Justpassingthrough88:
Hi everyone,

I’m hoping for some advice or shared experiences from others who’ve navigated intimacy struggles in long-term relationships. My husband and I met nearly eight years ago on Feabie—he’s both a feeder and a feedee, and at the time, I identified as a feeder who found both male and female weight gain erotic. We bonded over our shared kinks, but also quickly grew into best friends and eventually got married.

We have a strong, loving relationship—emotionally, we’re close and supportive of one another. But our sex life has completely dried up, and it’s been that way for several years now.

At around 350 lbs, my husband has lost most of his interest in sex. He also struggles with arousal and stamina. I’ll be honest: I don’t feel as sexually attracted to him anymore. Part of that is the physical change, like the roundness of his face, but more than that it’s the lack of intimacy, desire, and engagement that makes it hard to connect.

It’s also been difficult because he continued to gain weight even after I stopped encouraging it. I had emotionally stepped back from the feederism dynamic years ago, but he kept going. He eventually reached a size that no longer felt attractive to me—both in terms of physical appearance and the reality of what that size meant for our intimacy, his mobility, and his health. It became a source of distance rather than excitement.

He has now started losing weight for health reasons and has mentioned possibly looking into medication to help with libido. I fully support both of these steps and want him to feel good in his body.

Over the years, I’ve gained weight as well—going from around 130 to 180 lbs. While I still find aspects of weight gain erotic, it now feels more like a reminder of what’s missing than a source of pleasure. I’m not happy with my body or the state of our intimacy.

Before all this, I loved having a passionate sex life—something that was a big part of how our relationship began. But once we stopped focusing on his weight gain, our sexual relationship disappeared.

I feel guilty saying this, but right now my sex life mostly consists of reading posts on this forum and masturbating. It’s incredibly unsatisfying and leaves me feeling alone, like a part of myself is quietly fading away.

I want to be very clear: I do not want to leave him. This isn’t about looking elsewhere. I love my husband deeply, and I want to reconnect with him. But I’m at a loss for how to revive intimacy when:

* He’s not naturally dominant, which is something I respond to sexually.
* He’s not very interested in helping me achieve multiple orgasms, which I need to feel satisfied.
* And when the physical and emotional aspects of our sex life have been neglected for so long.

So I’m asking:

Has anyone here successfully reignited a long-dead sex life with a long-term partner?
Are there realistic ways to rebuild desire and intimacy when both of you—and your dynamic—have changed?

How do you start this conversation and process without making your partner feel judged or rejected?

Thank you so much for reading this and for any kind advice or stories you might share. I’m trying to be honest and constructive, and I appreciate having a place to talk about it.

Dough Queen:
Hey everyone 💬

I’ve been thinking a lot about the emotional side of feedism — beyond the food, fun, and fantasys. In any relationship, intimacy and connection are key, but in a feeder/feedee dynamic where care and vulnerability play such a big role, emotional closeness feels even more essential.

So I’m curious:
How do you nurture emotional intimacy in this dynamic?
Do you have specific, communication styles, or trust-building practices that help you stay connected on a deeper level?

Whether you're a long-time couple or just starting out, I'd love to hear from you guys how keep the emotional spark alive alongside the physical and sensual elements.

Miss32322:
Have you ever wondered how it feels to lose control and free will against a cruel and sexy woman? Not everyone is in the position to easily and without consequences serve as a femdom slave. I would be interested in training you because I like to explore new things.

Munchies:
Unsolicited advice is simply advice you did not ask for. Sometimes it's appreciate. Most of the time it's not.

And that's the gamble of it all. No matter how good your advice is, some people do not want to hear it. You can have the best intentions in the world, but sometimes, it will not be appreciated.

This does not mean the person rejecting your advice is wrong to do so. Maybe they already know what they are doing. Maybe they are going for something different that you are suggesting. Maybe they just don't care like that.

Whatever the reason, it's bet to respect their no. If you keep pushing, then no matter how good your advice is or how well meaning your intentions are, you are now the asshole.

Enas:
You are touching on a lot of interesting issues, one being the "objectively helpfull (or unhelpful advice", the other is the possibility that someone who acts as giving (uncolicited) advice, in reality just self-serving himself in some way.

I think ive covered them pretty well on my last replies i wrote just now.

GabDebu:
Having frequent and massive stuffings tends to produce more fat and a rounder belly. Like having a stuffing 3 times a week will cause some fat to accumulate in the belly.

Heavy on starchy foods and fat such as cheeses, butter and peanut butter.

A Yam W N0 Plan:
This is coming from my experience or recently gaining weight, finally trying out intentionally gaining weight (I got to 250lbs).

All my life, I've been larger than most kids (height, muscle, weight)... and for the longest time I used to be embarrassed being "large and strong". But now, I kind of embrace it. Like, being this size and working out, doing pull up or twice the size of other kids and being on varsity cross country and winning the state title.

Anyone else out there share that experience?

Munchies:
I love them big and strong. Sometimes it's because they work out, but other times, it's from lugging all that bulk around. Love it so much.

A Yam W N0 Plan:
With that, I love the surprise of capability, it reminds me we are all so capable regardless of how we look - and don't need to be put into a box that we are not! (I'll get off my soapbox). But, flexibility, always a goal, and hard to reach (pun may be intended).

A Yam W N0 Plan:
This is coming from my experience or recently gaining weight, finally trying out intentionally gaining weight (I got to 250lbs).

All my life, I've been larger than most kids (height, muscle, weight)... and for the longest time I used to be embarrassed being "large and strong". But now, I kind of embrace it. Like, being this size and working out, doing pull up or twice the size of other kids and being on varsity cross country and winning the state title.

Anyone else out there share that experience?

Arame:
Your family sounds lit. I’m from the city so hunting was never a thought. Now, I’m trying research if it’s possible to hunt with your bare hands 😅. Meat from the internet? I didn’t know you could do that. Also, remember when I mentioned that I initially thought it was inhumane to eat game? Rabbit was one of the reasons why? I don’t think I could bring myself to eat one 😅😅😅. I don’t know if I could bring myself to eat squirrels or raccoons either. Although, I heard they’re both delicious. Nah I looked up game meat and I think alligator is considered game.

IJDS:
Please do not try to hunt with your bare hands. Or with a bow. Or with anything other than a sufficient calibre gun aimed at the heart/ lungs. Bushcraft is neat, but hunting should take every effort to minimise suffering.

Makemegrow:
if you eat yeast will it make you bloated if you active it in you 🤪