Hello wanna ask me anything?

FatSubFeedee:
I've been a long time lurker on here but decided to create a new account so I could join the community, and I thought what would be better as a way to introduce myself than answering any questions people may have?
A little about myself, I'm 21 and weigh 340lbs and I'm 6 foot and I really like Transformers lol
If you've got any questions comment them and I'll try to answer them, have a good day and thanks for reading smiley

Munchies:
What is the answer to everything?

I dont know! O.o
10 months
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Enas

Question for vagina owners

I know its not the question at all but i think it might be of some use to comment on this:

MickRidem:
"I hit my highest weight and wanted to bring it down a little. I started keto this summer.


The diet is, perhaps significantly, more importand than the exercise.

I hope your friend will achieve her goal!
10 months
Avatar
Enas

Explaining why im putting weight on to my loved ones.

Please do not ask that question when someone brings up a marginalized person that you are not familiar with. It's extremely rude and unflattering. It's okay to ask who they are, but never what.


The question:
Ditzy:
What is a Lil Nas X ?
A person, place or thing?

was clear and simple. I can demonstrate, if you'd like, that questions (and statements also) are obsectively not rude. And that should be especially obvious with simple and clear questions such as this one.

Munchies:
I mentioned very clearly in my post that Lil Nas X is a person, Ditzy. He's a black man who happens to be gay if you want to be more specific.

Put 1 and 1 together, its easy to see that the problem, or mistake if youd like, wasnt the question Ditzy asked but that she read past that, to which the question was simply a natural consequence of. She should be more carefull with reading, not with asking questions that can be interpeted as rude.
10 months
Avatar
Enas

Explaining why im putting weight on to my loved ones.

Ditzy:
My question is :
Why do you think you "owe" them an explanation?
Its really none of their business isn't it?
You wouldn't go around calling attention if one of them put on weight would you?

Seems these days people feel the need to "come out" about almost anything.
Are they searching for acceptance or something else?
I never understood that mind set I just did what I felt I needed to do for my reasons not someone else.
What I do is my business not friends or family.
If its a spouse then I can see it being a thing that needs to be talked about between the two.

I saw a lot of that when I worked part time at an LGBT center but never got a firm answer from any of the people.


Your question isnt really a good one, because the answer is a simple no, and that is simply irrelevant to what seems to be the issue (people wanting to be honest to others about who they are, etc etc) so we cant get much out of it.

Human beings have evolved to have certain qualities regarding social behaviors. For example empathy. It is easy to understand the positive social effect that this has on a community level. Similarly, honesty works in a similar way. It has a certain social result and simply, societies with members that were more honest survived more easily than those with less honest members. And honesty works a bit like this: When you think people have a false idea of something, implying that you have an other idea that contradicts what others say and you sense that yours is better, then you want to let everyone know about your idea about that thing and how it is better! In the examples you mention, the subject, the thing people have false ideas about is the people's identities that want to come out of the closet.

This is natural and okay.

What is moraly horrifying is that our society will not allow them to be honest. It will shame them, it will make them fear to do it!

This is hubris.
10 months
Avatar
Enas

Getting your partner more open about their weight and size?

Milhause:
I was taught the two things you NEVER ask a woman (should be ppl in general tho): their age and their weight.

I guess you need to be more communicative if it’s really that important but for context I’ve been with my partner for almost a decade, and I’ve never known their weight except for one time when a quirk of our schedules and car needs saw me accompanying her to a drs appointment.

Now granted, my spouse knows I’m a FA and that I find her beautiful and she still doesn’t share her weight or flaunt it. Ultimately, it’s up to your partner how comfortable they are. Personally, I don’t need to know some arbitrary number because I value her for who she is, full stop.

Have a chat with your person if it’s something you feel is important. It may not be a big deal but they also may not want to share that info. Gotta respect it either way.

Enas:
I uuuh, i agree and disagree at the same time with this way of thinking.

I understand the social context, especially for women (you *must* be bellow "x" pounds to be accepted by society, otherwise youre gross, etc) but seriously, how come and in what sense is not talking about something a form of respect? This is generaly a conclusion that is reached when the topic is making someone uncomfortable. But that on its own is a good enough reason to talk

Milhause:
I mean, we can debate about the patriarchy or respect or whatever, but the main reason I don’t ask people their age or weight is because it’s none of my business.

Enas:
Actually, would you agree with me that a better way to put it would be, it would be of no use to ask those things? Because i think leaving some space in some cases is valid. For example if you want to satisfy your curiosity. If thats the case, then the fact that its not about you is not a valid objection. (Uncomfort *would* be a valid one, for example)

Munchies:
Enas, you must have been an Olympic runner in another life. Wisdom has been chasing you, but you are much faster.


Why do you say that? 😅


Curiosity is one of the greater motivations for seeking knowledge! Why throw it away?
10 months
Avatar
Enas

Getting your partner more open about their weight and size?

Milhause:
I was taught the two things you NEVER ask a woman (should be ppl in general tho): their age and their weight.

I guess you need to be more communicative if it’s really that important but for context I’ve been with my partner for almost a decade, and I’ve never known their weight except for one time when a quirk of our schedules and car needs saw me accompanying her to a drs appointment.

Now granted, my spouse knows I’m a FA and that I find her beautiful and she still doesn’t share her weight or flaunt it. Ultimately, it’s up to your partner how comfortable they are. Personally, I don’t need to know some arbitrary number because I value her for who she is, full stop.

Have a chat with your person if it’s something you feel is important. It may not be a big deal but they also may not want to share that info. Gotta respect it either way.

Enas:
I uuuh, i agree and disagree at the same time with this way of thinking.

I understand the social context, especially for women (you *must* be bellow "x" pounds to be accepted by society, otherwise youre gross, etc) but seriously, how come and in what sense is not talking about something a form of respect? This is generaly a conclusion that is reached when the topic is making someone uncomfortable. But that on its own is a good enough reason to talk

Milhause:
I mean, we can debate about the patriarchy or respect or whatever, but the main reason I don’t ask people their age or weight is because it’s none of my business.


Actually, would you agree with me that a better way to put it would be, it would be of no use to ask those things? Because i think leaving some space in some cases is valid. For example if you want to satisfy your curiosity. If thats the case, then the fact that its not about you is not a valid objection. (Uncomfort *would* be a valid one, for example)
10 months
Avatar
Enas

Getting your partner more open about their weight and size?

Munchies:
It's about boundaries. When someone has a boundary, you do not cross it. Now, in some contexts, if the relationship allows for such closeness, you can have a conversation about that. But seeing as OP has been dating his gf for 4 months, he ain't there.

Enas:
I wrote this mostly as a reply to Milhause said, which can be better described as some sort of silent social pact between people rather than everyone's boundaries.

As for the OP, it is a metaphorical jungle that they have to go through. It seems their relationship has not been solidified adequetally. (that will be true ehrn they can talk about anything without trying to dodge topics)

Munchies:
Beloved, the silent social pact between people is a boundary. You know why women don't want to talk about such things. You admitted as such yourself. Therefore, talking about it without expressed permission from that person it crossing a boundary.

It's like if I decided to ask you about your finances. Unless we have a relationship where it's appropriate to discuss such things, it's terribly rude and invasive. As such, there's a silent social pact not to do that.

Enas:
I get that! Im only saying that it isnt rational (nothing about our society is particularly rational to be fair)

Munchies:
Beloved, your definition of rational is Vulcan. You view emotion as something apart from logic when, in truth, logic devoid of emotion is not logical at all.


(I dont understand what "vulcan" means in this sentense 😅)

Look, i have 2 things to say about this.

First, by what i have seen so far, i strongly disagree. Are people who dont have feelings unable to produce logical thoughts? I havent seen an example of that anywhere and i havent come across any study or research that concludes that! (If you do know any, please enlighten me!) In the contrary i have never ever seen any irational person acting, with intent, on anything other than feelings. Thats not to say that feelings cant play some part in this process, sometimes, but again i dont see anything that could suggest that what you say is true. If you do have any evidence, please show me!

Secondly, this conversation, although immensely interesting, is not really relevant to the point i was making in my previous message, because what i point at is the lack of critical thought, evident in the majority of the population, the extremely high levels of narcissistic behaviors, etc. Things that exist as a direct contradiction to rationality, whatever its definition is (except if the definition doesnt involve critical thinking, but then it wouldnt be what i would be concerned with).
10 months
Avatar
Enas

Getting your partner more open about their weight and size?

Munchies:
It's about boundaries. When someone has a boundary, you do not cross it. Now, in some contexts, if the relationship allows for such closeness, you can have a conversation about that. But seeing as OP has been dating his gf for 4 months, he ain't there.

Enas:
I wrote this mostly as a reply to Milhause said, which can be better described as some sort of silent social pact between people rather than everyone's boundaries.

As for the OP, it is a metaphorical jungle that they have to go through. It seems their relationship has not been solidified adequetally. (that will be true ehrn they can talk about anything without trying to dodge topics)

Munchies:
Beloved, the silent social pact between people is a boundary. You know why women don't want to talk about such things. You admitted as such yourself. Therefore, talking about it without expressed permission from that person it crossing a boundary.

It's like if I decided to ask you about your finances. Unless we have a relationship where it's appropriate to discuss such things, it's terribly rude and invasive. As such, there's a silent social pact not to do that.


I get that! Im only saying that it isnt rational (nothing about our society is particularly rational to be fair)
10 months
Avatar
Enas

Getting your partner more open about their weight and size?

Milhause:
I was taught the two things you NEVER ask a woman (should be ppl in general tho): their age and their weight.

I guess you need to be more communicative if it’s really that important but for context I’ve been with my partner for almost a decade, and I’ve never known their weight except for one time when a quirk of our schedules and car needs saw me accompanying her to a drs appointment.

Now granted, my spouse knows I’m a FA and that I find her beautiful and she still doesn’t share her weight or flaunt it. Ultimately, it’s up to your partner how comfortable they are. Personally, I don’t need to know some arbitrary number because I value her for who she is, full stop.

Have a chat with your person if it’s something you feel is important. It may not be a big deal but they also may not want to share that info. Gotta respect it either way.

Enas:
I uuuh, i agree and disagree at the same time with this way of thinking.

I understand the social context, especially for women (you *must* be bellow "x" pounds to be accepted by society, otherwise youre gross, etc) but seriously, how come and in what sense is not talking about something a form of respect? This is generaly a conclusion that is reached when the topic is making someone uncomfortable. But that on its own is a good enough reason to talk, not about the topic itself but about the reasons that this is the case! It takes some bravery but isnt it so much better to be able to handle thinking or even talking about something of importance?

My point here is not so much about the conclusion per se, but of the thought (or maybe the non-thought) process whith which that conclusion was approached. I think its not rational. It helps to avoid (dealing with) conflict rather than resolve it for example. And i think a rational approach would be of great utility because there is a lot of trauma that cannot otherwise be adressed and dealt with.

Im saying this, not in the sense that its not bad to ask women (or everyone) about their weight and height, but to point out that this situation where women will become uncomfortable by these things is really *not* okay. Because this uncomfort is a mere symptom of the traumatic patriarchical order of things. Men have long ago defined in this society what a woman (and also a man) should look like, behave, etc, in order to be accepted. There is a fairly new development, which is that in its briliancy this system (instead of realizing this is a very toxic thing to do) has made women doing it too, as if that has some potential other than doubling the toxicity.

Munchies:
It's about boundaries. When someone has a boundary, you do not cross it. Now, in some contexts, if the relationship allows for such closeness, you can have a conversation about that. But seeing as OP has been dating his gf for 4 months, he ain't there.


I wrote this mostly as a reply to Milhause said, which can be better described as some sort of silent social pact between people rather than everyone's boundaries.

As for the OP, it is a metaphorical jungle that they have to go through. It seems their relationship has not been solidified adequetally. (that will be true ehrn they can talk about anything without trying to dodge topics)
10 months
Avatar
Enas

Getting your partner more open about their weight and size?

Milhause:
I was taught the two things you NEVER ask a woman (should be ppl in general tho): their age and their weight.

I guess you need to be more communicative if it’s really that important but for context I’ve been with my partner for almost a decade, and I’ve never known their weight except for one time when a quirk of our schedules and car needs saw me accompanying her to a drs appointment.

Now granted, my spouse knows I’m a FA and that I find her beautiful and she still doesn’t share her weight or flaunt it. Ultimately, it’s up to your partner how comfortable they are. Personally, I don’t need to know some arbitrary number because I value her for who she is, full stop.

Have a chat with your person if it’s something you feel is important. It may not be a big deal but they also may not want to share that info. Gotta respect it either way.


I uuuh, i agree and disagree at the same time with this way of thinking.

I understand the social context, especially for women (you *must* be bellow "x" pounds to be accepted by society, otherwise youre gross, etc) but seriously, how come and in what sense is not talking about something a form of respect? This is generaly a conclusion that is reached when the topic is making someone uncomfortable. But that on its own is a good enough reason to talk, not about the topic itself but about the reasons that this is the case! It takes some bravery but isnt it so much better to be able to handle thinking or even talking about something of importance?

My point here is not so much about the conclusion per se, but of the thought (or maybe the non-thought) process whith which that conclusion was approached. I think its not rational. It helps to avoid (dealing with) conflict rather than resolve it for example. And i think a rational approach would be of great utility because there is a lot of trauma that cannot otherwise be adressed and dealt with.

Im saying this, not in the sense that its not bad to ask women (or everyone) about their weight and height, but to point out that this situation where women will become uncomfortable by these things is really *not* okay. Because this uncomfort is a mere symptom of the traumatic patriarchical order of things. Men have long ago defined in this society what a woman (and also a man) should look like, behave, etc, in order to be accepted. There is a fairly new development, which is that in its briliancy this system (instead of realizing this is a very toxic thing to do) has made women doing it too, as if that has some potential other than doubling the toxicity.
10 months
Avatar
Enas
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