Dan34:I’m a male feeder 24 and my gf 22 weighs 317lbs and I would love for her to keep gaining but I am starting to see the health implications of the weight gain, so my question is when should I just accept how big she is and not encourage her to gain more.
Thanks in advance
Munchies:Experienced extreme feeder here.
Ignore everything that Emitrack has told you. It is some of the worst advice that I have ever seen.
What you two need to do is sit down and talk about things. You both need to discuss the short-, mid-, and long-term goals you have for your feedist relationship. You need to discuss what her limits are, what your limits are, what kind of support she expects , and what you are capable of giving her.
Being the feeder of an extremely large, barely mobile person is not easy. The less she is able to do, the more she will depend on you. How much of yourself are you able to give? Will it have any impact on your relationship? Does she have plans if something happens to you and you are not able to give her your support?
If she isn't happy with the level of mobility she has, do not push her to lean into it. That's a terrible idea, and your relationship will suffer. In fact, as her pain gets worse, she will start to associate you with that pain. It will not end well.
I would highly encourage her to work on her mobility. If walking is too much pain for her, then she should look into aquatic exercise/therapy. The water will ease the pain in her joints and make the process far more pleasant. If she doesn't want to head to the pool since it's getting cold out, she can do sitting mobility exercises as well.
Dan34:Thank you, we have spoken about a lot of things, I do most things around the house anyway as once she gets home from work she is too tired to do anything (despite it being a desk job
. She never seems to want to do anything to get moving so I will have to work on that with her I suppose.
Munchies:As someone who used to be a caregiver, I can tell you that this arrangement is not sustainable. It is a recipe for caregiver burnout and resentment.
If she is too tired to do anything after working a desk job, she needs stress management, better nutrition, or a combination of the two. My partner was 500 lbs at his highest weight and still made sure to keep things neat. It might not happen that same day, but he ensures it gets done the next day.
Obviously, you can't expect her to do the same things you do. But she should be able to do
something.
Dan34:I may have misrepresented what she does slightly she does some things around the house but I do big things like the weekly shop because she just can’t manage a supermarket anymore. But I really don’t mind I love her no matter what not just because of her weight
Ah, well, that's different. If the workload is balanced between the two of you, that's what's important.