Sweetannaxxl:
Took a small break from doing anything, and visiting the site due to some criticism from outside sources. It really took a toll on me and made me feel negatively about myself. I have gained a substantial amount of weight in a relatively small timeframe and must have come as a shock to my peers, which prompted some discomfort in conversation. My question i guess is how do I deal with this? I have no genuine interest in losing the weight, I know it won’t make me happy, but being ridiculed for my size is ridiculous. Does anyone have any good tips for shrugging it off?
First of all, can you put in clear words how you feel megatively about yourself?
1 week
Piggy Teaser:
Whatever is making you feel powerless in your life, that you need to attack strangers on the internet and try to present yourself as morally superior to them, as well as using infantilising language to belittle them, I really hope it gets better and that you work it all out xx
Munchies:
I'm fine sweetheart. Are you?
Nah, I'm talking about a situation I've seen time and time again on FF, Dimensions, and other kink spaces. People, men and women, who say they get off on ruining people's lives really do mean it.
I've seen people brag about how they systematically isolated their feedees as they made them fat. Telling them that no one but them would want them but them. Destroying their support network until the feeder is literally the only person in their lives.
Then they make it so their feedee literally cannot survive without them. They convince them to quit their jobs and focus on getting fat. Sometimes they ruin their health so much they literally need the feeder for all their needs. Often it's both.
Once all that happens, many feeders will bounce straight up once they grow bored. I'll never forget that one guy who proudly boasted that they abandoned their feedee in a nursing home because they got so fat it wasn't fun anymore.
So, would you like to try again?
There are women who do this to their feedees!?
1 week
HueOrdner:
Sorry, I need to blow off some steam here:
Absolutely every guy I show interest in tells me he wants to lose weight. Because you gotta lose weight if a pretty girl shows interest in you, otherwise you'll lose her, right? Some say it immediately, some mention it after a few dates.
For some reason 30kg seems to be the magic number here. It's the amount every guy wants to lose. Though, sometimes it's 50kg too.
If I know the guy a little better I will tell him that I find him attractive the way he is and that he doesn't have to lose weight for me, but it doesn't do anything. Once I even told a guy straight out on the first date that I'm not attracted to skinny people, but it didn't change much.
Maybe the guys really are doing it for themselves and that would be absolutely fine (although sad for me, haha), but to me it seems like they are doing it out of insecurity.
At this point with some guys any activities that involve food like eating out or cooking together stop being fun because they keep complaining about how fat they are and how much they are eating. Often without changing anything. Or they start eating very little and count calories. Other guys might avoid activities that include food as much as possible.
This makes me feel bad like myself. I am very happy with my body and eating habits right now, but I struggled with an eating disorder almost 10 years ago and I feel like this kind of behavior triggers me. It makes me wonder if I am also too fat and should diet too. It's such an awful feeling.
I don't want to be with someone who is so negative. I want to be with someone who enjoys life and likes to indulge in its pleasures.
But I can't seem to find someone like that. Am I just attracting dreadful people? Or are 99% of fat men just incredibly insecure?? I just want to be with someone who is self-confident and has a positive outlook on life.
And it's not like I'm against a guy staying fit. I obviously want them to be as healthy as possible.
I like being active myself. I love to dance and go for long walks or hikes. And of course I would like to do these activities with my partner. But I would like them to stay chubby while being active. I sometimes wish it was different, but skinny or muscular is just not my type. I wanna be with a guy who is like a sumo wrestler. Someone who is fat but still strong and fit.
One part of this might have to do with the covid. A lot of people might have gained unwanted weight with the lockdown and many might have not been bothered with loosing it right away.
(Also, i do am myself into extreme weight gain!)
1 week
Also i once talked with FFH (feemalefeederheaven) about gender roles and feedism roles (basically the same discussion, more or less, that we have here) and the conclusion we both arrived to is that traditional gender roles play, possibly, the biggest role in the (usually unconcious) decision to be a feeder or a feedee. That is an explenation to why such a large portion of women enter this fetish as feedees (rather than some more random / equal distribution). About Men, i think that it is a little more complicated. At least in my experience, the number of male feeders does not appear to be significantly larger (double or tripple) the number of male feedees. Also i see in a lot of cases (such as mine! ^_^) that men that have been feeders end up as feedees! That does not appear, to me, to be common in women. Instead i see that the oposite happens! Feedee women often turn into feeders!
I think the above is largely because of the gender stereotypes being unconciously broken / liquidated by the fetish! If thats true, then its an extremely interesting thing!
What do you all think?
2 weeks
Magodamilion2:
Yes I relate strongly, I've been trying to put it into words. People sometimes say they get a lesbian vibe from me and I've always throught it was to do with my fat fetish.
But what it really is is that I'm a top. I'm a cis het woman but I'm a top. My fantasies are all centered around degrading men and making them as helpless as possible.
It's a certain kind of madness that lots of men have, that thirst for another person's humiliation and gradual destruction. Iykyk
The last paragraph is something ive been thinking about a lot! As a feedee im into death feederism. My concious (=/= horny?) self has come to really hate it, because its so impractical, and to have that fetish means that either satisfying it will not end well, or it will remain unsatisfied. Its nontheless a big turn on for me but i cannot tell you how much i hate it!
2 weeks
Magodamilion2:
Yes I relate strongly, I've been trying to put it into words. People sometimes say they get a lesbian vibe from me and I've always throught it was to do with my fat fetish.
But what it really is is that I'm a top. I'm a cis het woman but I'm a top. My fantasies are all centered around degrading men and making them as helpless as possible.
It's a certain kind of madness that lots of men have, that thirst for another person's humiliation and gradual destruction. Iykyk
Munchies:
I've noticed some of the more common fantasies around here involve putting women in their place. I get it to some degree. I'm a sadistic domme. Where they lose me is how they view this as women in our natural state.
Of course, only maladjusted men think like this. Unfortunately, online spaces like FF are teeming with maladjusted men. So when they come across real women who do not conform to their narrow idea of what women are like, they are quick to label them as masculine.
And it's not just the men either. I've witnessed several maladjusted women doing this, too. They have the same rigid gender roles as their male counterparts. So when you tell them you're an FA or a feeder, they cannot process this. Often, they'll write you off as gay rather than reassess their worldview.
Opinions are like armpits. Everyone has them, and some are unwashed.
Thats plain gender *passive* ideology! People put people into these boxes. They dont know that theyre doing it, but theyre doing it!
2 weeks
Bigbellylvr1:
What can I do as a skinny person to be a part of the community and meet people it kinda feels like I’m not worthy of joining in on fat talk because idk what it’s like lol I really want to gain but can’t really afford it at the moment but I want to get my foot in the door for when the time comes
Munchies:
FF has people of all shapes and sizes. Skinny people are valid and welcome. We have several gainers and feedees just starting out, so you'll be in fine company.
Shadowmike:
You've hardly been around and have a S.O. You try way too hard. You come off so needy and miserable.
Enas:
Eer... You say that to Munchies? Which is the most active user on forums, of the entier site for years?
This is really strange.
Munchies:
Meh. I don't care about his opinion. Still, I appreciate you saying something.
I dont care much about what he said either, its simply false (besides totally obscene), but i really worry about how he thinks! He is totally spontanious here! No actual thought was involved to construct what he wrote down!
3 weeks
Bigbellylvr1:
What can I do as a skinny person to be a part of the community and meet people it kinda feels like I’m not worthy of joining in on fat talk because idk what it’s like lol I really want to gain but can’t really afford it at the moment but I want to get my foot in the door for when the time comes
Munchies:
FF has people of all shapes and sizes. Skinny people are valid and welcome. We have several gainers and feedees just starting out, so you'll be in fine company.
Shadowmike:
You've hardly been around and have a S.O. You try way too hard. You come off so needy and miserable.
Eer... You say that to Munchies? Which is the most active user on forums, of the entier site for years?
This is really strange.
3 weeks
Justinboo0313:
I’m trying to get to know people around here also. I’m not a big guy either, but it really doesn’t matter. I’m trying to get past some of the mental issues that come along with our kink. Like discovering you’re not completely a feeder and finding you have a desire to gain or be dominated. I have a partner that’s not into the kink but has tolerated it and joined in off and on to satisfy me. But now Im coming to terms with the reality that I’m probably a gainer, and probably always have been. That opened up a whole new box of feelings and anxiety’s.
Would you like to talk about your anxieties and feelings on this matter? I share a kind of similar story and i might be able to help you in some limited way.
3 weeks
