Why are people so angry at fat acceptance movements on the internet?

Ditzy:
Usually the nasty comments come from progressive people that get upset that you don't live your life the way they think you should.
At least for me its been that way.
The guys I hunt and do pew pew sports with never say anything mean or hateful about my weight.
Lots of truth about people being rude just to be rude.
I don't hold back when it comes to rude people,I can dish it right back and make them wish they hadn't opened their smart mouth.


This is your reminder that your politics do not necessarily make you a good person.
1 year

Why are people so angry at fat acceptance movements on the internet?

Rrrawrgh:
For me, I think it's a jealousy issue.

Can you imagine someone has worked very hard to stay thin (constantly counting calories, planning meals to hit nutritional goals, hitting the gym, etc.) and then they find people who are both happy with themselves and other people find them attractive?

They get mad that they put in all this effort to feel that way when fat people didn't have to do any of that. The choice mentally is between "I've taken all this time and effort to be 'attractive' and it turns out I didn't have to." or "FAT people are terrible".

Which do you think is easier to accept for yourself?

Morbidly A Beast:
Maybe for some it’s like that but I wouldn’t past people to just want a outlet for being rude for the sake of being rude


You are both right. Some people enjoy being an ass. So they will go out of their way to be an ass.

Others have their own insecurities and issues so they project them onto other people.
1 year

Regretting the gains

Morbidly A Beast:
I just don’t put much stock in other people when it comes to this stuff other people are flakey skiddish maybe just in the realm of fantasy but for the real people actually getting fat or are fat it’s a completely different world we gotta exist in and it’s simply not worth basing your worth or validation on them. A feeder may or may not exist in your future and that has to be something you grapple with.


I understand. But I suppose that's the difference between being a gainer and being a feedee.
1 year

Is this fetish permanent?

Malvineous:
Here's my theory. From what I've read, the way memory works in your brain is by creating a neural pathway for the event. The more your brain travels that neural pathway (the more you think about it), the stronger it gets, and the easier to access next time. This is why people can easily forget what they had for breakfast yesterday, but they still remember things they had to memorize in school when they were 10 years old, even if it's knowledge that they don't find useful in their daily lives. In the first example, they only thought about it while it was happening and never returned to that neural pathway, whereas in the second, they had to think about it a lot, so they permanently made that memory strong in their minds.

I think fetishes work in a similar way. They create a neural pathway of a trigger, like 'fat = arousal', and the more that gets triggered in their brains, the stronger that connection becomes. Your interest in it may come and go (just like you can go years without thinking about a specific memory), but that connection is permanent and there's no way to weaken it. I think if you don't want to have certain fetishes, your best bet is to not expose your brain to them in the first place.

X_Larsson:
Mostly yes, but I have a bit of objection here. As western society is now (like so many other civilisations before us!) is now in a stage of moral decline, hedonism and depravation, we see the same pattern happen as in the roman empire, or the greek reign. This means a worsening normalisation of fetishes and kinks, which in turn means an ever growing exposure to normally repulsive, or at least unusual, scenarios and relations.

Compare the post 2015 world to what life was like in 1985, heck even in 1995! We did not have bearded "women" winning the Eurovision Song Contest, pride parades everywhere, SLEWS of mainstream movies about gay people, a massive promotion of body mutilation, BDSM, tattoos etc. Don't get me started on the pronounce debacle...

Now, everyone is just supposed to "accept" and "support" all these (objectively) rare manifestations, and they are given a huge display, front and center in so many places.

However, all the adult people in my social and professional circles, myself included, remain as disinterested and/or put off by this as we ever wore, in spite of the massive exposure.

So in some ways, we are not always becoming curious about, or more prone to deviations, even if we are repeatedly exposed to them in many different situations.

For me personally, the way feedism manifests, as well as what constitutes an ideal feeder/feedee couple relationship, has not really changed even after decades. That is also what other male feeders have stated about themselves.

However, like Malvineous says, it is not uncommon that people with certain fetishes add more fetishes to their sexual deisres, as they grow older / get more experienced in their previous fetishes.

For me, this is another indication that feedism itself is not a fetish (manifestation of sexual desire in an object, ie shoes or BDSM leather outfit), but rather a sexual identity, like homosexuality.


Who hurt you?
1 year

Regretting the gains

FatFalcon:
Most guys also want me past my intended weight goal of 300-350lbs which I am not going to put myself through that. One guy wanted me to get to 500lbs. I can’t do that without risking my health. Too extreme if you ask me.


I understand. I'm an extreme feeder that got my partner up to 500 lbs. This was a mutually agreed upon decision. As sexy as it was, it also came with a host of health complications.

Some people are perfectly happy at 500+ lbs, but it's not for most people Most feedist tend to cap out around 300 - 350 lbs anyway.
1 year

Regretting the gains

Morbidly A Beast:
It seems like everyone gets to goals and they just seem to blow past em like I get it be careful don’t go to crazy… I just don’t understand from my perspective at least I will be fat and always will be fat now I don’t know how you can come to regret gaining weight did you regret eating all the food that got you to this weight?

I have no experience with gay feeders at all let alone straight female ones but to me it’s like what came first chicken or the egg situations if this post didn’t make sense sorry

FatFalcon:
I’m actually wanting to gain. The problem is though is that I get discouraged. Here’s some examples.

1. My goal is 300-350lbs weight wise. I’m in the middle weight wise as skinny fat. Having a partner would make up for that

2. I’m not big enough or muscular or fat enough.

3. I’m in the middle of eating and I get a message from a guy on Grommr that constantly annoyed me most of the time and it got so bad that I just stopped talking to him altogether because he was ranting about ice cream throughout the entire conversation while I’m eating snack cakes. Especially Little Debbie snack cakes.


Like seriously it’s really off putting when trying to eat and someone is trying too push you to buy ice cream. I would buy some the next time I go to the store.


Then the rant was over scales because I haven’t weighed myself yet. I explained that I don’t have scales yet to weigh myself and he was ranting about that. And the last time I weighed myself was in February of this year I was 190lbs

So I’m thinking about gaining and seeing how much weight I am pushing for. I may have to go it alone.


Lemme guess. While he was pushing you to get ice cream, he expected you to buy it on your own dime too.

I understand that there's a whole debate on whether or not a feeder should pay, but I believe that if a feeder is making a specific food request that the feedee doesn't have, then they should be willing to foot the bill.

I know I do it when I want my partner to eat something specific.

That aside, don't be afraid to block people who don't respect your boundaries. Your mental health will thank you for it. This guy sounds controlling. There's a difference between being a dom and being a manipulative, controlling ass. Sounds like Grommer guy is the second one.
1 year

Gaining weight as an incredibly thin person

Johnxyz:
You can try to gain weight, but be aware that weight is far more complicated than calories in and calories out. Some fat people were never meant to be thin, and some thin people were never meant to be fat. The body's regulating system tries very hard to keep things as they are. Also, some thin or normal people who finally break through and start gaining cannot stop. Some people just wanted to gain 50 pounds ended up close to 600 pounds and still gaining. So, be careful what you wish for.


Eh, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Sure, the things you discussed are real, but most people are fine. It sounds like OP has a high metabolism. He's 25, 5'10", and 135 lbs. He needs to eat a lot just to maintain his current weight - forget about gaining. This is not to say he can't gain weight, but it will be harder for him.

That said, he's approaching 30, when most people's metabolism starts slowing down. So we shall see what happens then.
1 year

Regretting the gains

Morbidly A Beast:
It seems like everyone gets to goals and they just seem to blow past em like I get it be careful don’t go to crazy… I just don’t understand from my perspective at least I will be fat and always will be fat now I don’t know how you can come to regret gaining weight did you regret eating all the food that got you to this weight?

I have no experience with gay feeders at all let alone straight female ones but to me it’s like what came first chicken or the egg situations if this post didn’t make sense sorry


Eh. That's not quite true about the limits. Don't get me wrong; it's not unusual to adjust your goals. However, many people have hard limits. Often, these hard limits are due to health, comfort, or aesthetics.

I'm an ex-gainer. I started out at 115 lbs with a goal weight of 140 lbs. Once I got there, I bumped it up to 150, then 160, and finally 200 lbs as my hard limit. But along the way I realized I liked being muscular more than fat and completely lost interest in gaining.

A good chunk of gainers and feedees don't want to be 300, 400+. A lot of them want to be chubby or "small fat". They have a hard limit and stick to it.

It's also not unheard of to regret your gains. If you talk to enough feedists on here, you'll understand why. Common scenarios I've seen include:

Not doing the work to undo your internalized fatphobia (common with the fit-to-fat or thin-to fat crowd)

Realizing you prefer fantasy to reality

Gaining recklessly (common with those that develop health issues or have no lives outside of feedism)

Gaining to please a partner without being into the fetish yourself

Mind you that this isn't a comprehensive list. There are a thousand and one different reasons why someone might regret getting fat. Honestly, the main reason why I'm so active in the forums is to help minimize that regret for others.
1 year

Regretting the gains

FatFalcon:
Well the guy that I was talking with wants me to be 500lbs but my goal weight is 300lbs. So I want to just not do it because my health is more important and I feel like that is where the one sided conversation comes in. I don’t want to risk my health beyond 300lbs. Yeah I want to be happy with someone who will make me happy. That’s why I am thinking about backing away from gaining.



I want to feel more at ease with gaining but not be told to gain more than what I want I am accustomed to,


Do whatever makes you happiest. If you have a hard limit, then a feeder worth their salt would respect that.

It seems you haven't met a feeder worth their salt yet. I'm sorry that this has been your experience.

Either way, I wish you the best of success in all of your endeavors.
1 year

Going on a cruise to stuff ourselves all day

Wifestuffer:
My fat wife really wants to sail on a cruise line. She's proud and confident in her huge body, knows I want to fatten her as much as possible, loves food travel and culture (used to be a travel agent!)

Her wattling to the pool in a skimpy bikini getting swallowed in all her rolls of blubber, eating so much she gets exhausted from the effort of gorging herself, and studying culture all the while.


That's interesting. I wouldn't think she'd risk getting stopped because someone thinks she's naked, especially since she's Japanese.
1 year