In wich way do you generally think?

Okay the title had to be this short so I'll explain bellow:
When you think about a subject, do you generally tend to oversimplify it, or you try to hyperanalize it? That is, do you think about things with simplicity, or you think about them in terms of complex systems?
I'm really curious about it, because, I've realized it's something that has caused a lot of confusion when i talk with other people here. And im really curious to hear to what anyone has to say! I hope this thread will spark a healthy debate over the topic.
On that note i tried to write it as objectively and unbiased as i can, but i definitely have a side on that.
So, what about you all? Where do you belong in this spectrum?
1 year

Will my gf blow up like her twin sister??

Spookyhoodlum:
Ive been with my girlfriend for over a year now, and she knows I like her more on the thicc side, but still complains about her figure sometimes. She literally has the figure that most women would kill for.....no belly, d cup tits, and a phat round butt. she lost quite a bit of weight after a medical issue. maybe around 50 lbs or so before we ever started dating. she was honestly a bit too skinny after her hospital stay. she put a little bit of the weight back on before we got together.
someone in her family must have really convinced her she was fat at some point cuz she's hyper aware of her body....... or at least was.
I tell her how beautiful she is everyday! so much so that she starting to believe me. she's put all the weight she lost back on❤️❤️❤️ she's back to her thick little self😍.....shes around 160 or 165 currently, but she isn't paying nearly as much attention to what she was eating as before! she's been eating whatever she likes recently. sometimes she will stuff herself with fast food before coming over to see me, then lay there and moan about how stuffed she is and how good everything tasted😋. I doubt she's caught on yet but when she complains about eating too much or about how she's getting fat, it makes me so fucking hard😅. I always try to *** brains out after feeding her! feed her absolutely anything she wants then lay her on her back or knees and make her moan!
so she really not anywhere near being fat right now, but she's definitely been gaining a bit since we have been together...........but thing is.....she has a twin sister....... who blew the fuck up over the past year. like easily 100+ pounds over less than a year. My GF thinks her twin sister got fat from birth control.😅 you carry water weight from the pill but it doesn't do all that from what ive read🤔 so her mom always been fat, her older sister is almost a ssbbw around 350.

Ive been told to look at the women in a girls family, if they got fat she will probably get fat at some point too! Her twin sister got huge in under a year, I think its gonna happen to her too🥵🥵.has anyones GF ever gotten fat by accident.? how did they deal with it? when did they notice? did they eventually learn to like being fatter?

You can wonder all you want about that
---*or*---
Just tell her / communicate it to her like a decent person...?
1 year

Empowering yourself as an overweight person.

FatDave:
One of the things I love doing is finding examples of those on the bigger side who are not your typical "overweight people."

Sumo wrestling, for example. They're big people, but they're athletic, put in work to get their bodies to function a certain way, and just so happen to be overweight by standard definitions.

What are some ways you practice fat empowerment?

Munchies:
What you are talking about is body composition. These people *are* fat, but they are also muscular.

I'm clinically overweight, but that's due to being muscular. As such, I look like I should be lighter than I really am.

I am curious about the term "fat empowerment". What do you mean by that?

As munchies said these people are indeed fat, besides muscular. To add something, if you look at old pictures of sumo wrestlers (before the 21th and 20th century) they still looked fatter than the average but that's mostly when you compare their appearance to modern athletes. In reality these were the normal, well fed, people of the era. In modern times, things have generally changed. The today's athlete is able to focus solely on getting better at his sport. And in sumo, the rules make it favorable for the athlete to have as much kinetic energy as they can and since getting fatter provides that, most sumo athletes, the ones who play competitively at least, will gain quite a lot of fat too! But there is a lot going on behind their appearance. Wich is very interesting because since they're athletes you'd expect to see muscle
But since competitive athletes don't care about appearance more than they care about performance, and in sumo they have an advantage if they're heavier, in any way, they do gain weight, as to increase their effectiveness. But as munchies said that's body composition and there's a lot of muscle behind that fat.
I have a couple more things in my mind but i think it whould be a good idea to wait for you to explain what you mean by that "fat empowerment" term, before i write them!
1 year

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Finickyfeedee:
I don’t think a safe space for women, femmes, nonbinary and GNC people can reasonably exclude men because many people in those categories are also men or are targeted for harassment due to falsely perceived proximity to manhood. GNC and femme men and nonbinary people whose identities may partially or fully include manhood (bi-gender, gender-fluid, etc), as well as people who aren’t men at all but present masculine or don’t pass as cis women regardless of how they present are not safe in a space that bans men, if they can even access it at all. Furthermore, even just banning cis gender-conforming men specifically (how would this be verified?) still feeds into bioessentialist attitudes that are at the core of a lot of transphobic rhetoric and encourages a culture of paranoid transphobes always on the lookout for people who don’t pass well enough for their liking to harass off the platform.

Instead, a safe space should be created through strict moderation and a robust blocking system. Allegations of misconduct should be taken seriously and dealt with swiftly and harshly, and rules about appropriate conduct should be clearly outlined, banning all types of harassment and bigotry. That kind of robust moderation is of course not easy, but it’s still easier and more ethical than trying to come up with a threshold for who has too close of proximity to manhood to be allowed in the safe space without excluding vulnerable people who need the safe space.

Munchies:
@Enas, this is how you engage with this question in a more productive way.

And noted! ^^
1 year

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Enas:
Someone said that there could be a website that won't allow men in it (something like that)
That's what i was referring to. Apart from what might seems obvious, there is a big problem when trying to exclude a specific group of people from somewhere on the internet. It's not the real world. You can ban computers, as in the devises themselves from accessing but you cannot really ban a human from that place. Only make it harder for them to access. It's much easier to only include a specific group and exclude anyone else altho that's still not safe, technically speaking.
That's why i said that this is not a good idea. But if there is an ideal world then this doesn't make sense because it only hides the problem of men feeling like you owe them something. (as Miachu put it)
Whouldnt it be actually better if this was entirely solved? In an ideal world that whould happen, i think!
That's my one point. The other is i saw what everyone said and noticed it was indeed on topic. What that place whould look like. I just wanted to also answer the question that nobody asked; what whould it's mechanism work like! Maybe I'll give other people ideas and they might write them too! And somebody might actually work with it! Again I'm suggesting how it could work. Not how it whould feel to the end user.
Please, do try to challenge my idea! I'd love to see its flaws and think of how it can be improved!
Uhm, does this make sense now? 😅

Munchies:
Enas, why do you want to be a part of a safe space for women, femmes, non-binary, and gender non-conforming people?

Enas:
Munchies I'm really confused! 😂
I don't think i said that, what i said is more on the lines of, I'd love to help in the process of creating such a safe place. I'm guessing you wanna know why, and that's because it makes me sad that people are mistreated by other people only because the latter haven't matured yet. I don't mind if the people i help are not in the same group i am I'd just like to help. It pleases me to do so

Munchies:
So ... you want to be involved in this safe space because you're one of the good ones. As such, you are entitled to be a part of this safe space because you've earned it.

Am I correct?

Can we chat about this next time? It's midnight and i think i dont communicate it well enough
1 year

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Enas:
Someone said that there could be a website that won't allow men in it (something like that)
That's what i was referring to. Apart from what might seems obvious, there is a big problem when trying to exclude a specific group of people from somewhere on the internet. It's not the real world. You can ban computers, as in the devises themselves from accessing but you cannot really ban a human from that place. Only make it harder for them to access. It's much easier to only include a specific group and exclude anyone else altho that's still not safe, technically speaking.
That's why i said that this is not a good idea. But if there is an ideal world then this doesn't make sense because it only hides the problem of men feeling like you owe them something. (as Miachu put it)
Whouldnt it be actually better if this was entirely solved? In an ideal world that whould happen, i think!
That's my one point. The other is i saw what everyone said and noticed it was indeed on topic. What that place whould look like. I just wanted to also answer the question that nobody asked; what whould it's mechanism work like! Maybe I'll give other people ideas and they might write them too! And somebody might actually work with it! Again I'm suggesting how it could work. Not how it whould feel to the end user.
Please, do try to challenge my idea! I'd love to see its flaws and think of how it can be improved!
Uhm, does this make sense now? 😅

Munchies:
Enas, why do you want to be a part of a safe space for women, femmes, non-binary, and gender non-conforming people?

Munchies I'm really confused! 😂
I don't think i said that, what i said is more on the lines of, I'd love to help in the process of creating such a safe place. I'm guessing you wanna know why, and that's because it makes me sad that people are mistreated by other people only because the latter haven't matured yet. I don't mind if the people i help are not in the same group i am I'd just like to help. It pleases me to do so
1 year

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Someone said that there could be a website that won't allow men in it (something like that)
That's what i was referring to. Apart from what might seems obvious, there is a big problem when trying to exclude a specific group of people from somewhere on the internet. It's not the real world. You can ban computers, as in the devises themselves from accessing but you cannot really ban a human from that place. Only make it harder for them to access. It's much easier to only include a specific group and exclude anyone else altho that's still not safe, technically speaking.
That's why i said that this is not a good idea. But if there is an ideal world then this doesn't make sense because it only hides the problem of men feeling like you owe them something. (as Miachu put it)
Whouldnt it be actually better if this was entirely solved? In an ideal world that whould happen, i think!
That's my one point. The other is i saw what everyone said and noticed it was indeed on topic. What that place whould look like. I just wanted to also answer the question that nobody asked; what whould it's mechanism work like! Maybe I'll give other people ideas and they might write them too! And somebody might actually work with it! Again I'm suggesting how it could work. Not how it whould feel to the end user.
Please, do try to challenge my idea! I'd love to see its flaws and think of how it can be improved!
Uhm, does this make sense now? 😅
1 year

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Enas:
I'm not saying this is useless. More so, i think it's interesting! Otherwise i whouldnt put the effort to write. Im just suggesting something that will actually (most likely) work, with the goal of making the overall experience as good as possible for women / non-binary / transgender people.
And questioning the more aggressive opinions is aimed (amongst other things to help people understand that simple ideas to complex solutions are often the worst ones.

Plus im sorry if what i have in my mind comes up as something that feels offensive in my writing. That's not the goal here!

Munchies:
Enas, since you are not the target audience, it is best that you just listen to what people are saying. I see stuff in the forums all the time that I am not the target audience for. When that happens, I am very careful about how I approach things - if I even approach it at all. Even moreso if I am part of a dominant group.

For example, I am cishet. If I see trans people talking about their lived experiences, I check my privledge and do what I can to be an ally.

Another example: I am black. If I see some Asian people talking about their lived experiences, I make sure that I listen more than I speak. As a black woman, I may empathize and identify with certain things, but I am still an outsider.

You did not approach this as a man who wants to better understand a situation and have productive conversations. You approached with your blinders on, full of biases, and just ... disregarded what people were saying.

I'm confused, to wich part of what i said are you referring to exactly? :o
1 year

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

I'm not saying this is useless. More so, i think it's interesting! Otherwise i whouldnt put the effort to write. Im just suggesting something that will actually (most likely) work, with the goal of making the overall experience as good as possible for women / non-binary / transgender people.
And questioning the more aggressive opinions is aimed (amongst other things to help people understand that simple ideas to complex solutions are often the worst ones.

Plus im sorry if what i have in my mind comes up as something that feels offensive in my writing. That's not the goal here!
1 year