My own guess is that in both directions, people would be shocked by our gender cohort. I've heard stories from men about women's behaviour that makes my toes curl, and some of the things men say to me seem like they must be a parody of bad behaviour.

And if anyone reads the forums for a while, there are absolutely regular rants in both directions. What might be really useful is for both 'sides' to occasionally start a thread with examples. It might be instructive for people who are doing it badly and would rather learn something.

I agree with all the limitations everyone has described here, and I want to add one more:

It's too easy to blow someone off online. All relationships hit rocky points, and individuals hit rocky points where they don't want to deal with others. And in those moments, people online just disappear. They ignore the person they professed to love just a few days ago.

The ease of behaving badly makes this medium not conducive to a full-blown relationship.

I disagree with my fellow mods, though I find both of them generally brilliant and sexy and all 'round amazing guys.

I think this post was random and silly and fun.

But I have a guy questions for you to ignore, seth: why on earth do men find porn exciting? I certainly can enjoy watching people have sex, but if they seem like they're made of cardboard and are unable to display even the slightest interest in each other, meh.

*is seriously, seriously jealous*

I couldn't agree more.

I think one of the problems is people like FemFeedr--hi! ltns! good to see you around --and I are applying older social rules to online communication, which is developing it's own set of social norms over time.

I was surprised by some of winterstocking's list, but I have to agree that you can't presume people have logged on intentionally, or will remember to put 'away' or 'busy' notes up, or that they'll feel comfortable or obliged to write hours or days later.

I think we have to learn to have thicker skins online. And that's a very mixed blessing indeed.

If you don't mind subtitles, there are a lot of great films out there. For example, there was an outpouring of brilliant films from Iran for quite a while, from directors like Makhmalbaf and Kiarostami and others... The censorship made them work in allegories, some of which are quite beautiful.

You don't. You hope she enjoys it and decides to do so because she thinks it's fun and it pleases you. But you can't convince her--she either wants to or she doesn't, and it's her body.

I think you're all overlooking the legitimate problems some of us have.

If I post a face pic, and a student sees it, then our relationships is FOREVER changed, even if s/he never tells me s/he saw me here, or knows my kinks, or anything. I can't have an appropriate intellectual relationship with a student if our sexuality is in the room with us all the time. (*THAT* is why it's against the rules, along with the possibility of taking advantage of authority.)

I would happily post a face pic if I worked in an office. So have a little consideration for those of us with legit reasons, please?

OK, this leads me to a question. I know there are a lot of people--some feeders/feedees, some not of this community at all--who are turned on by mess. If this is you, help me understand? I kinda get the pleasure of different textures, like wallowing around in Jello, though don't expect to see me doing it. But spilling food? Ewwww.

Help?