Shadowmike:
Do the work mentally. This whole site and fetish is chock full of horrible people and it sucks. Everyone has walls and goals and it just makes no sense. There are thousands of feedees and not enough feeders etc to keep up anymore. It's a rotten situation no one wants to talk about.

Enas:
I was not talking about political beliefs at all here! I was talking more in how people live their every day lives. I remember i had seen the phrase but i cant recall where, "People dont live their lives, theyre just reacting to them". Which means every day Behavior is not the result of a logical thought process but instead is the result of people reacting instantly without thinking at all, so the quality of the behavior will corespond to that.

Reactionaries are people who do that in their political lives too, instead of only in their every day ones.

Morbidly A Beast:
I don’t think that is correct I believe human beings are capable of discerning their actions and are morally culpable for their actions, it’s not just reaction to stimuli

Head asses like the ones who critiqued our friend here after gaining a few lbs saw that they had gained weight and wanted to tease them thinking they might be motivated to lose weight cause they care about them, presumably, but this is wrong headed. And should be called out as it, bullying.

Morbidly A Beast:
being ridiculed for being fat is just a shitty behavior, it doesn’t mean the person doing so has reactionary politics, it’s probably more likely as reactionaries tend to be more bigoted (it’s there disagreeableness personality trait) but I have seen a lot of fatphobia hurled by self described progressives about xyz people it’s just a shitty way to communicate.

I feel like just being a good person matters more than what politics one believes, unless your politics actively harm another group,

Sweetannaxxl:
Took a small break from doing anything, and visiting the site due to some criticism from outside sources. It really took a toll on me and made me feel negatively about myself. I have gained a substantial amount of weight in a relatively small timeframe and must have come as a shock to my peers, which prompted some discomfort in conversation. My question i guess is how do I deal with this? I have no genuine interest in losing the weight, I know it won’t make me happy, but being ridiculed for my size is ridiculous. Does anyone have any good tips for shrugging it off?

Munchies:
So, I want to add a little bit of nuance to this conversation.

If you are getting very fat very quickly, it's normal to be concerned. Sudden rapid weight gain is usually not a good sign of things. Usually, people think severe depression or illness. It may be good to reassess how fast you're gaining as rapid gains are not sustainable and can lead to later weight loss.



No amount of concern excuses any kind of body shaming or bullying. Since these are your friends, be honest with them. Tell them how you feel about what they are saying and doing. If they are really your friends, they will respect this. If not, then these are not people you need in your life.

Morbidly A Beast:
This is the correct take. Its times like this i wish i could react to a forum post without typing out a message

Enas:
I have made a suggestion to the site owner that kind of includes that (altho not for its own sake)

Munchie's take is not sufficient. Everyone else's takes are not even serious.

Neoliberal individualism leads in a toxic atomization where its not appropriate to care for other people's businesses.

Also, very few people are actually capable of that in the first place. Most are acting in a reactionary manner.

Morbidly A Beast:
So neoliberalism leads to sweetannaxxl (sorry for butchering your name) being bullied for a change in weight and appearance or neoliberalism leads to atomization that sweet (for short!) will feel for? It’s just an incomplete sentence? What you’re saying might be true but how does that relate to what sweet is communicating?

Sweetannaxxl:
Took a small break from doing anything, and visiting the site due to some criticism from outside sources. It really took a toll on me and made me feel negatively about myself. I have gained a substantial amount of weight in a relatively small timeframe and must have come as a shock to my peers, which prompted some discomfort in conversation. My question i guess is how do I deal with this? I have no genuine interest in losing the weight, I know it won’t make me happy, but being ridiculed for my size is ridiculous. Does anyone have any good tips for shrugging it off?

Munchies:
So, I want to add a little bit of nuance to this conversation.

If you are getting very fat very quickly, it's normal to be concerned. Sudden rapid weight gain is usually not a good sign of things. Usually, people think severe depression or illness. It may be good to reassess how fast you're gaining as rapid gains are not sustainable and can lead to later weight loss.



No amount of concern excuses any kind of body shaming or bullying. Since these are your friends, be honest with them. Tell them how you feel about what they are saying and doing. If they are really your friends, they will respect this. If not, then these are not people you need in your life.

Morbidly A Beast:
This is the correct take. Its times like this i wish i could react to a forum post without typing out a message

Sweetannaxxl:
Took a small break from doing anything, and visiting the site due to some criticism from outside sources. It really took a toll on me and made me feel negatively about myself. I have gained a substantial amount of weight in a relatively small timeframe and must have come as a shock to my peers, which prompted some discomfort in conversation. My question i guess is how do I deal with this? I have no genuine interest in losing the weight, I know it won’t make me happy, but being ridiculed for my size is ridiculous. Does anyone have any good tips for shrugging it off?

Piggy Teaser:
Whatever is making you feel powerless in your life, that you need to attack strangers on the internet and try to present yourself as morally superior to them, as well as using infantilising language to belittle them, I really hope it gets better and that you work it all out xx

Munchies:
I'm fine sweetheart. Are you?

Nah, I'm talking about a situation I've seen time and time again on FF, Dimensions, and other kink spaces. People, men and women, who say they get off on ruining people's lives really do mean it.

I've seen people brag about how they systematically isolated their feedees as they made them fat. Telling them that no one but them would want them but them. Destroying their support network until the feeder is literally the only person in their lives.

Then they make it so their feedee literally cannot survive without them. They convince them to quit their jobs and focus on getting fat. Sometimes they ruin their health so much they literally need the feeder for all their needs. Often it's both.

Once all that happens, many feeders will bounce straight up once they grow bored. I'll never forget that one guy who proudly boasted that they abandoned their feedee in a nursing home because they got so fat it wasn't fun anymore.

So, would you like to try again?

HueOrdner:
Sorry, I need to blow off some steam here:

Absolutely every guy I show interest in tells me he wants to lose weight. Because you gotta lose weight if a pretty girl shows interest in you, otherwise you'll lose her, right? Some say it immediately, some mention it after a few dates.
For some reason 30kg seems to be the magic number here. It's the amount every guy wants to lose. Though, sometimes it's 50kg too.

If I know the guy a little better I will tell him that I find him attractive the way he is and that he doesn't have to lose weight for me, but it doesn't do anything. Once I even told a guy straight out on the first date that I'm not attracted to skinny people, but it didn't change much.

Maybe the guys really are doing it for themselves and that would be absolutely fine (although sad for me, haha), but to me it seems like they are doing it out of insecurity.
At this point with some guys any activities that involve food like eating out or cooking together stop being fun because they keep complaining about how fat they are and how much they are eating. Often without changing anything. Or they start eating very little and count calories. Other guys might avoid activities that include food as much as possible.

This makes me feel bad like myself. I am very happy with my body and eating habits right now, but I struggled with an eating disorder almost 10 years ago and I feel like this kind of behavior triggers me. It makes me wonder if I am also too fat and should diet too. It's such an awful feeling.

I don't want to be with someone who is so negative. I want to be with someone who enjoys life and likes to indulge in its pleasures.
But I can't seem to find someone like that. Am I just attracting dreadful people? Or are 99% of fat men just incredibly insecure?? I just want to be with someone who is self-confident and has a positive outlook on life.

And it's not like I'm against a guy staying fit. I obviously want them to be as healthy as possible.
I like being active myself. I love to dance and go for long walks or hikes. And of course I would like to do these activities with my partner. But I would like them to stay chubby while being active. I sometimes wish it was different, but skinny or muscular is just not my type. I wanna be with a guy who is like a sumo wrestler. Someone who is fat but still strong and fit.