Enas:
Unfortunately i have a really hard time with finding romantic attraction to other people (who whould welcome it) one very good friend of mine, a litteral sweetheart, stopped talking to me because of really bad mental health problems. A lot of people in my college, i find them immature in a toxic sense.

One person i really like is a fellow nb but they're also in a relationship.

I really want it but i dont have the best social skills to find a romantic partner. I don't have great luck so far :/

Mrman1980uk:
I would suggest working on learning social skills. These are learnable (even though they come naturally to many people), but learning does take time and effort.

It won't necessarily fully solve your problem (these things are inherently hard for everyone), but it may help.

Yeah, I don't hate the good ones, but they know who they are.

Men who don't understand the social order and just want to gain stuff.

They also don't understand how men and women select mates in other ways, and that girls don't want the things that dudes like.

Of course, doing this with other men works out fine, to be honest, even better in hetero relationships, as they are both fully eager whenever.

Straight men acting like gay men towards women means it just won't work.

I hate it, and what's worse, those people are the ones firing off the most DMs, PMs, and replies, as they can't find someone.

Munchies:
I wouldn't say men and women necessarily choose their SOs differently. If you are socialized a certain way, you'll look for an SO like you've been raised to look for one. But if you look up how men and women choose partners, you'll find variations. And if you hang out with enough people, you'll realize there's no gender-specific guideline.

Heck, when my partner and I met, we'd planned for it to be a one-off bit of fun. But it organically grew into something more.

This boils down to a basic lack of respect and seeing women as objects instead of people.

LydiaFatOttter:
Not to go too 100% nerd on you, but there is a thing that sex plays in mate selection, but this is the wrong place for a science talk.

Also, someone like me who has seen both sides of the gender experience, there is 100% a difference.

Munchies:
That's not what I'm getting at. I won't deny that men and women approach things differently. But a lot of that is nurture over nature.

Here's a quick and dirty about what I mean:

psychcentral.com/blog/love-matters/2018/08/why-we-choose-the-mates-we-do-and-how-to-choose-the-best-mate-for-you

I've never put much stock in the opinions of evolutionary psychology. It has a male, white, Western, cishet, traditional viewpoint. And while there's nothing wrong with being a white Western cishet traditional man, you have to admit it has a very limited viewpoint.

Enas:
Or the lack of nurture. The amount of people who sadly end up having their lives sacrificed for the profit motive (instead of doing other thigns like taking *good* care of children) seems to be growing by the day!

Munchies:
Enas, I am confused. How does this tie in into anything either party has said?

Yeah, I don't hate the good ones, but they know who they are.

Men who don't understand the social order and just want to gain stuff.

They also don't understand how men and women select mates in other ways, and that girls don't want the things that dudes like.

Of course, doing this with other men works out fine, to be honest, even better in hetero relationships, as they are both fully eager whenever.

Straight men acting like gay men towards women means it just won't work.

I hate it, and what's worse, those people are the ones firing off the most DMs, PMs, and replies, as they can't find someone.

Munchies:
I wouldn't say men and women necessarily choose their SOs differently. If you are socialized a certain way, you'll look for an SO like you've been raised to look for one. But if you look up how men and women choose partners, you'll find variations. And if you hang out with enough people, you'll realize there's no gender-specific guideline.

Heck, when my partner and I met, we'd planned for it to be a one-off bit of fun. But it organically grew into something more.

This boils down to a basic lack of respect and seeing women as objects instead of people.

LydiaFatOttter:
Not to go too 100% nerd on you, but there is a thing that sex plays in mate selection, but this is the wrong place for a science talk.

Also, someone like me who has seen both sides of the gender experience, there is 100% a difference.

Munchies:
That's not what I'm getting at. I won't deny that men and women approach things differently. But a lot of that is nurture over nature.

Here's a quick and dirty about what I mean:

psychcentral.com/blog/love-matters/2018/08/why-we-choose-the-mates-we-do-and-how-to-choose-the-best-mate-for-you

I've never put much stock in the opinions of evolutionary psychology. It has a male, white, Western, cishet, traditional viewpoint. And while there's nothing wrong with being a white Western cishet traditional man, you have to admit it has a very limited viewpoint.

Enas:
I think it's extremely hard to write something good, actually good out of it. For the reasons the previous people here have already expressed.
As a fetish fantasy just to get people off, i guess it is... fine, but anything deeper will crush into rocks of oppression and it won't go well.

I do try to write a story of a similar theme where it's not one gender fat and the other thin but it's an ancient /utopian / fantasy mix where there is a matriarchical society, so one gender is dominant, but this, as i said, is utopian

And the oppression that goes with domination simply doesn't exist in that world because the people that are in the dominant positions actually care for the others' feelings and lives, and i mean that on the best way.

So make sure to drown out all the negative realities that comes with what you suggest in the title.

And also think carefully about what's the purpose of that story! For example with my story i put it in the way i did because i feel that's a good way to mix what turns me on, and i also wanted to highlight how importand love is. Because if you think about it if one person is dominant over others but caring, then it's love what keeps this balance away from barbarism!

And please, let me know what you think about what i just wrote!

Munchies:
So ... reverse harem anime where MC is Just Some Guy (TM) and all the pretty ladies love him. A classic choice.

And I wouldn't say it's love so much as it is about mutual respect. You don't have to love someone to do right by them.

Munchies:
Being a woman is very hard in online feedist spaces. Female FAs and feeders have a unique challenge because so many feedists see being an FA or a feeder as a masculine thing and being a feedee as a feminine thing.

I am not saying this to say that female FAs and feeders have it worse than female feedees. God knows the kind of abuse I've seen them go through. I'm simply saying that we have different struggles.

I have lost count for the number of men who cannot believe a woman can be anything but a feedee. Some of them have tried their hardest to "convert" me to become one because "that's what women do". They have threatened, harrassed, and attempted to manipulate me just because I don't fit into their weird gender expectations.

I know why they think that way. When online feedist spaces first started, nearly all feeders and FAs were men and nearly all feedees were women. Even though times have changed, some things still linger.

Think about it. Why are men FAs and not MFAs? Why do some people think it's weird if a woman refers to herself as an FA and not an FFA? We've made great strides as a community, but we still have a ways to go.

Most female FAs and feeders are not crazy. If they don't feel welcome, they will leave. I don't blame them. Hell, some days I feel like I'm still here out of spite and not a desire to be around like minded people.

Things aren't as bad as they used to be, but they still aren't great. It's my hope that we has a community can make this place safer for women. It's win-win. If more women feel safe enough to be here, then it won't be has hard for male gainers and feedees to find femals FAs and feeders.