Well that's concerning.

What's the hurry?

You'll be pleased to know that plus-sized women in America have been doing this for years.

Sex work

I get that. But then you should talk about both. It makes no sense to ignore a commonly used community term. That's not in service to the community or people looking to join it.

Munchies:
I mean, becoming financially stable is important, but that's not nearly enough.

AskDrFeeder:
Never said it was. And I agree that people often place too much importance to money.

My point is that in the absence of a feedee or feedee candidate, one thing a feeder can do is get their financial house in order, to facilitate a feedist relationship should one come along.

Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy anything.[/quote]

All I'm saying is that while fixing your finances is good general advice, it's incomplete advice for novice feeders that can lead to them forming incorrect conclusions.

I see it happen all the time. Someone (usually a guy, but not always) will lament how hard it is to find a romantic and/or sexual partner. Then someone will give them advice that's not bad but is more general stuff they should be doing anyway. Common examples include saving/investing money or having basic hygiene.

This leads to the original person interpreting the advice in one of two ways. Either they see it as a way to get what they want or that they should abandon their original goal in favor of following the advice. Often, the advice giver doesn't mean it this way. But since they inadvertently framed this advice as the solution to the problem, it's understandable how someone might think this way.

I do love me a big man.

However, that's not why it's so hard for a lot of male feeders to find a female feedee. In fact, female feedees tell people why it's hard for them to find someone all the time.

It's because so many of them suck as people. I'm not even a feedee and I regularly encounter male feeders who clearly are typing with their left hand, are pushy, mean, objectifying, or have serial killer vibes. It's genuinely terrifying sometimes.

So if you are a genuinely good person, understand it's going to be hard no matter what you do. There are so many guarded, jaded female feedees out there who will keep you at arm's length for a while for safety reasons alone.

Fair. Still, your personality doesn't determine if you are a dom(me) or sub. I know some firecrackers who are subs and some wallflowers who are dom(me)s. Remember that there's no one way to engage in power play.

As for guys not necessarily being into power play (I assume you meant ambivalent instead of agnostic?), it's complicated.

A lot of guys want to be as masculine as possible in the bedroom. For many of those guys, that means they want to be in charge. They'll either identify as doms or express dom-like behavior. However, a good chunk of those guys are only doing it be because that's what they think they should do.

This doesn't necessarily mean they are subs. They just have a narrow idea of how they should express their gender.

Is that the case? In my experience, most feeders want someone who is at least chubby.