I think it's worth remembering that being the feeder does not equal being the "dominant" one.

It's ok to be nervous or to ask how he would like it done.

The feedee can be the confident or directional one if that's how you both feel you'd like to work it.

So you can almost be a coy, shy, sweet feeder by asking what he'd like to eat next and how much, stroking his hair or his tummy while he eats it, offering to get more, gently coaxing him to eat/drink another. Feel free to push it slightly when he first says no, he's full (whether by use of words or by spoon/hand-feeding him). Try telling him how excited you are that he'll be so full and getting so fat. That's pretty persuasive

I struggled with this concept to start with and then realised I can't pretend to be someone I'm not - when it comes to sexy stuff (including feederism) I'm just happier following than leading. But that doesn't mean I can't be a feeder. I'm just a rather girly one.

I don't even see why you can't be dorky and awkward whilst he's tied with his hands behind a chair and you sweetly feed him donuts...

(Of course, if the dynamic he prefers is to be dominated and have you make all the decisions then maybe it's not going to work as well... you could try acting confident but you're not going to enjoy it as much if you're not really feeling it. Or maybe if you're generally a confident person it's just because it's the unknown that you're feeling dorky. Maybe practice makes perfect?)

Can I recommend these as background reading? Molly Ren's "Distention" and "Gluttony and Lust" are about her feeding her guy/playmate Deep End. They're awesome:

molly-ren.tumblr.com/tagged/true+stories/page/6

Let us know how it goes!

Is it just me who thinks this entire thread is a total wind-up?

First the invasion of privacy issue - but as soon as the contributors reach a rough consensus that that's not okay, we get gradual further admissions... As soon as each is dealt with by well-meaning posters, another somewhat bizarre admission comes out, almost as if the OP is trying to challenge you all... penis extension pills, illegal drugs, suicide attempts, vibrators, porn, herbal highs, the mental health ward...

Dude, if you're for real: quit whining. Move out if you don't like it. I for one think you're either being very childish or, sadly, you have poor insight into your condition(s) and therefore into your parents' motivations, which sound like NORMAL concerned parental reactions. If you do move out though, without a job you may find affording a decent place to live on state hand-outs is hard. You won't have spare cash for expensive penis pills and illegal or herbal highs. You certainly won't be risking your privacy being invaded when you go out for a cigarette on the deck though; there won't be a deck, only a rank stairwell with crack addicts in it, and in any event you won't be able to afford cigarettes.

Sorry to sound harsh but you can't expect people to respond sympathetically when you start a thread on one basis but gradually it comes out that there's a whole different scenario that you didn't make us aware of at the beginning.

Either that, or good job! That whole thread had me laughing in disbelief.

But Dragorat, I don't think you have "white knight syndrome". It's usually considered a bad thing. As in, having a compulsive need to rescue others (sometimes for dubious motives): www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-white-knight-syndrome/200905/white-knight-commonalities

What you did was confront abusive, rude and insensitive people and challenge them, with no expectation of reward or personal gratification for yourself. Bravo!

Fab photos Softgirl! And you win the prize for most eye-poppingly stunning use of curves + geometric print! Well jel! x

Good to see everyone and a fun night. Thanks to Miss Thunder for organising and to all who helped.

Wow.

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Saaaaaaaaaallllllltttttt, happy birthday to yoooooouuuuuuuuuu x

THAT is an epically good choice

Rats. I was all geared up for using "You! Come here! I'm fat and this country can't afford for me to get diabetes. You have to have sex with me NOW!" at the next available opportunity.

Such a good thread.

Like Gary I remember the study that said that being (moderately) fat actually doesn't shorten your lifespan.

I'm also trying to remember the literature on management of so-called obesity-related diseases such as diabetes, and arguments over whether or not certain diseases such as diabetes are really caused by obesity or whether the link is more sophisticated/complex than a causal link.

I recall reading that whilst there is an apparent correlation between being overweight and contracting adult-onset (Type II) diabetes, actually it also depends what you ate to get overweight. If you eat fast and sugary food to excess, you increase your risk of becoming diabetic. If you eat sensible food (ie. stuff that doesn't send your blood sugar up and down crazily, like protein and green vegetables and pulses) to excess, you might well be fat but you won't get diabetes because your blood sugar level has always been normal.

Further the expense to the health service caused by people with diabetes has a closer link to education than to being overweight. You are far less likely to require medical resources if you manage your diabetes well (type II diabetes can often be managed by food choices alone) than if you have poor control over your blood sugar. Because that control is tricky to achieve if you're confused about how to do it, a thin but cognitively challenged person is going to present much more of a problem to the GP and hospital than a very fat but bright or well-informed person who is dealing well with their diabetes.

Obviously there is a correlation between poverty and poor management of diabetes because of the education issue. Which links back to what Gingersnaps was saying about the real issue being fat = poor and also now fat = poor = drain on resources because of poor ability to manage a (usually) controllable health condition.

Can someone who has a more organised brain than me or proper medical knowledge summarise it/confirm or deny the above?

Does this apparent link to being overweight, which actually breaks down if you look at it carefully, apply to other health conditions as well as diabetes?

I seem to recall that there are certain cancers that fat people are allegedly more prone to, but again I wonder if that is actually fat people who eat a certain type of food or who don't take exercise (etc), not fat people per se. I also recall there are certain cancers that overweight people are LESS likely to get.

I agree that being overweight tends to be seen as a general evil when in fact it might be more specific, eg. eating certain foods (which you don't have to be fat to do) or behaving in a certain way (not managing a health condition). Sure, more fat people are likely to suffer those health conditions but it's not actually BEING FAT that causes them.