One of the best parts of being a feedee is never having to diet.

It seems to me if that's your motivation, your goal should be to get fat enough to qualify for bariatric surgery but not _too_ fat for bariatric surgery. Not that you should necessarily have bariatric surgery, just that it's nice to have the option and it's nice to know if you reach that target you'll never have to diet.

Fat enough for bariatric surgery would be 40 bmi. Too fat is 450 pounds. Someone 5'7" tall, for example, should have a goal weight between 256 and 450 pounds.

Is this a crazy idea? I don't know, somehow I like it.

I remember having thoughts and feelings about feeding and gaining when I was a child. Maybe these feelings were sexual, but I didn't recognize them as such and it seems to me now they were different than sexual feelings. All I can say is there was something magical about them. It was also a bit frustrating, because there was nowhere to go with these feelings.

After adolescence it was different--the feelings were definitely sexual.

I don't know if these childhood feelings were anything like being an asexual adult, but somehow they remind me of each other.

A feeder might help. For example, a feeder can edge you towards orgasm, denying you stimulation to get you to eat more. Eventually you might associate overeating with sex and the very idea of it will excite you.

I'm not sure it'll work, but given the number of people who only become aroused by eating and gaining I have to think it's possible.

I've heard of people making large orders that sound like they're ordering for two or three people. They'll order, say, three small cokes, three burgers, and three orders of fries to make it seem like they're ordering for three people.

Weight-gain (and weight-loss, for that matter!) can be a symptom of depression or other health problems. It is natural for your loved ones to be concerned about that possibility; if you can put their minds at ease that would be gracious.

Just say "I realized I'm happier if I just eat what I want."

This is not a lie and should be a sufficient explanation. If they say something like "But you're getting fat!" just say you're okay with that.

Some people fantasize about gaining for years. Then one day they just don't want to put it off any longer. They jump right in with both feet and start eating a lot more and gaining.

They don't always know why they started when they did. I suspect it's because they got inspired somehow, by seeing others people gain or something like that. Or it maybe something changes so they're no longer bothered by what other people think. This last one often happens when they move to a different place, somewhere they don't know anyone.

It seems like they're always happy about their decision, but of course if they weren't they'd be unlikely to talk to me about it.

Once you're fat you don't have to worry about getting fat. It'll be a fait accompli.

Has anyone ever used this rationale to ease their doubts about gaining?

Munchies:
I mean, becoming financially stable is important, but that's not nearly enough. [/quote]

Never said it was. And I agree that people often place too much importance to money.

My point is that in the absence of a feedee or feedee candidate, one thing a feeder can do is get their financial house in order, to facilitate a feedist relationship should one come along.

Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy anything.

You are not the only one. It's hard to find the right person, but hang in there. And while you wait, get your financial house in order. There are few better feeders than ones who can easily afford food, clothes, plane tickets and such.