Out of food
ChubbyGainer77:
I'm struggling hard rn. No money for groceries and idk what to do
Munchies:
Do you have employment?
ChubbyGainer77:
Not rn. Just recently lost my job and it's been rough getting any response on my apps.
I'm struggling hard rn. No money for groceries and idk what to do
Munchies:
Do you have employment?
ChubbyGainer77:
Not rn. Just recently lost my job and it's been rough getting any response on my apps.
Do you have unemployment?
1 year
Out of food
ChubbyGainer77:
I'm struggling hard rn. No money for groceries and idk what to do
I'm struggling hard rn. No money for groceries and idk what to do
Do you have employment?
1 year
Playful comments about your size
My partner said this about himself.
He had wavy hair. I love the texture, but he doesn't. He prefers to keep it short so it doesn't get too poofy.
One day, I said to him, "It's a shame that you get a hair cut right went your hair is getting wavy."
His reply? "My body is already wavy enough. I don't need my hair to be wavy too."
He had wavy hair. I love the texture, but he doesn't. He prefers to keep it short so it doesn't get too poofy.
One day, I said to him, "It's a shame that you get a hair cut right went your hair is getting wavy."
His reply? "My body is already wavy enough. I don't need my hair to be wavy too."
1 year
Regretting the gains
FatFalcon:
So I am definitely going to have to check out FetLife eventually. But so far my experience so far has been downright abysmal. I have had two guys trying to make my stomach a punching bag. It’s infuriating trying to find someone decent to talk with without being one sided. Grommr makes me feel like I should even pursue gaining altogether.
I’m at the point of just giving up gaining all together but I feel like it’s a burden doing it alone and for yourself. It’s really depressing when you can’t even find someone who is gay that’s actually into this.
So I am definitely going to have to check out FetLife eventually. But so far my experience so far has been downright abysmal. I have had two guys trying to make my stomach a punching bag. It’s infuriating trying to find someone decent to talk with without being one sided. Grommr makes me feel like I should even pursue gaining altogether.
I’m at the point of just giving up gaining all together but I feel like it’s a burden doing it alone and for yourself. It’s really depressing when you can’t even find someone who is gay that’s actually into this.
I imagine your experiences as a gay feedee with gay feeders to be comprable to any woman with straight feeders. You have my condolances.
They're not all garbo, but it's hard to find those that aren't.
If you wanna stop gaining because of all this, then more power to you. I just think it's a shame because getting fat is something you love.
1 year
Eating healthier
NoMoYoYo:
I am now two weeks into my healthier gain. What a difference. I haven't been perfect, but I have cut out most of the fast food I had been eating and some of the junk too. I've also added some exercise.
Its amazing how quickly I've felt better. I've also noticed my belly becoming much softer.
I will continue this strategy and see where it takes me. I am pretty sure I will not gain any weight this month and thats okay. I'd rather remain fat and be more healthy than to continue the route I was on and get to a point where I had to lose weight again.
Munchies:
Some of that firmness reduction is due to a reduction in inflammation. A lot of junk food causes some level of gastro-intestinal inflammation. When it gets out of your system, much of that inflammation goes away. The same is true for fluid retention.
NoMoYoYo:
Interesting. This is obviously a good thing.
Now I need to find a way to up my calorie intake. Fast food and junk have tons of calories and is super easy to eat. Healthier foods fill me up quicker. I would like to get back up to 3000 calories a day, but am managing low 2000's right now.
My goal of 275lbs is in sight and I would like to get there possibly by the end of the year - about 2lbs a month.
Munchies:
Little things add up over time. Snacking on nuts, using sauces or full-fat dressing on your food, or adding cheese is a good way to add calories to food without feeling too full.
Over time, you'll be able to eat more food. But this is fine for now.
NoMoYoYo:
I eat nuts regularly. Usually mixed, but sometimes peanuts. I like cheese too. I think my problem is now that I've added more fruits and vegetables I feel fuller, quicker.
I think what I need to do is pick a calorie target and try hitting it daily. Then in a week or two add 100 more. Hopefully, by doing it this way I can eventually reach 3000. Or whatever number it will take to gain some weight.
You're right, this is fine for now. I went hard for the better part of nine months. I should probably take it easy for a bit.
My problem is I love gaining. I have to change my mindset and realize I'm fat now. It's okay if I don't gain at this moment. But it's hard.
Munchies:
Definitely give yourself some time to recover. Maybe a month or so. Don't worry about your calorie intake or the scale during this time. Take a "whatever happens happens" approach. At the end of it all, reassess.
NoMoYoYo:
Awwww, but, but, but.......fine lol
Not gonna lie, it's not going to be easy. I worry that if I take my foot off the pedal, I may not want to start again.
I am now two weeks into my healthier gain. What a difference. I haven't been perfect, but I have cut out most of the fast food I had been eating and some of the junk too. I've also added some exercise.
Its amazing how quickly I've felt better. I've also noticed my belly becoming much softer.
I will continue this strategy and see where it takes me. I am pretty sure I will not gain any weight this month and thats okay. I'd rather remain fat and be more healthy than to continue the route I was on and get to a point where I had to lose weight again.
Munchies:
Some of that firmness reduction is due to a reduction in inflammation. A lot of junk food causes some level of gastro-intestinal inflammation. When it gets out of your system, much of that inflammation goes away. The same is true for fluid retention.
NoMoYoYo:
Interesting. This is obviously a good thing.
Now I need to find a way to up my calorie intake. Fast food and junk have tons of calories and is super easy to eat. Healthier foods fill me up quicker. I would like to get back up to 3000 calories a day, but am managing low 2000's right now.
My goal of 275lbs is in sight and I would like to get there possibly by the end of the year - about 2lbs a month.
Munchies:
Little things add up over time. Snacking on nuts, using sauces or full-fat dressing on your food, or adding cheese is a good way to add calories to food without feeling too full.
Over time, you'll be able to eat more food. But this is fine for now.
NoMoYoYo:
I eat nuts regularly. Usually mixed, but sometimes peanuts. I like cheese too. I think my problem is now that I've added more fruits and vegetables I feel fuller, quicker.
I think what I need to do is pick a calorie target and try hitting it daily. Then in a week or two add 100 more. Hopefully, by doing it this way I can eventually reach 3000. Or whatever number it will take to gain some weight.
You're right, this is fine for now. I went hard for the better part of nine months. I should probably take it easy for a bit.
My problem is I love gaining. I have to change my mindset and realize I'm fat now. It's okay if I don't gain at this moment. But it's hard.
Munchies:
Definitely give yourself some time to recover. Maybe a month or so. Don't worry about your calorie intake or the scale during this time. Take a "whatever happens happens" approach. At the end of it all, reassess.
NoMoYoYo:
Awwww, but, but, but.......fine lol
Not gonna lie, it's not going to be easy. I worry that if I take my foot off the pedal, I may not want to start again.
I wouldn't worry about it one way or another. Whether you hop back into the saddle or not depends on your mindset. If you are worried that taking care of yourself for a month will make you lose interest, then it's a good opportunity to do some soul-searching.
1 year
The long wait
Wackaroni:
I hate feeling like I don't know where to find a relationship with somebody who understands me and shares my desires. Sure, there are sites like this, but sometimes its hard to see it in a romantic way when there is a lot of focus on fetishy stuff (no judgement), both here and on Feabie. Maybe I am too sentimental about things like having some perfect story about how I met somebody, idk.
I want to find love in the real world but I always fear rejection, and I am horrified about being honest about my kinks and preferences. Over time I just feel like I am more prone to going online just because I don't know what else to do.
People say love finds you, but I don't think passivity and waiting is getting me anywhere. It just seems like there is my entire life, and then this other part of it that is hidden away and totally separate. It really doesn't feel right to have to be so secretive, but being seen here isn't what I would consider to be the most flattering in the eyes of the many people that I know.
Munchies:
I don't know. There's some truth to love finding you. I met my partner after a five-year dating hiatus. Neither one of us was looking for love, but it happened.
This is not to say you should sit on a stoop and wait for someone to approach you. That's dumb. I think it's best to work on yourself so you are date-ready, put yourself out there, and don't force it.
Wackaroni:
It may be a hyperbole for me to describe my state as sitting around and waiting. I guess I have gotten bored of constant self improvement, because I feel like it is so repetitive to have to grin and bear it all. Like yeah, how many times do I have to clean everything up and work out and take care of my body before somebody else just recognizes me for all of the things that I do? Sure, I can easily find joy in solo pursuits, and I love to experience joy with my family and friends, but this one part of my life always feels empty and it often feels like I am just swimming to keep my head above water, trying to be stronger than it. Like, when can I share some of these things instead of it feeling like it is just for me, and that I always have to be the source of my own validation? After a while it feels fucking insane.
Then I have moments where I surrender to it and accept that this loneliness is just a part of who I am, and I guess that is okay in the sense that I can see that I don't need to be stoned outside of the town wall for it. In the spirit of being 'real as fuck' though, it sucks. It is exhausting to deny the fact that I feel miserable.
I have been working to be in a state where I feel like I can put myself out there, but its always just around the corner. Maybe I need to see that this "corner" I am coming around is more like a roundabout where I am just running in circles, following this infinite edge.
I hate feeling like I don't know where to find a relationship with somebody who understands me and shares my desires. Sure, there are sites like this, but sometimes its hard to see it in a romantic way when there is a lot of focus on fetishy stuff (no judgement), both here and on Feabie. Maybe I am too sentimental about things like having some perfect story about how I met somebody, idk.
I want to find love in the real world but I always fear rejection, and I am horrified about being honest about my kinks and preferences. Over time I just feel like I am more prone to going online just because I don't know what else to do.
People say love finds you, but I don't think passivity and waiting is getting me anywhere. It just seems like there is my entire life, and then this other part of it that is hidden away and totally separate. It really doesn't feel right to have to be so secretive, but being seen here isn't what I would consider to be the most flattering in the eyes of the many people that I know.
Munchies:
I don't know. There's some truth to love finding you. I met my partner after a five-year dating hiatus. Neither one of us was looking for love, but it happened.
This is not to say you should sit on a stoop and wait for someone to approach you. That's dumb. I think it's best to work on yourself so you are date-ready, put yourself out there, and don't force it.
Wackaroni:
It may be a hyperbole for me to describe my state as sitting around and waiting. I guess I have gotten bored of constant self improvement, because I feel like it is so repetitive to have to grin and bear it all. Like yeah, how many times do I have to clean everything up and work out and take care of my body before somebody else just recognizes me for all of the things that I do? Sure, I can easily find joy in solo pursuits, and I love to experience joy with my family and friends, but this one part of my life always feels empty and it often feels like I am just swimming to keep my head above water, trying to be stronger than it. Like, when can I share some of these things instead of it feeling like it is just for me, and that I always have to be the source of my own validation? After a while it feels fucking insane.
Then I have moments where I surrender to it and accept that this loneliness is just a part of who I am, and I guess that is okay in the sense that I can see that I don't need to be stoned outside of the town wall for it. In the spirit of being 'real as fuck' though, it sucks. It is exhausting to deny the fact that I feel miserable.
I have been working to be in a state where I feel like I can put myself out there, but its always just around the corner. Maybe I need to see that this "corner" I am coming around is more like a roundabout where I am just running in circles, following this infinite edge.
Emotionally and mentally healthy people are always trying to be better. You could be 90 years old, living your best life, and still trying to improve. But most importantly, you should focus on being better for your own sake. If you do it for the sake of others, that breeds resentment and emotional exhaustion.
Another thing to remember is there's a difference between being lonely and being alone. You can be with someone and still feel lonely. Having a significant other will not fix that, I promise you. However, you can be alone and feel content. A healthy relationship is about interdependence. You and your partner are individuals who decided to share your lives. If you expect your partner to make you not lonely, you deprive them of having a life outside of you.
This is toxic. Don't do that.
Instead, focus on being happy alone. Once you get there, you'll be a better partner to whoever you date.
1 year
Eating healthier
NoMoYoYo:
I am now two weeks into my healthier gain. What a difference. I haven't been perfect, but I have cut out most of the fast food I had been eating and some of the junk too. I've also added some exercise.
Its amazing how quickly I've felt better. I've also noticed my belly becoming much softer.
I will continue this strategy and see where it takes me. I am pretty sure I will not gain any weight this month and thats okay. I'd rather remain fat and be more healthy than to continue the route I was on and get to a point where I had to lose weight again.
Munchies:
Some of that firmness reduction is due to a reduction in inflammation. A lot of junk food causes some level of gastro-intestinal inflammation. When it gets out of your system, much of that inflammation goes away. The same is true for fluid retention.
NoMoYoYo:
Interesting. This is obviously a good thing.
Now I need to find a way to up my calorie intake. Fast food and junk have tons of calories and is super easy to eat. Healthier foods fill me up quicker. I would like to get back up to 3000 calories a day, but am managing low 2000's right now.
My goal of 275lbs is in sight and I would like to get there possibly by the end of the year - about 2lbs a month.
Munchies:
Little things add up over time. Snacking on nuts, using sauces or full-fat dressing on your food, or adding cheese is a good way to add calories to food without feeling too full.
Over time, you'll be able to eat more food. But this is fine for now.
NoMoYoYo:
I eat nuts regularly. Usually mixed, but sometimes peanuts. I like cheese too. I think my problem is now that I've added more fruits and vegetables I feel fuller, quicker.
I think what I need to do is pick a calorie target and try hitting it daily. Then in a week or two add 100 more. Hopefully, by doing it this way I can eventually reach 3000. Or whatever number it will take to gain some weight.
You're right, this is fine for now. I went hard for the better part of nine months. I should probably take it easy for a bit.
My problem is I love gaining. I have to change my mindset and realize I'm fat now. It's okay if I don't gain at this moment. But it's hard.
I am now two weeks into my healthier gain. What a difference. I haven't been perfect, but I have cut out most of the fast food I had been eating and some of the junk too. I've also added some exercise.
Its amazing how quickly I've felt better. I've also noticed my belly becoming much softer.
I will continue this strategy and see where it takes me. I am pretty sure I will not gain any weight this month and thats okay. I'd rather remain fat and be more healthy than to continue the route I was on and get to a point where I had to lose weight again.
Munchies:
Some of that firmness reduction is due to a reduction in inflammation. A lot of junk food causes some level of gastro-intestinal inflammation. When it gets out of your system, much of that inflammation goes away. The same is true for fluid retention.
NoMoYoYo:
Interesting. This is obviously a good thing.
Now I need to find a way to up my calorie intake. Fast food and junk have tons of calories and is super easy to eat. Healthier foods fill me up quicker. I would like to get back up to 3000 calories a day, but am managing low 2000's right now.
My goal of 275lbs is in sight and I would like to get there possibly by the end of the year - about 2lbs a month.
Munchies:
Little things add up over time. Snacking on nuts, using sauces or full-fat dressing on your food, or adding cheese is a good way to add calories to food without feeling too full.
Over time, you'll be able to eat more food. But this is fine for now.
NoMoYoYo:
I eat nuts regularly. Usually mixed, but sometimes peanuts. I like cheese too. I think my problem is now that I've added more fruits and vegetables I feel fuller, quicker.
I think what I need to do is pick a calorie target and try hitting it daily. Then in a week or two add 100 more. Hopefully, by doing it this way I can eventually reach 3000. Or whatever number it will take to gain some weight.
You're right, this is fine for now. I went hard for the better part of nine months. I should probably take it easy for a bit.
My problem is I love gaining. I have to change my mindset and realize I'm fat now. It's okay if I don't gain at this moment. But it's hard.
Definitely give yourself some time to recover. Maybe a month or so. Don't worry about your calorie intake or the scale during this time. Take a "whatever happens happens" approach. At the end of it all, reassess.
1 year
The long wait
Wackaroni:
I hate feeling like I don't know where to find a relationship with somebody who understands me and shares my desires. Sure, there are sites like this, but sometimes its hard to see it in a romantic way when there is a lot of focus on fetishy stuff (no judgement), both here and on Feabie. Maybe I am too sentimental about things like having some perfect story about how I met somebody, idk.
I want to find love in the real world but I always fear rejection, and I am horrified about being honest about my kinks and preferences. Over time I just feel like I am more prone to going online just because I don't know what else to do.
People say love finds you, but I don't think passivity and waiting is getting me anywhere. It just seems like there is my entire life, and then this other part of it that is hidden away and totally separate. It really doesn't feel right to have to be so secretive, but being seen here isn't what I would consider to be the most flattering in the eyes of the many people that I know.
I hate feeling like I don't know where to find a relationship with somebody who understands me and shares my desires. Sure, there are sites like this, but sometimes its hard to see it in a romantic way when there is a lot of focus on fetishy stuff (no judgement), both here and on Feabie. Maybe I am too sentimental about things like having some perfect story about how I met somebody, idk.
I want to find love in the real world but I always fear rejection, and I am horrified about being honest about my kinks and preferences. Over time I just feel like I am more prone to going online just because I don't know what else to do.
People say love finds you, but I don't think passivity and waiting is getting me anywhere. It just seems like there is my entire life, and then this other part of it that is hidden away and totally separate. It really doesn't feel right to have to be so secretive, but being seen here isn't what I would consider to be the most flattering in the eyes of the many people that I know.
I don't know. There's some truth to love finding you. I met my partner after a five-year dating hiatus. Neither one of us was looking for love, but it happened.
This is not to say you should sit on a stoop and wait for someone to approach you. That's dumb. I think it's best to work on yourself so you are date-ready, put yourself out there, and don't force it.
1 year
Do you assume your kinks and fetish in real life.
Wackaroni:
I should also apologize if I am just inserting myself in this discussion crudely, but the context helps. I guess that in itself is daunting to me, as it is difficult for me to imagine myself showing somebody something new and then them embracing it or coming to enjoy it. For me, I think I am open to new things, but I am pretty dead-set on what I consider to be my favorite in this context so I imagine that other people would be the same. Then again, I come from a past of a lot of rejection, people-pleasing, comparison, etc.
I should also apologize if I am just inserting myself in this discussion crudely, but the context helps. I guess that in itself is daunting to me, as it is difficult for me to imagine myself showing somebody something new and then them embracing it or coming to enjoy it. For me, I think I am open to new things, but I am pretty dead-set on what I consider to be my favorite in this context so I imagine that other people would be the same. Then again, I come from a past of a lot of rejection, people-pleasing, comparison, etc.
I understand. I'm an unconventional person with unconventional tastes. I also have autism and PTSD from my tragic backstory. On top of all that, I tend to be fearful-avoidant. (Shocking, I know.)
In my experience, the best way to have a happy, healthy relationship is to find the balance between open, honest communication and giving each other space. My partner and I know we can be upfront, open, and honest. But sometimes, we are going through something where we either don't have the words or aren't willing to talk about the issue immediately. When that happens, we give each other space. We trust that the other will open up about it in time.
1 year
