Good luck man! I wish you success! I is hard to find female feeders, as many can tell. Unfortunately, female feeder also have, as have we all, the problem that they still have to get out of the fat closet first.

But this is the place, if you will find any, it will be here.

Markus

Well, that is hard. I remember before I lived all this feeding dreams out myself and it was very frustrating. Now that I have done some, it is easier. I had not the constraints that you do, the only problem I got are feedees and feeders that live in closets (or a whole city and world of it ;-) and generally distance: when you find a feeder or feedee, they usually live on the other side of the country, which makes it pretty impossible to live this out in real life. I have at times had a feedee that lived 8 hours away, but it was still worth it.

Now if you can really make your environment accept your gaining depends, if your partner truly only likes thin women OR if he is (and so many are) brainwashed by the media and hollywood into believing that only thin = attractive. There must be tons and tons of men hiding in the closet that are FA. They hide, because they are not sure enough to explore their love for fat or even admit it to themselves, because they don't feel any support for it from anybody. They might deep inside love fat and curves, but they know that that can't be right and that they must be crazy (since everybody else doesn't neither).

So showing to your partner that you are growing, telling him that you can't help it but find it kinda exciting (lets see if he will deny the hotness of your now larger breasts, WHICH MAN would??) and let it sink in slowly. Slowly is the trick, if there is a chance that it will work.
Being self confident will help a lot, since there is a fact that women only get called names like "fatty" or "lose some weight" when people can sense that they themselves are weak and unsure about it and "know" that they are too fat. They know that a self confident woman would not care the least and for some reasons, people only ever attack somebody that would not fight back.

When people tell me that my like for fat women is strange or that "I am a rare kind with that", they usually stop pretty fast talking more about it, since they can tell that I know about 1300% more about the subject and have digged deep inside me to find this preference that they feel their happhazard opinion meets me deep conviction. And the unsure or superficially opinionated usually swing easily to somebodies conviction that stands strong.
You know what you are, what you like and that sooner or later you will be large. We all know this, that this is inside us, even when we were kids. I always knew I wanted to feed women and help them gain weight. And I know it will never change. So you can be sure of it.
Not the aggresive type of sure, but the calm "I don't need to convince nobody" type.

Just never feel ugly or show that you do (with being fat) because that is easily picked on and already the general current in your environement. It is like you are a fashion designer out to convince the world of a new wonderful design that is so far being denied the status of beauty by many, but for no true real reason.

Make them believers!

Markus

The bash was cool, I totally enjoyed it. No contact with feeders or feedees unfortunately and no way to do it even if I wanted. But no news there, that is how things are right now, everybody is pretty much hiding in the closet.
I will keep pushing and nagging people, for any kind of meeting in public. I want to discuss this face to face with a real person for a change, not just with people that know my site, have read my stories and such and then that leads to a meeting.
We are all normal people, feeding is nothing strange or wierd.

Markus (aka Rubens_Feeder)

Yep, it won't happen. Feeders and Feeders are mostly closet cases. I seem to be to far the only one that is out there and would like to carry this into the social person to person dimension. Without the internet, feeders and feedees would not even know about their likes, it would plain simple be impossible. We seem to be YEARS if not decades away from any way of taking this out of the closet. Nothing new really. I think pretty much like the gay movement at around 1910 ;-)

The bash was really great! I loved it and my FA part was so happy, seeing all this beauty. I wouldn't mention that I am a feeder to nobody of course, since there is so much discrimination against feederism, it is just unreal. And maybe one day, I will find some people that are not into hiding and we can start a dialog.

Hi

How about the following idea, for all you feeders and feedees that will go to the Las Vegas BBW bash shortly:

We could wear a recognition mark, that looks innocently to others, but make us recognize eachother. I know that feeders and feedees get still very discriminated. I just had a relationship end because I was open enough to tell that big woman that I was a feeder. It was too much for her take, as she said. So going to the bash, I feel scared to mention it to anybody, because there are so many people that are totally not ok with it.

I am going there shortly, but would like to meet anybody that shares my interests, it would be really exciting. I guess a lot of feedees probably would not want to wear such a thing, but maybe at least feeders can meet feeders and socialize with them.
Maybe something innocent like a yellow band on the wrist saying "I insist on good food!" or "gourmet".
Then, a person can also initiate contact like that, mention it in a conversation without fearing to be shot in the head for it. It would be a starting point!

Markus (aka Rubens_feeder)

Unfortunately, I have to agree. Finding female feeders is in my experience.... almost impossible, if not impossible.
Considering how fledling and undeveloped the feeder/feedee world is, finding this extremely rare species is the hardest thing out there.
I am not trying to kill off any hopes, I think it is just important to be real and know that there probably won't be possibilities to find them and live with it. I know maybe of about 3, in the whole world. And that is, after being in the field for over 10 years and having probably hundreds of people contact me over that time through my website.

I still haven't figured out what feeding really is, after all this time, what it means, why people do it and why not. I thought I knew what it was, but now wonder if I really do *scratches head* ;-)

Markus (aka Rubens_Feeder)

Hi

I have been registered on here for many years, but never seen this thread, so I do a proper introduction.

My name is Markus, also known as Rubens_Feeder. I am 6 foot 4, average built (a little more than 1 year ago, thanks to Costco and the pentyful American food ;-) Some of you might have read my stories and articles that I have written on my webpage for a little more then 10 years. Although I know that most traffic on my site is from Europe, where I am originally from (Switzerland). I relocated and am now living in the SF Bay area and love it there.
You could say that my site and my writing is specialized in the extremer parts of of feeding and some have told me that it is the most extreme and outspoken direct site on the web. I am pretty sure that I probably make some people (even FAs) fall off the chair when they read what I write.

In terms of Feeding, I am pretty far and have lived it out in real life several times, although not as much as I liked. Feeding is something very very complicated, as I learned. I stand by my own passion though and know that I am a feeder and will always be one. I really only feed women and am hetero, but have great respect for homosexuals and bi people. When it comes to feeding, there isn't anything I don't like. From the totally harmless (going out to eat together, **watching a feedee eat, while propping my head up my hands and doing a *ahhhhhhhh* in appreciation** to full fledged force feeding (yes, that thing with a tube, which I seem to be the only one having written about an experience, I love that and everything in beetween.
Often people that read my stories assume that for me a feedee has to be very large and I always wonder what that is. I love feedees of all sizes, fattening up a thin woman and seeing her get plump and then really fat is so hot and unique, as well as helping a plump woman with a little cute fat belly transform it into a large fat laden wobbly one, as well as to help a already fat woman with a large soft belly fullfill her feeding dream that she has lived out on and off alone, the reason for her belly and fatten her up to get that hanging gut that we both find so sexy.

I am a very respectful feeder and will never feed anybody without her consent. I have been accused of being too nice, which I just the way I am. Many are surprised to find such a sweet nice person behind these extreme stories. It is the way my vivid imagination is married to my lust to explore and the extreme.

I only feed true feedees, meaning women that love and get hot at their own fat and gaining. "Just doing it for me" totally turns me off.
So having power over a feede is not something I crave, I believe in equalness, although I think a little submissiveness is sexy. Most of the feedees I have had so far have been strong women though and I like it that way.
My way of feeding is that I help you discover what is already inside you. I don't add anything that isn't there already, but I am there to unleash, to free the lust for fat and gaining.

So I am out of the closet and have been for a long time, and would like to share my experiences with other feeders and feedees, talk about it and also become friends, even when no feeding is involved, which in many cases won't.

So sorry for being so long, but I just wanted to do a proper introduction, so you can tell where I come from and what I am like.

Markus (aka Rubens_Feeder)

@eagledancer:

Your last post was a very interesting read and and I agree with you on all points.
It guess the tricky bit is that feeding is often connected with sex, on some level, but maybe hidden or "not lived out" way.
So if you feed, you will/should/must have sex? I guess this assumption makes the whole thing much more complex.

That is exactly why I want to start a group of people to just talk and socialize. No feeding intentions, no dinner or lunch meeting. Just coffee and getting to know eachother and then when people know eachother a little more, we can be open and talk about the fascination of feeding and gaining and the wonderful feeling watching other people. It would be a save environment, no dating or hookup intended at all.
I think that many feeders/feedees/gainers and FAs would enjoy that a lot, since we are so isolated and live this out in forums and in IMs, which is really sad. I think we are ready to take the next step in this and I am ready to lead the way, since I have no expectations of it one way or another and am not really frustrated that so little real feeding does go on. I have done some real feeding and before I had my first experience, I remember being heck of a lot more frustrated at the total inability to bring this into reality or at least try it out.

And who can object to just talk about it and to share it with like minded people? The meeting would be feeder/feedee focused though, I would not tolerate FAs that think feeding and being fed is wrong. But there are lots of FAs that are tolerant, that I know.

Or maybe feeding-curious, a word I have used here for the first time.
So far my post has gotten no response whatsoever. So I wonder how many people have actually read it at all or why people don't respond or react. I have by far not been too forward in what I proposed.

Some people would probably say that there are very little big people in the SF Bay Area (due to the rapant Californian fitness fad ;-), but with millions of people, there must be lots of big people too and when you look carefully, you will notice, that there is not one large size positive bar or place (yes, there is one, but I would not consider that as large) and BBW groups (I know one on meetup which I frequent) are always on the verge of falling appart and seem to be very mariginal. So even FAs and BBWs seem to be still in the Closet here in the Bay Area, I guess it makes sense that the Feeder/Feedee community would then be much worse off due to this and even less visible.

But I am sure there must be lots of people out there, lots and lots and lots.

I am a feeder and have noticed that for some people it seems to be a phase that they go through, that can be very exciting. But then as fast as it came, they lose it again. Sometimes they feel to me (as a full blood feeder that will always be a feeder no matter what) a little flightly and wierd, since first you see that person, totally excited, then it vanishes completely, like never have existed.

This is helped by the fact, that most feeders and feedees seem to live in the closet and never really have been fed/or have fed somebody else. And neither want to experience it, or (as in my case) get frustrated of getting so little real life experience out of it, or so little possibility to connect on a personal level (maybe just as fellow feeders or feedees, to have somebody to talk about it, human to human). My posts recently, trying to setup a meeting in the San Francisco Bay area have showed me what I knew already a little. That is nothing provocative, nothing strange, nothing wild and I got zip response, everybody seem to be scared or at least, not chose to live this out in the real world. I do get it, since we are all kind of hiding.
I just recently told a friend that I am feeder (because we talked about sexual preferences and I did not want to talk about mine and then her curiosity made her push me to tell)
And now she is shocked. She is big herself, but has serious issues with her weight and definitely does not want to gain, that is the furthest thing for her on her mind. I totally understand that and would never have had the slightest inkling of a thought to try to "convince" her to become a feedee, since we all know: you either are, or you are not.
But it still damaged the relationship and I am pretty sure that she deep inside now thinks that I am a worse person than she thought before, which is sad. But I am what I am and I do not appologize. I don't harm anyone with this, this is only between consenting adults and a feedee needs to be fed, we all know that. They will do it with or without us and it is important to share this, as nobody can understand the excitement (sexual or otherwise) of feeding or gaining and "the fat growing experience (tm) (r)" (now at Disneyworld, no I am just kidding )

So I think it is very alike the homosexual movement in the 50 and 60: They pretty much had to hide, they were discriminated big time and some even classified it as a psychiatric disease. Now gayness is accepted, thank god! But feederism is something so hideous for some people, it is like the unspeakable.
Well, we live in a world of fat phobia, as we all know.

And then there is the thing about just wanting to experience how it is to have your body grow or shrink, to modify it. And that can also be feeding and I guess, once you have had this experience, you have.... had it. End of story.

But in my case I have noticed the lust for feeding (or even thought of being a feedee myself) fade in and out in strenght, sometimes I am turned on by the very extreme (force feeding) and then sometimes other stuff. Experimenting is something that a lot of people do of course, to find out what feels good.

And then I wonder, where the line between FA and Feeder is. Is there one? Or is every true FA also a feeder (as more can always be sexy, depending where your top weight is, that you still find attractive)
And I guess it fits with feedees too: They have a setpoint, towards which they gain: If you have a feedee that is 180 lbs, and she has a setpoint of 350, she is going to gain at some point, hindered by diets and all kinds of conformism behaviour to please the expectations of others instead of the ones of herself. But with the right environment, she will gain up to 350 and then stay there and be happy, feel better with her body. Yet she might never really let herself go or get the proper encouragement. This also depending on how conformist she lives her life, how much she thinks that the world is shaped by what others want of her (I have to be attractive to others, to feel attractive to myself), or what she herself wants (I don't care what others think)

And as there are different setpoints, there are also likes of feeders, that want their feedees to reach maybe only 270 lbs and then "she becomes too fat for me" and that would fit fine with a feedee that only wants to go up to 260 lbs.

The phase I have right now is called: realism. I prefer to watch a feedee eat or go out eating and talk about feederism and what is means, maybe even in a group or people (and just meeting in a non feeding environment), than doing this extreme super feeding in my dreams and fantasy. I am a little tired of this. I have written sooooo many stories (see my website) that it kind of gets old just living in a fantasy world. I would like to know what other feeders think, real people, their experiences and expectations, their frustrations or whatever and form friendships.
So I am curious about what is going to happen. Seems to me that I am a pioneer, entering a unmapped country that few others have walked. Much less written reports about or drawn maps.

And thanks for that intelligent post about this new way of seeing things. Very interesting indeed!

Markus (aka Rubens_Feeder)