So many possible ideas, and a caveat.

The only major caveat I can think of, is that most snack foods of various sorts tend to be obscenely overpriced on Amazon. That sort of thing, buy it at the local grocery store. Never buy that off of Amazon. On to the ideas:

- Beer bongs (cheapest way overall to obtain a suitable funnel).

- Portable wheeled clothing rack to hang the beer bong/funnel from.

- Shower hose/shower hose switch/shower hose T-valve/sprayer (similar to the kitchen sink).
It's easier to spray areas the regular shower head won't really reach. In most bathrooms, the toilet is next to the shower. Without trying to over to top TMI, it's much nicer for when it's time for #2. Just use a half sheet of a paper towel to wipe up moisture.

- Hair epilator
It's annoying to contort like a gymnast to shave body hair every other day to every day, not to mention incredibly time consuming. It also only ever gets harder, the fatter you get. The results really do seem like waxing. It's SO worth it and so much insane bang for your buck it's not even funny. I don't really follow a set schedule but I think I only really need to cover most areas about once every 1-2 weeks. Recall that waxing means letting all your hairs grow to a quarter inch or longer; gross. Makes the week before waxing horrid. The catch is you can't really use it on genital or most facial hair, unfortunately.

- Armless office chair, though you're probably better off going to a used furniture store.

- T-shirts or crop tops that say "Always hungry."

- Underwear is generally stretchy, so you should almost certainly buy a size or two larger; gives you room to grow.

- Digital scale with a glass surface. It's rare to find one new that doesn't support at least 400 lbs.

- Cow print bikinis, if that's your thing.

- 1-2 items of clothing that are much larger, to kind of give you a goal.

- If you really want to try going hardcore, maltodextrin gaining powder (e.g. Carbo-gain). But beware.. if mixed with heavy cream or half and half it will clump up really bad and you can't drink it, so don't mix the two. And never go too overboard with it in general.


That's all I can think of for now. Not really sure what kind of responses you were hoping for.

Use scissors to cut the wrapping.

I see what you're trying to say, but "beer bong" is the term to search for, not "beer pong." On Amazon they're inexpensive, at least in America where the OP is located.

Beer pong is a silly high school and college drinking game where cups are arranged in a triangle formation at either end of a long table. Each cup has beer, filled up to maybe an inch or 2-3 centimeters deep. Players on either team take turns tossing ping pong balls (hence, "beer pong" trying to score by sinking them into the cups for the other team. If you successfully sink a ball into a cup, someone on the other team has to swallow/chug the beer in the cup and remove it from the table. Team members take turns being the one who has to drink the beer in each cup. You win by causing the other team to run out of cups before you run out. If you want an additional challenge, you use shot glasses because the top opening is smaller.

I want to say only one company even makes funnel gags because they're so niche and uncommon, but all sorts of companies sell beer bongs.

I think you answered your own question. Just don't ask, ever. At least you have the good sense of not doing that.

If he was asked, I expect he'd feel irritated, maybe taken advantage of, and even resentful. I know I would.

You can wish for it, sure. Doesn't mean he ever will, so don't hold your breath.


I would advise either focusing on cheaper food, or better yet, try to improve your financial situation. This could getting a raise from work, or a better job, either at the same workplace (possibly easiest) or another.

I'd say so. I'm actually amazed you can down all that at your size. I still can't eat an entire large thick crust pizza in one sitting, though I've been able to do if I eat some earlier in the day, and the rest later in the day. Thin crust pizzas are much easier, but that's less volume and mass.

Unless a "large" pizza from Domino's is smaller in the UK than it is in America. But even so, I think that's a pretty good sized order for someone of your current size.

Also moderately jealous, but also gratified that you're embracing this now. College offers an unprecedented opportunity to really get into this, because of the very high degree of scheduling flexibility you have. Alas, I denied myself for years, including college. While not impossible, it's more difficult when you're a bit older and have more demands on your time.

Offline

Sometimes, the older, time-tested ways still work. Maybe you meet someone through friends, or there's offline activities you engage in, where you might meet some folks this way.

And let's get real.. in 15 minutes, or even 5 minutes of talking to someone face to face, will tell you a whole lot more than weeks of sporadic online chat will tell you in all likelihood.

Even meeting folks at bars, coffee shops, bookstores, even retail and supermarkets still work. You really just never know what might happen.

And if you aren't engaging in any offline, in-person activities in your community and town, why not? If you're too shy or nervous, trying online probably won't help. If nothing like that is interesting to you, then odds are good you might not be interesting enough to hold someone else's attention, though not necessarily.

Unless folks in your area are very skinny in general, odds are as long as the activity isn't very physically rigorous, there are likely to be some others there who will be fat.

But whether online or offline, having some shared interests is nevertheless immensely helpful.

But if you don't explore offline possibilities, I expect you'd likely remain single for a long time. Usually someone can seem very different online, than offline. So oftentimes, while it may not be like starting from step 1 again, it'll be like starting from step 2 again.

Don't do it.. just don't. Be very skeptical. And for goodness sake, resist the urge to purchase a subscription.

I'll outline reasons why it's problematic, and some other things you can possibly do instead, alternatively.

Why Niche Dating Web Sites Are A Bad Idea

Like many multi-user online services, this kind of thing is very, very heavily influenced by a phenomenon known as "network effect," or "demand-side economies of scale." In a nutshell, it's the concept where a good or service is more useful to the customer and user, the more users there are of the service. This makes it very difficult for a new service to reach that point of critical mass. Good examples of this phenomenon in action is telephone service, messaging platforms, and social media platforms. If there were theoretically only two users, none of these examples of services are anywhere as useful as they would be with 10 users, and more useful still with thousands or even millions of users.

The Wikipedia article on the subject provides a good overview, if you wish to read more on it. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Network_effect

So, if something is too niche, that special point of critical mass, where near maximum utility is achieved for most users, is unlikely to ever be reached. As users become frustrated or discouraged by the lack of activity, they start to visit less and less often, until ultimately giving up. the problem is further exacerbated if it's full of very old profiles that haven't been used in years, which commonly happens when the failed web sites want to appear far larger than they really are.

If you insist, stick with something with a general audience for the largest possible reach.

Why Dating Web Sites In General Are A Very Bad Business Model

I studied business, but even if you haven't, it's not difficult to understand that most private enterprise is of the profit-seeking variety, where they don't just want more revenue, they want more margins (profits).

As it's much more difficult and expensive to obtain new customers, it's usually easier and cheaper to do what you can, within reason, to maintain existing customers, and foster repeat business. Ever wondered why so many retailers and other businesses have these various loyalty programs? That's why. Generally speaking, this is only possible if customers are happy and satisfied with the product or service, and consider it a good value.

However... dating web sites and matchmaking services are the only business model I'm aware of, where satisfied, happy customers stop buying, but repeat customers are not pleased and unhappy.

A happy dating web site user will stop paying for the service. A particularly happy user might never subscribe again. This causes a perverse incentive where they don't want you to be happy, or to succeed. Their "golden goose" user is someone who's perpetually unhappy, paying for the subscription for years and years. They have no motivation to try to match you properly. Even if they did, how the hell would they ever really know? Only you, and the other person can ever really know whether it might work.

It often seems like folks either forget about this, or they never think about it this way. So, I have to point this out.

But if it's such a bad idea, what can I do instead? Here's what you can do, online and offline, but it requires keeping an open mind and having realistic expectations.

Online

Online, there's still several things you can do.

There do exist dating web sites for the general public where no subscription is required to send messages to other users. I'm not telling you not to use them at all, but whatever you do, don't pay for a subscription or use a site where you have to pay to send messages. And whatever you do, keep low expectations. I don't mean having low standards, I mean low expectations that you might actually find someone decent for you this way. If you're worried someone might thing that "oh wow you're much fatter in person" don't give them that opportunity. Mention it in your description, or better yet take body profile pictures. Doesn't everyone deserve to get an idea of what they might be getting? I know it's something I appreciate, regardless of body type or size. As a bonus, if someone really has a problem with it, then guess what? You can cut to the chase faster, and not talk to that person anymore.

Of course, there's other online web sites for all sorts of interests out there, or other general chat mediums. Who knows? Maybe you'll get to know someone there very well and you'll hit it off. You could meet someone off Reddit, or IRC, or Steam, or some web site about a shared fandom. Anything where the primary focus is NOT dating or meeting people, but either general chat or shared interests.

Don't throw caution to the wind, but keep an open mind.

(cont'd)

Just looking at the screenshots, it should be possible to show more than 9 characters. Maybe 16 characters? Possibly even 20?

It might be possible to make more room for username length if the country flag could be on the same line as age, weight, and self-identified category.

But as a practical matter, it may not be possible to disable the truncation entirely. I'm not actually sure what the maximum username length is, for one thing. Disabling truncation would mean some usernames may spill over the sides, if the username is too long. Defining a different font size based on the user account logged in may be possible, but may require a substantial effort.