Iridescent Pearly:
I live in Seattle, it’s been a nightmare and I’ve been pretty much blacklisted myself from the feedism community here because I don’t fit into the clique.

But where do I start? Expensive food, high cost of living, full of health nuts, soda tax?

If I were to move where would you recommend?

Bigwideland:
A constant intake I find is more conducive to gains. Increasing it over time. As three meals.

And I as like a day of snaking, every half hr or so, they is also a way to be lots of calories in one day.

None the less I like to have a bigger feed to test my capacity as well, so both I guess.

BigBallBellyGirl:
Agreed re: constant intake. I find, if I want to gain A LOT, it's helpful to do a giant stuffing day, enough to push my weight up ten pounds on the scale, and then to continue eating big so none of the weight drops off. It's how I've achieved some of my biggest gains ever

Strayguard:
If you're in a situation where your partner cant or isnt into feederism or if you got no partner at all, what do you do to overcome the urges that come on every once in a while? Is watching stuff online enough for you? Or do you do things like chatting with community members? art? onine feeding? talk on forums/discords, etc.

Just wanted to see how other ppl overcome these things.

Go4theGold:
So, I definitly find women with big bellies hot AF, but I also find thin bellies attractive. Really, any woman's belly is attractive to me. Fat, thin, pregnant, etc. Is this especially common? I'm curious to find out.

Kacchan:
While I'm inclined to agree with Munchies, we ARE out there... It's possible that you've found a feeder who is enjoying the opportunity to feed you a bit while he's there to help your grandmother.

You could indirectly test the waters a bit to see his reaction. For example - after the next enormous meal, thank him and then say something like, "You know, I think that if I was here more often than just Mondays and Wednesdays, this amazing cooking of yours might start to add up. Am I going to have to upsize my wardrobe?" If you do it with a laugh and a smile, you'll come across as complimentary of his cooking and not necessarily as a feedee. But... it would leave the door open for a possible "That wouldn't be the worst thing in the world" type response.

It's unlikely that he's a feeder... but it's possible!

Munchies:
Personally, I wouldn't go out of my way to message people unprompted about that.

That's courting trouble.

PearLover:
Cool. You do you.

My aim here and elsewhere is to make a positive contribution.

PearLover:
Just before I started this thread, I had sent a respectful message to someone telling them that they might have better luck finding a feeder if they changed their profile to state that they were a feedee as the text of their profile clearly indicated that's what they were. And as I proceeded through my search results, I found another profile with the same issue.

I agree that there should be an option for undecided (or maybe "curious" ) and I also think that should be the default. Or maybe instead of a single selection, use check boxes because some people will be into more than one fetish. That's a design issue beyond my control.

But for those who are are looking to connect with others having a complementary fetish, you're not going to get the results you want if you mislabel yourself.

In addition to that, it would be good to put some description of yourself beyond just the basics. I have seen profiles here and elsewhere with the person explicitly saying that they don't want generic responses and not revealing anything else about themselves that could be used to open a conversation.

Maybe it is laziness. If that is the case, you should expect to get responses in kind and proportion to your efforts. That's how the universe works.

Canuck:
munchies, if laziness is really the biggest issue here, it could be solved just by changing the volume to "blank" or "undecided."

your comments around people learning about a community before diving head-first into it are a good observation... back when i first discovered the world of feedism, probably the late 90s, it was such a tiny online community (because most of the world was still offline at that point), this wasn't an issue because everything was so basic. there was dimensions online and maybe one or two other destinations, and the "glossary" was pretty up-front. now there are a lot of spaces with slightly different angles - ff isn't the same as curvage, which isn't the same as feabie, etc. etc... plus the plus-size, body acceptance, (etc. etc.) movements have all added layers of complexity and different lenses...

(it's not a bad thing at all, it's really blossomed in fact... but with that blossoming come opportunists, too...)

Canuck:
keep in mind, this isn't a dating site. how someone shows up in a search is not a concern for a lot of members, because they're not "seeking" another person. we're here for the discussion, the chat (for the chat itself), the stories, etc.

it you want to select potential partners based on a set of filters, try a dayting app like wooplus. it's how my partner found me.

Munchies:
I don't think that's what OP is talking about.

There's a specific user flavor on here that I come across a lot. It's not gender-specific, either. These people will put in just enough effort in their profile to fill it out partially, but then, despite being strictly feedees, not take the two seconds to update their kink from feeder (the default) to feedee.

Then, when interacting with others on the site, they get confused as to why others are treating them like a feedee.

There are a couple of reasons for this.

1. Non-native English speakers that mixed feedee and feeder up.

2. Being lazy.

The first group gets a pass, but the second?

Oy very.

Istg, they are annoying. And they always act so entitled too. Like you feeding them is a gift to mankind when you just wanted to make conversation.

PearLover:
Munchies, I am in complete agreement with you. Thank you.

Bigwideland:
I have a idea, for a restaurant. It is.for gainer and feeders. The concept is to have fat friend feeding booths, and you can just walk in by a meal for a complete stranger and watch them eat it. The person identifying as the feedie and select a style of feeding, and is indicated. So the buyer may only watch, watch and ask question, and last level encourages. How awesome would that be. Clearly some security to protect people’s ideanty would be required.

How cool would that be. What do you think could it work or just become weird?