able to build long lasting friendships without the internet, since there is no way in hell, ever, that you can find out if somebody is a feeder or feedee when you have no clue if they are in real life. Asking them face to face would be the height of risky, so without hte internet, I wonder how much people would actually meet in real life. It is hard to find like minded people with the internet, without it, it would be virtually impossible. I'm trying to build up a group of people into feederism here in the San Francisco Bay area (really the totally worst area, as California is super fat averse). I see that there are groups going already in England, as FF is based in England, so it is possible.

For me feederism is a precious wonderful magical thing and I want to help feedees grow, as well as help other feeders help theirs grow, as well as be in contact with other feedees, as I am a feedee too, because we are in this all together. And if somebody grows, gets fatter, it is important that people that accept this and like it witness them. I know that if I grow, I want to be seen. Growing is just something really wonderful and it should inspire people. In a group like this, you can see that process. Knowing that somebody is a feedee, they might also feed themselves and you can see how they gain.

I have to say I usually have a strange experience when entering a chat room. I say hello and then see if I can engage a group of people or an individual into a conversation and notice that everybody seems to be talking about some subject that I have no clue about, but they seem to be totally into. My further efforts keep being ignored, eventhough I am polite and try not to be too trivial or superficial. I love good conversation and regularly have total dynamite cool chats one on one with the IMs, but never in a chat room. It seems weird, a cacophony of disjointed conversations. I guess that is why I don't like it much. Sometimes I wonder if that is because in a chatroom, nobody really pays much attention, since there are no faces. No respect is required, people probably do another 5 things at the same time or are spaced out. Very different than in real life, where in a group, if somebody is talking to you, you would probably not read your texts on your phone at the same time. Maybe somebody that had more luck can enlighten how I could create my experience better.

Yes, statistics would be interesting. I have researched the subject of feederism since over 12 years and I am still trying to figure it out. I know that there are many more feeders and feedees out there that we can possibly imagine. Food and sex are nothing really strange, they are naturally connected: food is good and necessary and wonderful and the same for sex.
I think the internet has helped us a lot, but there is a factor that it helps people hide too. The majority of feeding seems to happen in peoples head and online, not in real life. Real life meetings are still hard to do, there are many fakes and people that know they will never live this out in real. For me as a feeder and feedee that has been out of the closet for many years a very frustrating fact that I have come to terms with. Eventually, feederism will be mainstream, and accepted. But currently, it is probably like the gay movement in 1955: everybody is hiding and scared to show themselves, fearing to be discriminated or marginalized for their likes.